Does this come across?
2007-10-19 19:46:02 · 6 answers · asked by LELAND 4 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
Speed Bump Rodeo
Wall-to-wall (non) living
Inhaling exhalation
Elbows rolling through walls
Answering my conversations
Acquaintance by bumper bumping
Both backing into a
Common alley
Before travelling the
Speed bump rodeo
One after another
After another
2007-10-19 19:52:26 · update #1
I get you describing urban sprawl with a cowboy term. Did I get it?
2007-10-19 20:07:38 · answer #1 · answered by Your Uncle Dodge! 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A poem that's actually decent and not rhymey crap? I'm startled and absolutely breathless.
Very good. It comes across to those it needs to come across to. For those who don't "get poetry," it won't make sense, but if anything else is added, it'll just be gratuitous. The last thing a (good) reader wants is for the writer to assume they're stupid and spell it out. Leave a little mystery. Right now the balance is spot on. Good work.
2007-10-20 19:00:04 · answer #2 · answered by Kat(e) 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it comes clear than a puddle of water lol
2007-10-20 02:49:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
living in the city, breathing in exhaust, horns honking, reckless driving....? am i even close?
2007-10-20 04:13:03 · answer #4 · answered by Kate 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
strangers, as they come and go..
'til we all meet again...
and the conversations were brief...
was that it...i wonder now...
2007-10-20 09:29:05 · answer #5 · answered by Karnival Kid 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What do you got.?
2007-10-20 02:48:29 · answer #6 · answered by Fire 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋