My hubbie is about to go into hospital for a double heart bypass, he has been married before and two of his stepkids still live with their mum. She will not let them visit him as it is too far to travel on the coach(they are 15 and 17) but I want them to see him beofre his operation. What I want to know is, would it be out of order of me to send her a letter explaining all this. We have the youngest child (12) living with us and my hubbie is not allowed to drive so we cannot drive to take her to visit her mum and bring the others back. Advice please
2007-10-19 11:48:32 · 11 answers · asked by dixidan_2000 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I can't drive by the way
2007-10-19 11:56:50 · update #1
You sound like a very caring step-mom! At aged 15 and 17, these kids can most certainly travel on their own, even by bus. At age 12 , by air or coach, they can travel unaccompanied across the country! As their youngest still lives with you, why not let the child call her mom and ask her to send out the siblings? You should write a letter as well, though, and express your wishes to have the kids there to reassure their stepdad vefore his surgery. Tell her the fares will be paid and that you will have someone meet their bus and perhaps even tell you'll send a cellphone for them to keep in constant communication during the trip if she doesn't trust them. Your man is a good dad if he has custody of the youngest so there's no reason for her not to allow 15 and 17 year olds to come and visit. Actually, the kids are old enough to demand permission to go and see their dad!
2007-10-19 12:06:27 · answer #1 · answered by Wifeforlife 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is something missing here on the ex's side of things.It has to do with"too far to travel".If that's the case,then that's an excuse,not a fair answer for the kids.If the 2 kids agree with mom and are genuinely scared to travel that far alone,than she might have a point.If there is a way to talk to the kids on the phone alone, you might get an answer that is more closer to the truth.Hopefully she is either thinking of their safety and sanity and not using them as a vindictive gesture.He doesn't need this right now. You should do all you can without causing a confrontation for his sake. Try and convince her that she should travel with the kids and you will pay for the travel tickets,that way she wont have an excuse unless she cant get time off from her work.If she could do this,It might be better for all involved.
2007-10-19 12:08:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I need help...Please! My partner of 15 yrs., the only man that I ever loved has left me for a Thai lady who kept pursuing him at his job, she had been told by him as well as others that he had a wife and family (3 small kids - one a baby of 7 mos.) he is an introvert me the opposite. I know that he still loves me, and I can't get this pain to go away...the grief is overwhelming me and usually I am a very strong person. I feel desperate and can't stop this pain from eating me away inside. I know this isn't postpartum depression just a really bad case of heartbreak. I would drop everything and everyone to have him back...PLEASE HELP ME!
2016-05-23 20:50:50 · answer #3 · answered by kristen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to hear that your husband is so ill. You have plenty of stress at the moment. I wonder if you could ask a friend to help you drive out and collect the children. I am sure if I was asked by one of my mates, I would be only too happy to help. If you could sort something out like this, then you could write to the children's mother and ask if they could be collected and taken back. Its vitally important the children see their dad so any decent friend would find it hard to say no to such an easy request to drive you there and back. Good luck and I hope all goes well.
2007-10-19 12:03:58 · answer #4 · answered by AUNTY EM 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well I think at 15 and 17 they are old enough, can you hire a car to pick them up and drive them. How far are we talking, in miles or hours away?
2007-10-19 11:57:18 · answer #5 · answered by cmrwash 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not to sound harsh but if you have a husband that is going in for double bypass why on earth can you not drive???? Go get your license and take care of things.
2007-10-19 12:00:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i'd definitely write a letter. make it as nice and courteous as possible. include who's paying for transportation, times they will be out there, when they will be returned, what are the plans while they are visiting, addresses, phone numbers, hospital your hubby will be at...the date and time of the operation.
2007-10-19 11:53:46 · answer #7 · answered by Isabella S 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
How does your Hubbie feel about this? If he wants to see them he should write the letter...
2007-10-19 11:58:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is not out of line to send a letter. Just do not forget to get your hopes up.
Can you drive?
Good luck.
2007-10-19 11:52:59 · answer #9 · answered by box of rain 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
is it not better to write to their mother and the oldest, or just even the oldest.... is it not possable that you or someone else could go and collect them and bring them back,,afterall she may not have the money to pay and doesnt want to say...hope things turn out ..
2007-10-19 11:59:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋