What do you think of this one??

Question

However i put it
it doesn't seem
to come out right
i thought you wanted the pizza
i thought you wanted the pencil
i thought you wanted the tattoo
i thought you wanted the S.W.A.T. team
i thought you wanted the five star hotel
i thought you wanted Bush
i thought you wanted the diamonds
i thought you wanted Atlantis
i think i should stop thinking
but where else could you find somebody
to be obsessed with what YOU want??

Answer 1

quite interesting
u got yourself a star for this

Answer 2

I like it and Blue (the cat) thought it was a good poem to give to any other cat that he liked. So I copied it and it is now a flyer in the neighborhood for all to see. Good one keep up the good work. Right up there with Green Eggs and Ham.

Answer 3

Eh...No meter, bland message. The formula is too repetitive, actually, and as such looks heavy on the page and doesn't read well.

The other (major) problem is that it just doesn't make sense.

Answer 4

Where's the RHYMING scheme? A poem without a rhyme or rhythem is just a bunch in inane words. Better work on that.

Answer 5

I thought you wanted an answer.
I thought you wanted a beer.
I thought you wanted some champagne.
I thought you wanted some wine.
I thought you wanted some soft music.
I thought you wanted a neck rub.
I thought you wanted your scalp massaged.
I thought you wanted your shoulders massaged.
I thought you wanted some chocolate.
I thought you wanted some chips.
I thought you wanted a chic flick.
I thought you wanted me.
I thought you wanted....

Answer 6

Cute. Develope your sense of humor. Good sense of irony, too.

Answer 7

I loved this! I could SSOOO relate! However did you read my mind?? And you said it so simply. Cool.

Answer 8

I think it is pretty cool but you should put more of your feelings in it.

Answer 9

Wow.

Answer 10

meh