Do u think my marriage is doomed before it even started? See details. Please help, thanks.?

Question

OK, I live in America, he lives in India. WE did have a three month courtship period. We saw each other once a month, and spoke every week on the phone. Now, i"m in the states, he's still in INdia, waiting to come over. We still only speak once a week. We agreed this was sufficient since neither had much to say to one another. I don't carry his pic wherever I go; I just don't. I don't want to loose it. plus, he's my guy, so sooner or later, he'll be seen by all. But it seems I'm a bit odd compared to most indian girls in love with their men...especially one's who are newly wed...because once a week is enough for me, and I have enough pics of him in my heart, and in my room, i don't need to carry it around. I hear we need to act inseparable, so then when we're together, it'll be common, and our marriage will flow smooth for years to come. We sort of act like an old married couple; but he's not complaining. We know we miss and love each other. We're just not outward 'bout it. I get advic

on how to correct it. But when i ask him, he says there's no problem to fix. Then I hear because of the distance, if communication isn't everyday and very keen, then one or both will go astray while waiting...but if communication w/o break is there, both will faithfully wait to be reunited. All this is putting doubts where they need not be. The advisors aren't saying this to scare me I know, just to nudge me in the right direction...but shouldn't I wait for cues from my mate? I'm just not feeling what others want me to feel and react to...so they think I"m odd, and want to fix me before I fail at something I haven't started. But I don't think I"ll fail, but they're certain I will...in time. Y are they so worried about this with me? IF it fails, it does, if it doesn't, it doesnt. IT's a harsh reality, but I'll deal. Y can't I do this marriage thing my own way w/o unneeded(right now), advice? Give it to me when i need, not when I don't! I won't remember then! But when the chips are down

no one's gonna be there, and the ones who are will say I told u so, and well...I won't remember what they told me! They say it's advice to use later, for when trouble starts brewing, but I WON'T remember! Y can't people see that? I'm not trying to attack, and yes, thanks. But for now, I just wanna be left alone, and enjoy my long distance marriage! See, no one will listen to that, and therefore, I don't how to ignore them. And they get offended and won't be there when i do need 'em! Urgh! What do I do? HOw do I handle this situation? Please help! I"m living at home(have to now), so please keep that in mind when answering. thanks again!
Sorry this is so long, i tried to make it short! ='(

Answer 1

love is different for everyone
dont worry about what others might think...

Answer 2

Sociologists say the wedding is doomed if most of the following symptoms are present for a couple.

1) No respect for the institution of marriage.

2) Family income below $50,000 a year.

3) No religious background in common.

4) Drug or alcohol addiction

5) Mental or physical abuse.

6) married below the age of 25

7) Not graduate from high school
You and your promised seem to have none of these in your relationship. It should go well and I hope you two are wedded and together soon.

Answer 3

you are right they are wrong. dont let other people control your mind. you have to believe in what you believe. if you and your spouse are o.k with the relationship as it is, you have nothing to worry. its only when 1 of you is not satisfied/unhappy the problems start. if a marriage ends, it ends, there is nothing strange about it as 50% of all marriages will end in divorce. if the 2 of you gel together then your marriage will survive other wise it will die a natural death.

why do you need your family when you are already mentally prepared to live even without your husband. you are already prepared for the worst i.e divorce so you dont have much to worry. if it bothers you so much try to play act in front of your family as if you are following their advice word for word and do your own thing when alone. you can make excuses, post pone, express doubts, ask questions do anything to get them off your back. you are trying to cross too many bridges before you reach them hence the anxeity first wait till you hit an obstacle before you try to figure out how to overcome it.

my guess is ( i may be wrong ) that you had sex before marriage with a boy friend and you might still be seeing someone in u.s.a and your family knows about all of this so they got you married in a hurry to someone in india who does'nt know all this. you want to tell the truth to your husband but are unable to do so for fear of your family and divorce. your family wants you to play up the "good wife" part so your husband does not get suspicious about your past.

Answer 4

Well, the answer is simple and straight... when niether of you have any problems about the way it is going on...
There will certainly be no problems in the future too...
Infact, the kind of relation you are having with your spouse... is the kind of relation every married couple hopes to have after 4 or 5 years of marriage...
TOO MUCH OF EVERYTHING IS BAD...
Even when couples are too close... they tend to develop friction eventually... due to work pressures, family pressures and responsibility... etc. got it..??

I am really glad to hear.. that you and your spouse are gifted with a mature relationship... BEST OF LUCK...
You will have a great life with him... So get prepared to enjoy it... But remember.. to not change things drasticly after he comes to America... got it..??

take care..

regards

vikas

Answer 5

Hey.....

If u r getting unnecessary opinions... u must tell them "U r married and u guys are still falling in love unlike them." And tell them u like doing it ur way.

Seriously there is no reason y u should do wat ur relatives or other say. This is ur married life...... just tell them u did appreciate their help incase something happened later and not now when all is fine.

And as for communication with ur husband.... do it the way u both are happy. U dont have to show others that u r all honey and sugar.

Answer 6

This is your relationship, and your love.
Not every person, and not every couple, operates the same way.
If this is how it is working, and you two are deeply commited and love each other, it's all you need.
You don't need to act all swoony and clingy.. espically if that's just not you.

Answer 7

You can handle the situation by your own - but you just want a 2nd opinion - But then every body see the same thing and perceive differently.
Therefore you think what's the best option for you, in your situation - JUST DO IT !!!!!!!!!

Answer 8

distance,its not a matter,,understandng only can make things very closer,both of u very great at mutuality,,frankly now a days people are not so patience in relationships, Its very easy to say no even it have its solution,,both of u very far from althese qualities,,great keep it up,,u should have the best days a head,,,,,,

Answer 9

To busy being wealthy and in demand to stress approximately love,getting which comprise yet another in demand individual places you in the limelight for awhile,then getting a divorce places you there lower back,they only love being wealthy and in demand!God bless:O)

Answer 10

I did not read the details but asking the question means you have a gut feeling. You are probably already right....sorry.

Answer 11

don't bother comparing yourself - if you & he are comfortable - DO NOT WORRY.

also, look into a 'Reliance phone card' the rates are inexpensive for calling India.