and i liked it....i had always had a thing for him, and i've been with hime twice already, and he wants me to leave my husband for him, but i think i love my husband more, his friend just makes me feel good, but i think im falling in love with him now...what should i do?
2007-10-19 12:29:05 · 29 answers · asked by Mimi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Shoot'in craps here aren't ya! You sound proud of yourself... nice go'in stupid!
2007-10-19 12:37:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Well, this is a delicate matter. Before you confront her, I think you need to ask yourself if you're prepared to loose her as a friend. It's funny how situations like this can turn around and make you look like the bad guy. A similar thing happened to me a few years ago. Just like you now, I didn't know what to do, and even if I should do anything. Finally I confronted my friend, sat down with her and asked her if she realized the possible consequences of what she's doing. If she was someone I just knew I would never even get involved, but we were very close (or so I thought). I was her friend, I didn't want to see her destroy her marriage. But she didn't seem to care much for my concern, said that there is no problem, that her husband will never find out, and so on. So I told her I didn't like her cheating, and getting me involved in her lies (sometimes when she was with the other guy she told her husband she was out with me, and I had to confirm that to him). To make a long story short, we are not friends anymore, and her husband is not talking to me either, even though I never told him anything. I think to support your friend is one thing, but to participate in hurting another friend is something else. At first I felt bad about the whole thing, but now I can see that she wasn't my true friend, she was abusing my friendship, and I only regret not confronting her sooner. Good luck to you whatever you decide.
2016-05-23 21:03:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been doing alot of reading on this subject lately. You need to realize what you are feeling for your husbands so called friend is not love. It's new, it's exciting to have that fresh lust that you are feeling. remember back when you and husband or any new relationship just got started. you most likely felt the way you do when you are with this other guy. I hope at some point you can step back and realize how badly you are hurting your husband and some how make amends. with your husband, Yourself and what ever god you believe in.
2007-10-19 12:59:40 · answer #3 · answered by Papa's Q 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you sound like a teenager. i think this, i think that what were you thinking when you got married in the first place? with his friend! why not just run him over with your car already. what do you want out of this affair are you just in it for the big O. why not give you husband the benefit of the doubt and let him satisfy you the way you need to be satisfied. TALK to your husband, altough i fear you've done the damage and there is no looking back. IF he forgives then you may have a chance to make things right. otherwise your s@*# out of luck and your left with the no good cheating freind.
2007-10-19 13:18:16 · answer #4 · answered by shygirl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure you're falling in love or in lust with him? Think about it. Would you want to be with someone who is encouraging you to carry on an affair and leave your husband of ten years. I think what your experiencing is temporary because at the moment it makes you feel good, a thrill. Now, if you leave your husband for this man, don't you think he could do the same to you if one day he got bored of being with you? How is it that you are in love with your husband more yet you're falling in love with someone else? It sounds like you're bored with your husband and finding temporary excitement from your lover. If you're falling in love with the other, are you ready to face the consequences?
2007-10-19 13:03:32 · answer #5 · answered by onehotmama 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate reading stuff like you're doing. You never know how much your husband will hurt or how he will react when he finds out about this. Trust me ... he will eventually find out. It is only because of family, friends and my faith that I'm still here to respond to your question. I fell to pieces when I found out about my ex cheating on me. Both physically and emotionally. When he finds out whatever reaction he brings your way you have no choice but accept it because you started this whole mess. Did you read andrew23's answer... we read a lot about that sort of reaction in the newspaper over this sort of crap. I bet you never even stopped for a second to think about your husband. Give your head a shake .... you are in for a lot of problems. If you loved your husband you wouldn't have done this. I have a strong feeling you were probably the one that even made the advances toward the other man. I have no tolerance for people like you and neither do a lot of other people.
2007-10-19 13:01:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to find some way to get the satisfaction from your husband that you get from this guy. You don't have to tell the husband that you had the affair but just talk about what you feel is missing in the relationship and hope the friend doesn't say something. It could be that this man is a friend of your husband just to get to you and that makes him the real loser if you can fix the problems in your marriage and have the happiness there that caused you to get involved with this other guy!
2007-10-19 12:45:13 · answer #7 · answered by Al B 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
You better make a decision quick. And if he wants you to leave your husband for him (wow, what a great friend he is to your husband) then he will probably have no problem telling your husband that you have slept with him. This is a mess and you will be the big loser. You must be a very selfish person to hurt your husband like this. Also you have hurt your family and friends and his family and friends. Think about what you have done. I hope there are no kids involved.
2007-10-19 12:38:03 · answer #8 · answered by Julie H 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I know what it is like to fall in love with someone else. Decide who you love more and who makes you feel good and who doesn't. I can't say I cheated on anyone but I can say I know what its like to be in love with two different people at the same time. And if you feel that you aren't happy with your husband then choose the friend. You are the only one who knows what you want. If they are kids in the mix that might make it harder. If you choose your husband then you should come clean and beg for forgiveness. Hope I helped. Good luck.
2007-10-19 12:34:47 · answer #9 · answered by Mommyof2 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You don't mention if you are about to rock some childrens world when your life falls apart...... I hope not . You are playing with fire and going to get burned.. Remember....If the husbands friend will cheat WITH you he will cheat ON you and I hate to see anyone get hurt but YOU are the most likely to get hurt the worst.....
And really your husband deserves better than you THINK you love him...... If you are looking for endorsements for your abominable behavior I think you are coming to the wrong place......GROW UP.....either get out of the marriage or get rid of the b/f YOU can't have both......AS for LOVE I think you are describing LUST>>>>>>
2007-10-19 13:11:45 · answer #10 · answered by Judy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the choice may not be yours when your husband finds out, how sad after ten years u were willing to sacrifice real love for lust, and excitement and something that made u feel good. but real love is not about a feeling but a decision u made to be faithful, no matter what temptation comes your way. hos friend was just using u for what he could get. and when he gets u to leave your marriage he will most likely not want u anymore, after he wins the contest, and gets what he wants, he may kick u to the curb, and all u will have is dishonor.
2007-10-19 12:40:42 · answer #11 · answered by jude 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋