when you lose everything that made you who you are?

Question

When things keep getting worse and worse, when all hope seems gone, when everyone one seems to be changing and you seem to be staying exactly the same, when let one mistake take over your life, when you lose everything that made you who you are...... what do u do.......

everything seems so hopeless for me....

Thank you everyone for your responses, I was literally in tears as I read them. Thank you for caring; I know I can get through this now. I'm sorry I didn't add much detail on exactly what I'm going through because it is rather personal and a long story. Word's cannot describe how thankful I am that you all responded. Thank you again for the time you take to help me cope with what I'm going through. The road ahead looks difficult but I won't stop fighting. I only hope now that you get this message. Thank you all again.

I forgot to add one more thing. Please forgive me for not choosing a best answer; I really couldn't choose between all of you, you've all helped me so much in your own way.

Answer 1

if u fall 7 times, stand up 8
sweety if u reach the bottom there's not another way that goin up again.....dont worry things will change....the ball is round it will turn on ur site again

Answer 2

Hi......hope is relative. You could start by hoping you can get
your life together without having to rely on anyone or any
outside influences. Time for a major reinvention. This will
give you some momentum for change. Sounds like the
right time. All that matters is you...not your friends or mistakes you think you've made. You make them so you
can learn not to do it again, so look at it as a positive thing.
You can start by cutting the apron strings to the behavior
that's landed you in this funk. Everything changes...and
it continues to change. One must adapt. You're changing
whether you know it or not. You can't hang on to the past..
you need to dump the negative energy in the nearest
trash bin and look forward. Make a list of all the things
you really really love (not people)...things that lift your
spirit...and only do those things for a week. Only eat
fabulous food, listen to great music, run or work out
or hike or help out some people less fortunate than you.
These are life enhancing things to help you get back on
track. They'll make you feel good about yourself, give
you strength and resolve to move forward. Why don't
you pick a great new town to move to and arrive there
with a new attitude. Or start a cool little business. Or
get a dog that needs a home and walk him/her each
day in the park. People will start to talk to you and your
dog and pretty soon you'll have some new friends that
you share something in common with. I know this all
sounds blase and I'm not diminishing your situation....
I've been there too...these things helped me. I'd like
to give you a big hug right now. Things will get much
better...pull on that inner strength I know is there!!!!!!!

Answer 3

The only thing that ever worked for me regarding the same, I would look inward and towards God. He is always there, he is all forgiving and he will fill you with hope. If you feel that it is too simple an answer, I would say to have a psyche evaluation and see if perhaps you have a chemical imbalance. Don't feel weird about this, I totally beleive that the balance of the right chemicals in the brain are essential to being happy. If you feel akward about something like this, you don't have to tell anyone, it's your business, no one elses. If you have no insurance, go thru the state authorized mental health association, granted they have a very high turn over due to lack of dedicated employees, but at least you can find out if it is a chemical imbalance. Another thing important, find the joy within yourself, without that it's impossible to find your happiness. Remember, you and only you, know your body, if you are not in touch with that, learn how to be. You are the only one to make the decision about feeling good about yourself, if you give that power away to others, you will find nothing but pain and heartache since so many people out there can spot people who are not capable of this simple act and consider it a weakness-so they hover like vultlures looking for their next victim. One other important thing: a good belly laugh is better than most anything. Truth. Laughter is good for the soul. Never give up, you'll find what you are looking for and you will know who you are. Be thankful for everything in your life, look at the mess this world is and others who are more unfortunate, you will see that you actually don't have it so bad.

Answer 4

humans can seem like one effed-up species, huh?!
If you can afford it, go to an animal communications class, and learn. animals are so loving, forgiving, healing. they love every atom in the universe, every soul and song. if you cannot afford classes, go to the library and get some books on animal communications, animal telepathy, etc.
Also, don't give up! While this chapter in your life can be confusing, there will be others that are less so, even enjoyable! Try reading A Million Little Peices by James Frey.
With this question, a lot of the advice given to you will seem pretty mushy. but seriosly. And know that somewhere, there are people who love you. Just look at all these answers. every one was given in love, with love for you and in you.
Try just letting go for a while. take up meditation. get a dog and remember how to talk to it. go to the park or anywhere theres plants and animals, and just breathe deeply and feel the love radiating from all the nonhuman stuff. even rocks have a soul and exude love.
Lastly, love yourself. Forgive yourself, make amends with those you feel you have hurt. Be a blessing to yourself and everyone you come i contact with.

Answer 5

Maria Montessori said, “It is the child who makes the man, and no man exists who was not made by the child he once was.”

It is impossible to lose our experiences. We can lose extremely close relationships, material things, and money. We can lose old habits, favorite songs, and our car that gets us places. We can lose the ability to walk, the ability to resist temptation, and the control over our lives. Everything AROUND us can go spiraling down into a frenzy of chaos and hopelessness.

But we can never lose that which makes us who we are. Sometimes, in the face of a terrible regret, life-changing event, or a sudden realization of entrapment (i.e., drugs, bad relationships, poverty, etc...) the most beneficial action is to revert to the child-like attitude and lose all pride, giving in to help, advice, and even supervision. Then, and only then, will we realize that we are who we are, and that cannot be changed. That we are who we are isn't bad at all, it's actually something that makes us predictable to ourselves.

Maybe you're thinking of giving up, maybe you're thinking you've got no chance, or maybe you're just reaching out for someone that can relate, I'm not sure. But you're obviously crying for help in some way.

I wish I could offer you soothing words of relief or wave a wand and make everything fit your idea of perfection, but whatever is going on for you, always remember- It might get worse before it gets better, but there's always a natural end to your suffering, one way or the other. It's your positive or negative outlook that makes it bearable or not for you, respectively.

Try to give it time, smile in the meanwhile, and take any help you can get from those around you. Never let your pride stop you from being the one who makes it better for yourself. I wish you all the best and offer you this advice from my own personal experience with rough times.

Answer 6

I'm going through almost exactly the same situation. I won't list the gory details, but in the last 7 months, my life has gone horribly bad. I don't know when this condition is going to change but I do know one thing.

It will pass.

If you are going to be defeated by the things that are happening to you at this moment, you will never be happy. If you decide that you have no hope of recovering your life, then you are probably right.
Make every effort to remember that you are still in the fight, and the bell is far from ringing. I know for a fact that it is one of the most difficult things in the world to do, but you MUST not forget that you still have a chance to make things better.
There will always be obstacles in your life, dude. And I know that you don't always feel that you have the strength to keep fighting. God knows I have had down times when I felt totally defeated, but I let the feeling out, got past it, and I have continued to fight.
If you believe in God, trust that he will give you that strenght to go on. Trust in yourself to be a winner despite everything that happens that sets you back. And trust that, in the end, you will be ok.

Edit: And if you've forgotten, it's not the material things in this world that make you who you are.

Answer 7

Without knowing the details, it sounds like you are going through a major, major spiritual growth spurt. Just hang in there buddy, I really feel for you, though it's hard for me to say an adequate prayer for you without knowing anything. You say 'all hope seems gone'. The best I can say to you is hold on to that hope and never let it go. It may seem like your lost in an endless maze, but there is a way out and it lies inside of hope.You'll be a better person having completed the journey. Good Luck. I wish you the best.

Answer 8

first off your focus on the mistake is going to effect everything else no matter what you do. ( The best thing to do is find something good to focus on this will help redirect your future)
Secondly it is impossible to lose who you are because the loss of anything. Your experiences make up who you are and this mistake should be just that a mistake nothing more should come of it. Let it pass.
Thirldy & finally pick up yourself and find something that you use to like or maybe something new, and put your energy into that. it will give you prupose and you feel the problems fade into the past.

Answer 9

You know in this moment I feel the same way. I do not know your age or circumstances but for me I have had to reinvent my self over and over again. I do not have the answer for you but what I do know is that I would not trade places with anyone for I know what I have been through and learned and I do not know their truth. I have to remind myself every moment that I am extrememly lucky to live in the usa, to have a job, car, food and so many everyday things. Sometimes that is enough and sometimes not.Today has been sad for me yet I know that I create both sad and happy. But somedays that is no comfort either.Reinventing takes time and maybe we are both just in a slump between creations.Peace

Answer 10

Confide in a trusted friend. It make any situation a thousand times better. Watch shows and movies you love, even if you'd be ashamed to admit that you like them. Just breathe. Do all the things you (used) to love to do. And listen to that first impulse about something, because that feeling will let you know who you are. Never give up hope. There is always hope. Watch a sunrise and you'll see what I mean.

Answer 11

Make a plan for yourself, it might be to move away and start again...it could be anything. And remind yourself that at least you have that, you have a choice and you are in control of your life and you! Make a plan to save up and have a holiday, because while your doing that alot of things could happen to you and hopefully they will be positive. Just keep plodding through and have a plan for you. good luck