Why do I have the urge to cross dress?

Question

I am a man who enjoys the company of women and have NO sexual attraction towards men. However, I get the tendency to dress up like a girl and I cant stop. I really want to stop, but it is hard and I dont know why I have this urge.

As a kid I was put into a dress couple of times by my sister and dont know if that has any bearings.

Answer 1

If you like it do it. I dont find anything wrong with it. Why would you want to stop?

Answer 2

I can't answer the why part, but it is not true that you "can't stop." Assuming you are of normal intelligence--and you must be: you managed to write the question, etc.--you are making a choice every time you dress up like a girl. The fact that you don't go to work that way tells us you can do it or not do it when you choose.

Some people are cross-dressers. Most people look at a man as if he is really weird if he wears what is consdered to be a woman's clothing. However, I don't know a woman alive who is NOT a cross-dresser!! Any time men's fashions come out, it is only a matter of a couple years until that is the hottest women's clothing item. Women wear their husband's underwear (especially when they're preggy), they wear their shirts and pants. Women wear suits that look like men's suits and they wear ties like only men used to wear. The list goes on.

I'm not voting for or against the cross-dressing issue. Just saying it's not as weird as people try to make it out to be, if a man wears something or likes something that a woman wears. People are people. Let them wear whatever is comfortable--within reason.

Maybe it wasn't the dress (article of clothing), maybe it was that you saw how people made over your sister and assumed the apparel issue was what was getting her all that positive attention. (?)

And you don't have to understand it to stop doing it. If you want to stop, get rid of all the female items of clothing you have around the house (if they're yours). Then, just don't put them on any more. If you REALLY want to stop, just don't do it. You're a big boy. You can control your actions. When you feel the urge to dress up, just go outside and work in the yard, or call a friend and go someplace. Distract yourself until the urge passes.

Answer 3

There is absolutely nothing wrong with admiring women's clothing and perhaps wanting to try on a little something now and again. It doesn't mean that you're attracted to men nor does it mean that you don't like women an awful lot. What it does mean is that your regular life might not be offering you all the opportunities for self-expression that you need and that you find women's clothing fits that need. Are you a creative person who has quelled such desires in yourself in order to fit in or work in a regular job? If so, that might be part of the puzzle. Try to express yourself creatively and see if your desire for women's attire subsides. If not, be as fabulous as you are already. I've known several people who were more comfortable in trans-gender clothing and that's just fine. It's more a problem of finding a community in which that's acceptable (I suggest the west coast - a.k.a. the left coast).

Answer 4

I happen to know you are not alone -- that's a fact. Don't sweat the small stuff. Although, I'm sure you are tormented by your secret and it would be unfortunate if you don't have someone to share this with. If you don't find someone....google it, find a group of people who are just like you and you can share your feelings and feel more comfortable being who you are even if you have to do it behind closed doors or keep it hidden from the rest of your family and friends. I'm telling you, you can go to a shrink, but they don't know...I know someone who spent the time, money and effort and ended up with "it's okay to be you" and there is no better answer than that. You're not a freak and you are not alone. Thankfully, you have the internet to prove that. Find like groups with like people and enjoy the times that you can dress up and just be yourself without worry. ;-)

P.S. I know it's not a gay thing either. If you were a woman, you'd be gay because of your attraction to women, right? I'm willing to bet that you want to be a woman and be with a woman.

Answer 5

Obviously you have a feminine side but you are still stuffed to the brim with testosterone! You should try doing some feminine things in modification, women find it sensitive and attractive and you also enjoy it. So, go get your nails done with a clear coat, try some natural makeup to enhance your looks, why not buy three of the same pair of shoes in different colors, maybe even pierce an ear. You are just wondering, your not attracted to men, so why should curiosity turn into manufactured homosexuality?

Answer 6

The clothes that you wear do not reflect your gender or sexuality. However, it's distuturbing to know that, though you're not gay, you enjoy being overtly feminine. Are you trying to tap into your feminine side? Because dressing like a women doesn't accomplish that. Feminity is internal, as in the emotions you feel and the way you react to certain situations. You'll never relate to women if you dress like them.

Answer 7

Don't worry about it. Have you noticed how many women are wearing jeans and other male style clothing, in public? You obviously want to try out something that appeals to your nature. But, you are a man and you can't go out into public dressed in female clothing now can you? Women can express themselves in ways men can't and thats how it works. Oh, there are some organizations out there that will give you support if you want it, if not then just give it up.

Answer 8

Cross-dressing may have nothing to do with sexual orientation and if you're not attracted to men, you are neither gay nor bi: you're a straight man into cross-dressing.

Since you are uncomfortable with this you should seek out psychological counseling. This will either assist you in getting your urges under control or in adjusting to and accepting these feelings.

Yes, an early childhood experience, especially around the age of 8 can influence this.

There's nothing ethically wrong with it, but if you are having difficulties, counseling can help.

Answer 9

Sorry, I thought you were talking about taking a marker or pen and drawing "crosses on dresses."

What you do in your own personal time is your business. There is nothing illegal with wearing a dress. If you enjoy it, do it. Keep it to be a hobby that you do not share with others. People are too uptight to deal with what you are doing.

PS When you wear a dress, that gives you the right to complain about everything, 24 hours a day.

Answer 10

You just want to be pretty. It probably has to do with your childhood, but probably not the incident of trying on your sisters clothing. I say you embrace it and go for it if it'll fulfill a void in your life. Obviously there's something internally inside of you wanting to liberate your feminine/pretty side and you want people to treat you as such. Try some drag bars, you might really love it. Many so called "drag queens" are actually heterosexual so don't worry about it that way.

Answer 11

You aren't weird.

You aren't bi.

You aren't trangender.

You can't exorcise your desires by "hanging out" with anyone not like you. Sheesh.

You're just a transvestite who is apparently closeted at the moment.

If you're unhappy with your urges, seek qualified help. If you just want to wear women's clothes, then by all means do so.

Just be aware that most people will find your other life hard to accept, so be very careful to whom you reveal your secret. Good luck, relax and God bless.