He is being such an a**hole! I have pneumonia and since having a weird episode on thursday the doctor has told me to rest not to cook, clean or chase my kid around. Anyway my husband has been useless in helping me which I expected because he is extremely busy with important stuff right now BUT last night he got home at 8pm and smelled like beer, he said he had been drinking for half an hour only, i asked him to clean the kitchen so I can cook (since he wont cook anyway) and I was starving, he said in a few minutes and an hour and a half later it still wasn't done so we ended up having takeaway at 10pm. I asked him to clean it before he went to bed and he didnt, he stayed up til 2.30am working on his lap top and at 6.30 our daughter woke up, I told him I am not getting up on my own because he wanted to sleep in, so he called me a b*tch and slammed the door. I am so annoyed, am I wrong to be annoyed? I know we are both under pressure, me with my sickness and him with his studying...
2007-10-19 12:06:54 · 17 answers · asked by SmEllY! 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thanks for answers : ) I would like to go and stay with family but unfortunately they are even less caring than my husband!!
2007-10-19 12:44:00 · update #1
soon as ur better get a lawyer an devorce that loser... hes worthless.... make him pay u lotsa child support...
2007-10-19 12:22:34 · answer #1 · answered by Gold Digger 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Your hubby needs to realize that if you don't take care of yourself and get the rest that you need to get well, you could GET WORSE! Sure he is busy with work, doesn't excuse his parental responsibilities. You asked him to clean the kitchen, it didn't get done - my hubby is not allowed to clean the kitchen...I would do it everytime to make sure it is done the right way. For him to call you a b*tch was really immature and uncalled for. I don't care how stressed out anyone gets, name calling and verbal attacks don't help the stressed person or the one getting the insult.
Sit down with your hubby. Let him know that you are doing the best you can to tend the house and your child, but you are sick and he DOES need to HELP around the house. Also let him know that if you don't get the rest you need, you can get worse and then he WILL have to do ALL the housework.
2007-10-19 20:37:22 · answer #2 · answered by eZonis34 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you kidding me? I am so sorry hon..you should be his first priority right now. Pneumonia is a huge deal! He is treating you like you are nothing. I am just appauled by his behavior.
I agree with what your first answerer said...I think it would be great if you would move you and your child out of there right now. He isn't doing you "any" good right now. You need to be taken care of at this point...and he needs to get his priorities in place.
Once you get well, I suggest going to a therapist on your own and discussing the way he has been treating you. They are really good about showing you how to cope..what to say...etc to someone who treats you so terribly. Your self-esteem is probably suffering as a result of his emotional abuse.
Good luck to you and I hope you feel better soon. Call a family member or friend please...I am concerned you will not be able to get well in that environment. A healthy emotional environment is needed to get well. So sorry your husband is so mean and rude.
2007-10-19 19:43:12 · answer #3 · answered by ShineOn 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Wow,sounds like you are going through a very rocky time, but you have to make him realize that what is wrong with you is only temporary and he has to work a little more and do a little more until you can get better. You need to get his affection for you,working for everyone.
My wife cries until i come to my senses,but she fails to communicate after that(which means i have to be a mind reader).That works for us , but may not work for you.Find out what communication works for both of you and come to some sort of sensible agreement.Don't "expect" anything from him.That seems like wishful thinking on your part,You could expect that from a normal man,but I'm afraid yours is a little mentally challenged in the whole "relationship" department.
Good luck and stay focused on what is important(the child and your health).
2007-10-19 19:26:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
My husband works from 2am to 2pm everyday, cooks supper, makes my lunch for work the next day, cleans all the mess after dinner, hell he even matches my socks......sounds to me like you settled for the wrong guy. There are plenty of nice guys out there that would treat you right..I would rather be alone than with someone like him.....I honestly would not tolerate that man for 5 minutes and he would become a bad memory.
2007-10-19 19:58:46 · answer #5 · answered by Radtech1996 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to get counseling or get a divorce if he won't agree to that or change to be more considerate to you. Remember that your daughter is seeing all of this and if she sees you letting this guy walk all over you, she will have no problem doing that in her future relationships. If he has time to stop for a beer instead of doing his "important stuff" he has time to help you when you are sick. Years from now, if you saw your daughter in the position you are in now, what would you tell her to do?
2007-10-19 19:25:35 · answer #6 · answered by Al B 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes, I can see where both of you are under pressure, you with being sick, and him with being a total azzhole! If this is a one time incident, I'd say set him straight and then some and let it go after that. If this is his regular personality, I'd say you need to decide if this is how you want to live for the next 20 years. Because it don't get better with time, it gets worse. Throw him a roll of toilet paper and tell him to wipe his attitude.
2007-10-19 19:20:19 · answer #7 · answered by TwyztedChyck 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You need to take of yourself, not only for you, but for your child. Don't wait for him to clean the kitchen, order take out, or come home in order for you to cook for him. Cook for yourself. Get a friend, neighbor, anyone to bring you groceries or something to eat. Take care of yourself and focus on you and what you need to do to get better. Once you are taking care of yourself, first, you won't focus as much on what he is doing, but on how much better you feel. Sounds like regardless of pressure, there are some issues especially since he isn't willing to do what is necessary to take care of you. I know you said your family isn't supportive but you have gotta ask a friend or someone to help.
2007-10-19 20:48:40 · answer #8 · answered by Ali Cat 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He is way out of line from your description. Aside from everything else he should never call you a B*** unless you had done something really bad. I've been married 26 years and my wife and I have of course had many rough times but I don't think I ever called her a name like that.
2007-10-19 19:25:08 · answer #9 · answered by Duck! 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Good answers above.
I think that, with kindness, you need to tell him how you feel - that you know he's under pressure but you're sick and need to recover and he needs to do more. Don't nag but see if the two of you can come to some sort of understanding.
It may mean you and cassie go to rels for a while - but it's not separation if it's a mutual decision.
Good Luck mate!
2007-10-19 19:39:38 · answer #10 · answered by Joe 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think he is being selfish even if he has a tough job. If he has to work he should explain that to you and not just refuse to help and then get cross with you. It would be good if you could discuss this calmly but I seem to think that wont be possible You should both be supportive of each other and communicate and that is not happening here I hope you can talk and solve this
2007-10-19 19:14:26 · answer #11 · answered by stevie k 1 · 2⤊ 2⤋