i hate my family!!!?

Question

i love my dad and mom
but its my brother im worried about. he's always crying and shouting and argueing and talking back at my dad and mom and he always slams doors and shouts at us and messes up the whole house. he makes life a living hell
what shud i do?

im 14 and the brother's 9

i mean not i hate my family and i am not caring about my bro he is annoying me lolx

Answer 1

Why did you start out your question with the rather harsh statement "I hate my family!!!?"
Then you went on to say that you love your dad & mom.
OK, then that leaves your brother, (not your entire family)
If you hate your brother, then why are you so worried about him?
Would it not be fair to say that you love him, & care about him, & knowing that his toxic behaviour isn't good for him that you want him to stop?

Now that I've got you thinking about whether you actually hate your brother or not, I will try to answer your question.
1st of all, you should know that drilling down to what is causing your brother to behave the way he does, & what to do about it, is primarily the responsibility of your parents, and finally your brother.
I know you wish that you had a way of getting your brother under control, since he obviously has no self control of his own. But unfortunately you can't do it for him.
Self control needs to be exactly what it is called, "SELF" control.
Now the world is full of 9yo boys (& some girls) who have no self control, that is why it's the responsibility of the parents to TEACH self control to their children.

The best thing you can do for your brother is LEAD BY EXAMPLE! I know you already try your best to do what your parents ask of you, but just go out of your way to MAKE sure that you follow their rules without question, or defiance.
Plus try to give more of your time to your younger brother.
Play his favourite video game with him. Sit and talk with him.
When you talk with him try to get him to express his feelings in words. Right now when he is angry, he acts out because he isn't accustomed to expressing his anger in words.
If you give him some practice at that, then there will be a better chance that he will start to use his verbal skills instead of slamming doors. I'll bet when he shouts at you, he uses words that are directed at YOU. Like "you're stupid" or something like that. What you want to teach him is to resort to expressing his feelings by replacing those external statements with statements like "I'm getting very angry"

The next part of it, is to let him know that he has been HEARD.
If you manage to get him to talk to you, try not to respond with any judgemental statements. Also try not to offer him any direct advice on how you think he should behave (he probably already knows it). Instead after he has said a couple of things to you about how he feels, then MIRROR back what he has said in your own words.
That will give him a clear demonstration that you heard him, & understand what he has just said. You don't have to AGREE with what he says, just let him know that you have heard him, & understand him.

Life will appear to be a lot less frustrating for him if he feels that someone outside of himself understands his feelings, & he may calm down somewhat.
But whether he actually does calm down is entirely up to him.

OK?

Answer 2

Well first, as horrible as this may seen it's pretty normal to feel like you hate a family member during adolescents. It's also normal for your brother to be acting this way it's a term called "teen angst" and most teenagers get it.
Who can blame them? We live in a hard world.It's difficult for especially teens. School is grueling, you are sleep deprived and there are many stresses- peer pressure, getting good grades so you can go to college, getting your license, feeling attractive, juggling extra cirrcular activities-the list goes on and on.
With that being said, your brother is probably under a tremendous amount of stress. If people are mean to him at school that could be making things even worse. The best thing you can do is talk to him and be there for him. Ask him how is day is, how he's feeling and if there is anything you can do to help him. It's so important that your brother knows that someone cares and is there for him. This could prevent further harm being done. He is probably in a dark place but you can help by being his sister and supporting him during the hell that is adolescents.

Answer 3

I went through a lot also. In fact when I was in high school my family probably felt the same way. All I can say is try to be there for him even if he pushes you away. Talk to him. You don't have to ask him "Why are you like this" But just see where he is coming from. Has anything happenned to him that might have effected him negatively. Sometimes anger and rage comes from crying for attention or even it may be that he is sad. Although I cannot pin point what you should or should not do, I would try to be there for him and if it gets out of hand try to get him help before he hurts anyone or himself. My sis was a rebel always talking back and running away and slamming doors, She ended up trying to kill herself in her bedroom one night. I hope things at home get better for your family also. and for you too

Answer 4

Your brother is going through a stage. It happens to all children. Now, just because it happens, doesn't mean its acceptable for it TO happen. Your mom and dad need to start getting a little more strict with your brother. They need to set out rules and if your brother doesn't adhere to them, he needs to be aware that there will be consequences. In the mean time, continue having such a great relationship with your mom and dad. Every girl with a brother hates their brother at some point! In fact, if they didn't, that would be concerning! Its nothing unnatural & nothing to worry about.

Answer 5

just a few months ago i was the same. my mom and dad got transfered to some other place and i realised that all my anger and dislike on my family and realised that i got that horrible beheviour indirectly from one of my very close friends who hated life and had some problems with her parents.may be your brother is also suffering from a similar problem. try talking to him. if it does not work then try talking to his friends and know more about them. shake it off him now itself before it gets very big.tell him it is not good and he cannot live now without your parents.hell be alright as he there is a part of your blood in him. just stick with him and give him some love and affection.

Answer 6

first how old r u and how old is ur brother ..... u know what u don't hate ur family instead u love them c if u weren't bothered about ur brother u won't have asked this ques right now if u want me to help u tell me everytg that happens with u and ur brother....... just to help u a bit what ur saying is all a part of life n a part how u handle life okkkk reply back chowww

Answer 7

Unfortunately, you can't do much, being the sibling. However, if there is abuse or you think your brother is a danger to yourself or others, perhaps talk to a school counselor. They can help you and possibly refer to you additional help. If nothing can be done about them, it may serve to at least help you cope.

The best thing you can do, though, is do your best in school/activities, take care of yourself, and set yourself up to get out of there with a good job and bright future.

I wish you much luck xo

Answer 8

Talk to your parents about how uncomfortable your brother is making you. Stay calm; they likely are pretty upset/stressed out too. Hearing from you that you are also unhappy may make them see that your brother may need more help from them or from someone outside the family. Be brave, it won't last forever.

Answer 9

Love him anyways.
You never know, he could be saying the same thing about you.

And, talk to your parents about it. Tell them how you feel...as part of the family you have a right to voice your feelings just like your brother apparently does his.

Praying it works out for you all.
M

Answer 10

How old is he? You should tell your parents how you feel so maybe they will seek help for your brother. Apparently, he has some issues.