My husband and I have been married for over 4 years now, and we have a beautiful little boy. In the 4 years we have been married we have actually been "living together" maybe 2. I work very hard to make my husband a nice home, and try to get debt off us whenever he is deployed. However the moment that he comes back, we go right back into debt again from his spending sprees. Because of that I have had to go back to work, and because of the strain on cash I had to find a job that I could take my son with me so we wouldn't have to pay for child care...which means I work 7 days a week, with no days off ever. I am looking for another job, but this is all I can find right now to keep us from financial ruin. Somedays I just look at my husband and want to leave. Just say you take your half of the debt and I'll take mine. We dont connect like we used to, he spends his time playing games online. I just dont know what to do, I made a vow to him and I want to keep it. Its just very hard.
2007-10-19 14:28:34 · 13 answers · asked by ~*April*~ 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
"Vows" are made to be broken and if your unhappy then why stay in the relationship? Take care of business first and then when your ready go your separated way you leave with no regret or go see a marriage counselor and try to work it out. But your happiness is more important specially towards your son.
2007-10-19 14:38:16 · answer #1 · answered by travlove36 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your husband seems to be selfish and doesn't appear to care about your financial well being, or care about you for that matter. If he was a good provider, he would make sure that the debt wouldn't fall onto your shoulders. He sounds immature. If you are doing all of the things you have said, then it is time to do something for yourself and take some time for you. You time is very important. He needs to step up and take care of your little boy too. He needs to be a role model for his son.
Even though you made a vow, you have to make a determination at some point. You need to be happy and healthy for your son. There are three people involved in this family...not just your husband and you, and somebody has to care for this little boy too.
Good luck.
2007-10-19 14:48:07 · answer #2 · answered by rrunner68 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You married wrong, you are being abused. I can tell you this, is a matter of time for you to be divorce in the future. It will only take for you to say "enough", and that will be good for you. Because as a person, there is no need to work 7 days a week, why not having 2 days off a week, or at least 1?. To take your son to the park?. It looks like you just married wrong and there is nothing much about that. I would keep my vows if I your partner for example was riding bicycle, broke his leg, can't work for a while, or something similar, but you just married someone who give very little value to you and yoru vows. In other words, you are just wasting valuable-life-time, overworking, wasting the young years of your boy who are not going to come back. You should be in a park playing and not working to be paying debts of someone who can't control his spending habits.
2007-10-19 15:17:57 · answer #3 · answered by livingthe30s 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You really do sound confused. And no wonder, you must be exhausted. You never get a break.
Your husband needs to know that you are to the point of ending the relationship.
If you want to keep your vows as a matter of principle, you are in for a long lonely marriage. If you want to keep them because you still love and want to spend the rest of your life with this man, than the marriage may work.
You are not trapped. You are already supporting yourself and your son. If you are no longer in love, then it's probably time to move on. You seem like a strong person. I think you would be fine.
2007-10-19 14:49:25 · answer #4 · answered by candy'sroom 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He is a dead-beat husband. He is a irresponsible man. He needs to get a job and start lifting some of the burden from you. You give him an ultimatum to start taking care of the family or he is out the door. He is lazy and that is not an excuse. Do this as soon as possible and if he gets violent call the police, don't be a pushover no more Mr. Nice-Guy.
Good Luck
2007-10-19 14:40:55 · answer #5 · answered by Chris B 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You all should try counseling. If he is in the military you can probably get some financial counseling at the base.
If he has problems with money take away his debt card etc, sit down and make a budget and stick to it.
Try to have him get some bills on allotment.
2007-10-19 14:36:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't go on like this indefinitely. Your husband seems to be selfish and immature. Confront him. Try to get him to realize that he has obligations to you and your little boy. You might have to shake him up a bit, but it will be worth it.
It he refuses to pull his weight, you might have to resort to a trial separation. Playing games on-line is bad enough. Playing games in your marriage is not. Let him know. And good luck!
2007-10-19 14:40:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I even have felt like this before. See I joined the protection tension whilst i became into 18 (nonetheless a virgin) and that i dated for a rapid time. yet I met my hubby whilst i became into 19 and we've been given married a 300 and sixty 5 days later. i became into out on my very very own for merely a 300 and sixty 5 days before I settled down. So right here i became right into a black Donna Reed. i became into taking good care of the youngsters and making specific all my husband's desires have been dealt with. Doing for each guy or woman else and then me. I lost somewhat myself in all that. I even stopped going out. Then the longer i became into married the greater monotonous issues have been given. i wanted some excitement.i did no longer brush men's flirtation off like i exploit to. i extremely thought "damn what might he be like?" So what I did became into I talked to my hubby and he had shared with me he had sensed something became into incorrect. In marriage couples want time away. you may desire to have the point of have confidence the place you may circulate away for the weekend and he or she additionally will. we want time to omit one yet another and to be faraway from the youngsters. Make it a habit of the the two certainly one of you spending time faraway from each and every thing a minimum of each and every 3 hundred and sixty 5 days. We additionally began place taking part in. He might rather get into character. He might textual content textile me, call me and e mail me as somebody else. Then we began relationship. And it became into like some element new yet no longer probable. I enjoyed it reason we've been given to appreciate one yet another as quickly as greater. And we've been somewhat diverse than we've been years in the past, yet you may desire to easily communicate including your spouse and you 2 can help one yet another through issues.
2016-12-29 19:03:42 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's going thru the hard times that make the good times better. Hang in there.
2007-10-19 14:35:29 · answer #9 · answered by cobblejoe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you talked about this with him...it doesn't sound like it. If he is aware of it, and denying it, then why don't you remove his name from the credit card accounts to prove he really is the problem. Good luck with everything.
2007-10-19 14:36:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋