I have 4 kids. 14,13,5, and 16 mnths. 2 weeks ago my job had to lay me off because i missed too many days due to my spouse's heart condition. They do have me back for automatic rehire in 3 mnths though. Since than my 13 year old daughter has been acting as if i owe her for losing my job. She no longer hardley does anything around the house and she acts as if she does everything ( I've had to resort to washing our laundry out by hand, and I've taken up 4 different paper routes that I do by foot 7 dys a week, so we can at least make rent). I'm up at 3 am and when I do finally lie down for an hour nap when she gets home from school at 4:30 she acts as if I'm being lazy and requiring her to do too much. Her Dad and i have tried everything we can to give her some space, while asking some responsibility the 3 older kids,1 is cooperating the best he can with a broken collarbone. What do we do? I'm trying to do the best I can and i'm about to go crazy w/ worry, stress & lack of sleep.
2007-10-19 15:17:10 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
At 13 girls are DIFFICULT (to put it mildly). It seems like no matter how good a kid they are, they have this invisible switch that turns them to evil at the drop of a hat. (hormones). You have to be understanding with their confusion BUT at the same time be firm and don't let them get away with the bad, selfish behavior. Sometime it seems easier to give in, but that is the worst thing you can do. Make her realize that she is not the only person in the world. It is tough, but in 10 years you will both laugh about the drama.
2007-10-19 15:27:01 · answer #1 · answered by risahath 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While she certainly should help out, your daughter probably feels overwhelmed with responsibility, as this is probably new to her, and she may also feel threatened by your loss of work. You definitely need some help, though, not only with household chores, but with finances. You're working yourself to death for peanuts. You can't possibly earn enough money to keep a family of six from going under, by working paper routes. You should contact your social services agency and see if they can provide some household help and financial help for you. I would think your family would certainly qualify for some type of financial and medical assistance. Meantime, are there any relatives such as a mother, mother-in-law, sisters or sisters-in-law, who could occasionally lend a hand? Don't be too proud to ask for help, and don't depend entirely on your daughter. Yes, she should be assigned certain chores. If she complains, ask her if she'd rather see you end up in the hospital with a nervous breakdown. You also have a baby to take care of, and you can't do it all by yourself. Your husband is ill, so he can't help much, and neither can the son with the broken collarbone. So please look to help from relatives, social services, and even your church. Don't be too proud. Most people would be willing to come to your rescue. And when you get back on your feet, maybe you'll be able to return the favors. Good luck, dear. I'll keep you in my prayers.
2007-10-19 22:45:41 · answer #2 · answered by gldjns 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You and your husband have to sit her down and tell her that you're all in this together, and are struggling to make ends meet. She is a member of the family, and as such, must do her part. You are the only breadwinner right now, and she has to continue to take on her share of the responsibilities. Unless she'd rather take your paper routes!
2007-10-19 22:44:53 · answer #3 · answered by justme 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your kid needs discipline, show her who's the boss.
2007-10-19 22:28:57 · answer #4 · answered by Mother of three 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋