I have been married for four years. me and my husband we had a lot of problems that we couldnt resolve but none of us wanted the divorce. two months ago I found out he is cheating on me. He refused to leave the other woman and to try together again with counceling and all what will take to work the marriage, his excuse was that he knows I will never be able to forgive him. Right now we decided for the divorce as soon as he is baCk in the US. With all our problems in the marriage , I always felt alone and living as single since my husband was away for school most of the year. Since the separation i m thinking about getting back in the game and see if i can meet someone. I know i m not ready for a relationship but will it be bad if i date someone and then see what will happen?
2007-10-19 12:52:14 · 20 answers · asked by babe 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Don't be in a rush to jump back into the game. Take a breather and relax. Maybe do some traveling or take up a hobby.
2007-10-19 12:57:18 · answer #1 · answered by Jason 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's EVER a good idea to start dating when you have just recently gotten out of a relationship. Your head is normally still confused over everything that happened and your heart is in no shape to welcome a new person into it. It's very UNFAIR to the person you might date when you 100% know you aren't ready to give yourself emotionally the way that is kind or true. Now is the time to figure out what YOU truly want and spend some time healing. Don't leave one relationship to just jump into another one. Even if you say "well I'll just tell the guys that I'm not emotionally available and that all I want is fun." Well, that doesn't work either because even when you start out just having fun,you can end up falling for a guy even when you didn't mean to.
2007-10-19 13:10:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was officially divorced last year, but was separated from my husband for over 12 years, We did try to get back together in 2000, it lasted less than a year. I found out during the 12 yrs we were apart, that dating was not the right thing to do since I really never had any me time. So what I'm trying to say is that you need to find out about you and what you are looking for in a relationship what your willing to give, what your willing to put up with, what your will to sacrifice etc, before jumping back out there again. For me I needed to find God first to find out who I was in Him, long story short, I met my current husband even though it's not perfect, I'm willing to work with it.
2007-10-19 13:02:23 · answer #3 · answered by hunt4 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure you should. However, I'd suggest you get skilled first so you don't have to waste your time dating or falling in love with another wrong person again. You want to make another 50/50 guess, and see what will happen?
Abraham Lincoln said that, "If I had eight hours to chop down a tree, I'd spend the first six hours sharpening the ax". Don't rush to date. Start by learning how to make the right dating decisions. There are even new decision-making tools that help you to foresee and manage the risks in today's dating world.
Before you get back in the game, make sure you get an insider's grasp of .. to avoid another mismatch.
2007-10-19 13:41:44 · answer #4 · answered by FLT 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Only you know if you are ready. It sounds like you are still hurting and going out with someone doesn't take care of those feelings. I have been divorced for 6 months and went out with a guy for 3 weeks. I realized I wasn't ready and needed to work on myself before getting into another relationship even if it is casual.
2007-10-19 13:00:38 · answer #5 · answered by Ali Cat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Took me almost 2 years to recover and get things straight in my head so I could start again. You can start the paper work now so it's ready when he gets back unless he wants to fight about something? By Cheating he showed you that the feeling he might have said he had when you got married weren't really that strong. Move-On but slowly for something You Want! to make Your Life Better and for no other reason!
2007-10-19 13:57:55 · answer #6 · answered by sidecar0 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you can go out dating with your circle of friends in the meantime while you're working on your divorce yet.Seeing or dating someone as early as now in public might give you more problems than solutions.
There's a lot of ways to do to get the hurt and loneliness you're having out from your system right now like attend yoga class,do aerobics or any physical exercises,play any sports of your choice,travel out of the country, read more books or talk to any psychologist your parish priest( if you feel like it only),etc.
2007-10-19 13:03:05 · answer #7 · answered by brainwhacker 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wait until after the divorce, don't stoop to his level, leave the marriage knowing u didn't cheat on him. if your not ready for a relationship don't begin one, u will need to go through a grief process first, because this is just like a death of someone u loved, and may still love. his excuse is so lame but don't stoop as low as him, don't cheat as long as your still married.
2007-10-19 13:01:18 · answer #8 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing wrong with dating, your a single women again!! Just let the guy know up front that your not interested in a relationship right at the moment, just so you don't lead him on. Best of Luck to Your New Beginings!!!!!!!
2007-10-19 13:00:59 · answer #9 · answered by 24Special 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its time to do what you need to for yourself. You must have taken a hard hit going through all of this and it would be nice to get pampered and taken out again right? I say if you find a nice guy to go for it! Have fun and enjoy the moment, don't let life pass you by!
2007-10-19 12:59:02 · answer #10 · answered by Nicole 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋