When someone talks down to you like you're stupid? Condescending tone? What's the motive in that? How should you react back?
2007-10-19 14:15:07 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Have you ever heard the psychological term, projetcion before? It was coined by Freud, and is basically a defense mechanism- people deal with their own insecurities by literally projecting or attributing the inappropriate behavior to someone else. For example, if a friend is basically insinuating that you're stupid or promiscuous, (and you're not) it's most likely because he/she feels bad about him/herself in that whatever they've directly or indirectly been calling you, really applies to him/her.
Think of it as a preventative measure: Your friend is insecure because he/she feels insecure and therefore attempts to make you feel insecure as well, hoping that you won't notice how stupid, ect. he/she is.
I feel like the best way to deal with this kind of issue would be to tell them that the way they've been talking to you upsets you because they're making you feel stupid and that you disagree (obviously- if you actually thought you were stupid, you wouldn't be asking this question).
Reassure them that you would never talk down to them the way they talk to you because you consider them a capable and intelligent person. This might help ease their anxiety and insecurity and, consequently, put an end to their need for such a defense mechanism.
2007-10-19 15:20:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
They do it because they actually think they are better / cooler / smarter than you. Whether that's true or not IT DOESN'T MATTER.
Give people the respect they deserve.
My teacher does it. It happens a lot with teachers, they feel the need to prove themselves right and that's why they don't like the students challenging them.
Try not to appear upset or irritated by their condescending bullshit.
They do it to feed their ego. It makes them feel more than they actually are.
What I do is escalate, I will be subtle but joke around and make them look stupid and they don't like it. If they accuse you agree with it in some way like "yeah, I can be stupid".. Then there's no resistance and you aren't defending your own ego.
My teacher does it, she'll give me crap, try to make me answer a question correctly and if I answer wrongly she'll make it look like I'm stupid, when I know I'm not. I will be a smartass, I wont be apologetic for who I am.. I'll only apologise if I did something wrong and I am truly sorry for it.. Say I called her a ***** directly or something then yeah I would apologise.
Don't take any of it personally, feed it back to them subtly and when they escalate just frame it as if what they are saying is weird.
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You can try confront it with words logically but people only really learn by your own actions.
2007-10-19 21:39:50 · answer #2 · answered by Chris H 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
People that try to take the focus off them self and put others on the defensive so the other person is not able to see the "mean" person's deficits.
2007-10-19 23:34:41 · answer #3 · answered by Freckles... 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People who do this are arrogant,and be rude to you because it makes them feel better about themselves.
Come right out and ask the person why they are being so rude.And if nothing gets resolved,then I would re-evaluate my relationship with this person.
2007-10-19 21:19:11 · answer #4 · answered by Candi Apples 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋