Okay, I know I sound like everyone else, but here's for trying! My husband of 12 years is an alcoholic, with all the problems that that causes. He does not want to stop drinking even after jail,prison, counseling, medication, etc. I have decided to leave him, but therein lies my problem. I am not employed and I am take care of my 91 year old mom. I have no income other than her SS. My daughter lives in S.D. and I could go there, but I have a house and property here plus lots of things to move, also have animals that I am responsible for. I have no help here as I know nobody who could help me go through things (lots of stuff) and help me pack, as I cannot do it by myself. I need enough money to rent a moving van and all that. Once I get to SD I can gain employment so I will have an income. It is
just too overwhelming to try and do it all from this end. So, how do I get enough money to move, and how do I do it? Anyone?
2007-10-19 16:49:43 · 10 answers · asked by anita r 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Just to clarify, my Mom lives with me..my sister just died the 21st of Sept. so I have no family close to help out. I live in Idaho and my daughter and son live in S.D. I have no friends in the city I live in as I transplanted from another city in Idaho. I live on 5 acres and have two dogs, three cats, five horses, four chickens and 1 pygmy goat. I cannot afford the mortgage on my my mom's Social Security.
2007-10-19 18:04:20 · update #1
Your freedom and your sanity are worth more than all those "things." Get out, go to your daughter's home, and then get your possessions out if you can; if you can't, you'll still be free, and that's what matters. I'm 52, and I left with next to nothing; it was the best thing I ever did.
2007-10-19 16:54:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you and I applaud and congratulate you on taking a stand for yourself. And if your husband has done all this and has not changed his ways he is not going to. I would suggest that you sell what you can get rid of and try getting your animals adopted. I know that sounds harsh and you may have an attachments to them but most important is getting away from this marriage. If there is no physical abuse then I would say make him leave the property not you. File a restraining order and have him move out. But if there is physical abuse I suggest you get rid of everything that you can by selling or donating but try to sell what you can to get the money to go to your daughters and what you want to keep that you can store it at your mothers home. If there is abuse then I suggest you go to your local social services if you have children at home or to the police department and file domestic violence charges against him. You can always replace possessions but you can't replace your life. Is there no other family besides your mom or daughter that might be able to loan you what money you are not able to come up with? You might also want to check and see with womens shelters if they offer any services that will help you so you can get out of your situation. If they don't they can probably stir you in the right direction to get that help. Good luck, best wishes.
2007-10-20 00:49:37 · answer #2 · answered by Gladys C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really need help you can go to your local welfare office and explain your situation, they have something that they offer people ONCE IN A LIFETIME. They will pay for 2 weeks in a motel while you look for a place and normally will help you with the deposit. sometimes they'll even help with paying for the moving van and an oven or fridge.
call 411 also they can give you information about anything from shelters to finding a doctor to anything.
God Bless you and your mom I wish you both the best. You are a very strong woman for doing what your doing, and I'm so proud of you and I'm sure there are so many women out there who are too.
2007-10-20 00:04:45 · answer #3 · answered by TM25 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This will take some time, but you can do it.
Aren't you entitled to half the property of the marriage?
Will your daughter let you stay with her?
Can you sell your property and have someone adopt the animals you can't take with you?
If your Mom is broke, doesn't she qualify for government assistance and nursing home care?
Take it one day at a time. Ask a trusted friend, a lawyer,and a therapist to help you with the particulars. Do the next right thing. Be good to yourself. Good luck.
2007-10-19 23:56:29 · answer #4 · answered by Yam King 7 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
so sorry to hear about your situation. why do you have to move? just tell your husband that if he can't stop drinking then he's not permitted back in the home. his drinking is contaminating your whole life. does he family that will take him. obviously prison,counselling and meds have not helped. if you are leaving...put as much away as possible and collect it that way. have you looked into a woman's shelter..do they have programs to help out that way? good luck to you!! you deserve better then that.
2007-10-19 23:56:39 · answer #5 · answered by monroe2 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first break it to him gently, it is not working honey, i want a divorce. first take all your essentials and ask for a lift from a friend instaed of a moving van but if you have lots of stuff, then rent a SMALL van keyword small and move out gradually. if you have many things to take care of like a dog or cat and also a person to take care of, then ask a family member for help and they will if they don't then thats very unfair so i hpe i helped
2007-10-19 23:56:09 · answer #6 · answered by randy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The answer to all of your questions and problems is:
Go to an al-anon meeting, get a sponsor, follow her suggestions, work the steps.
Trust me. They can help you.
Good luck. i will pray for you.
2007-10-19 23:53:01 · answer #7 · answered by box of rain 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i left with nothing and left my animals with my ex husband 2 cats he is still taking care of them
2007-10-19 23:54:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
file papers and kick him out let the court decide maybe you can stay here and keep your house, the court may grant you allomony. good luck i hope this helps.
2007-10-19 23:54:31 · answer #9 · answered by mab 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need serious legal advice and a friend.
2007-10-19 23:57:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋