Premarital counseling?

Question

Hi all, my guy and I have heard that premarital counseling is crucial to a long-lasting marriage. We don't have too many issues, except we both kinda have tempers and I tend to fib in order to make his life less stressful. My question is, is counseling necessary? If it is, is it expensive?

Answer 1

It is not expensive at all, if you ask a member of the clergy ,(Pastor ,Reverend,Minister) it's free.
As to your "Q" of it being necessary, I personally believe it's
one of the most essential things a couple can do to prepare themselves for marriage. Marriage can be difficult enough
when there are no issues, or differences, let alone when conflicts do arise. Premarital counseling is the best way to
solve future issues before they have a lasting effect in a marriage.
So I wouldn't say that is necessary,just wise.

Hope I Helped,
Rev 9 Iron

P.S. It sounds like Chris has sat in one of my sessions.
Terrific input!

Answer 2

Get counseling regardless of what anyone says!! you should be able to get counseling fairly cheaply and some churches may provide you with counseling at no cost.
You say that you do not have too many issues but even one is enough to possibly break up a relationship and the fact that you both have tempers can lead to more problems.
If you have a car and you know the brakes could be bad, you do not wait until you are going down a steep hill to fix them but you fix them ahead of time and by counseling you can learn how not to let your tempers get out of control during disagreements that every marriage has - even the long lasting ones - and perhaps he may resent it if you fib and he finds out that you have later. These are the things counseling will help you set up the rules for that will help you in the long run, like fixing the brakes on the car ahead of time. I hope you do have a long and happy marriage.

Answer 3

Sometimes It does not cost anything. I am about to get married and my Church is doing our premarital counseling. Check it out at a church if it costs anything it would be REALLY cheap!

I think it's a great idea for a marriage. People in premarital Counseling tend to try harder in their relationships to make each other happy while they are making themselves happy as well. I think you should just give it a try. It would not hurt!

Answer 4

I personally think that the Premaritial Counseling is good for some people, and other people .. they don't need it. But in the end, it can't hurt.

If I can make a suggestion.. but in my marriage I've learned that there are good times and bad times.. the good times, everything is cake.. not so good times.. that's where a marriage can start to fail..

But I've learned..

1) Never let Pride take over, where you can't apologize.
2) When there's an argument or problem.. it's never just one person causing the problem.. it takes two to create a problem.. so neither one of you can act like you're walking on water..
3) Forgive ... no matter how bad you hurt.. forgive.
4) Remember to recommit yourself by doing special things for each other out of the blue.. not just when things are bad.. but when thing are good too... but do something extra nice.. give him a back massage for no reason... or he can bring flowers for no reason.. little things like that help.

And finally when things do get bad.. and you're really angry.. once you cool off and apolgize.. and then you have that weirdness between you two.. for a bit.. sit down and write down 20 things you love about him or her.. it helps get over problems.

I'm not saying marriage is full of problems.. but in the end.. problems come about in all sorts of relationships.. and that includes marriage.. the difference is.. if you have a problem with your parent.. divorce isn't really an option. But your spouse .. it's an easy way out.

Remember... Divorce is the Easy Way out.. and nothing that's really worth while is easy.

Good Luck.

Answer 5

Counseling is not necessary, but it is very useful. It helps bring up a lot of issues that couples simply don't think about before they're actually married. I would definitely recommend it. Usually church ministers do it, which should not cost anything. Other services, I would not know how to go about getting them or how much it costs. I guess there would be some online.

Answer 6

Some would say it's vital. If you have no issues right now, who's to say you won't in the years to come? If you're living together you might see everyday things that couples don't see who are living apart...but that's just the tip of the iceberg! If you both have tempers, then it would probably be beneficial for you guys to find out how you can better work through that.

Counseling might help you find avenues in which to employ fair fighting techniques. Sure--we all want to be right at times, but there are battles you just don't touch at times.

Answer 7

depends on if you are getting counseling through your church or a private counselor. Private (obviously) is going to be fairly expensive. Premarital counseling is a must if you are planning on being married in a RC church. If you think you need it...absolutely go.

Answer 8

Depends on the level of expertise you want. Churches often provide premarital counseling. The quality is unknown.

Answer 9

It doesn't have to be expensive. Often a pastor will counsel couples seeking to get married for free. It really does not hurt to speak to a counselor or pastor...etc... before being wed. It is better to bring concerns out before you get married.

Answer 10

It is helpful for pointing out things that you might not have thought about that you are going to have to compromise on. You would not believe how many differences two people can have. I would not call it crucial if you have strong communication skills.