Do you continue a relationship with a married man when he has not committed to a divorce or separation.?

Question

Do you continue a relationship with a married man when he has not committed to a divorce or separation. He is waiting on a 16 year old daughter to turn 18. Wife still lives in house and sleeps in guest room.Have been involved with this man for almose a year and we have grown very close though are challenged with the amount of quality time we spend together.

Answer 1

Wake up and smell the coffee.

Answer 2

The question should be, do I want him to leave his wife for me? If he dose, the question will always be, " who will he leave me for?"
I would stop seeing him, well I would have never started seeing him in the first place.
You need to stop seeing him, if and when he divorces his wife, he will need half as much time as he was married or in the relationship to truely get over it. After that much time has passed and you still have feelings for him then you can start a relationship with him.
If he is hiding your relationship from his wife, who is sleeping in the guest room, then she's aware that they are headed to divorce, and so she won't mind that he's having an affair, so quality time should not be an issue, he should be free to come and go as he pleases, he can't believe a 16 year old is happier with her parents prolonged unhappiness that they are together only because of her.
You should ask him if you can ask his wife if its ok that you and he are haveing an affair, see what he says. Still don't believe that she's unaware that he's haveing an affair's most likely reason she sleeps in the guest room, fearful she will catch a STD.
Maybe its you that has trouble with commitment, or self-esteem issues, and using him being married as a excuse not to have a real relationship, or if you can steal him away from his overbearing, awful shew of a wife that makes you better than her, and the winner..............no you lose........she will always be the mother of his children........and through that they are committed for life.
So far it seems that you are not even close to being better than his wife.........besides why would he want you? You have little moral fiber, you sleep with married men.

Answer 3

No - I don't continue in a relationship with a married man! I wouldn't knowingly go into a relationship with a married man, but that is beside the point!!

If this man loved you, he would leave his wife!! I understand how hard it is to leave when there are children involved, but if he had found true love, he wouldn't be willing to risk losing you by staying!!!

I know this is hard! You are in love with him and I'm sure he is making all kinds of promises to you. Unfortunately he is not is any position to fulfill any of those promises! So, guess what.....YOU are the one who ends up hurt! He will stay with his wife and go about his life and you will be left, after three years, to try to get over all the empty promises!! Aren't you too good for that??

My suggestion.....break it off with him! Tell him that you love him and you want to be with him, but you CAN'T continue to do that while he is married. Let him know that he can call you when he gets the divorce and, if you're still available, the two of you can try again! Then, move on with your life and learn from this experience! I wish you luck!!

Answer 4

You should of never started the relationship in the first place. I can't believe that women backstab other women by sleeping with there husbands. You don't even know if this guy is telling you the truth about his wife sleeping in the guest room. Also if he is cheating on his wife, don't you think that when the two of you get together that he will cheat on you too. Women like you give other women a bad name. I am just shocked that you don't have the respect for marriage to stay out of a married man's pants. Granted he is to blame too.

Answer 5

I would definitely stay with him. He loves you more than anything in the world, he is only trying to do the right thing as far as his children go. He is 100% committed to you in his heart and wants no other. If he is the one man out there for you and you leave, you will throw away a lifetime of happiness. Every relationship has good times and bad times, but if you two work together, work on a schedule to see each other, you will see the fruits of your labor at the end of this journey.
p.s. I do truly love you and am lost without you. You are the only person in the world that has ever made me feel complete.

Answer 6

You're challenged with a lot more than the amount of time you spend with him. Do you not understand that he is MARRIED and cheating on his wife. Sure she sleeps in the guest room. Of course he will leave her in two years. Sure. Sure.
And if he does leave her, then what? You are expecting to marry a man you know will cheat on his wife, ignore his wedding vows??? Is that all you are worth? Are you willing to be cheated on when he gets tired of you? I'll bet if you really open your eyes and turn on your brain, you'll get out of this mess and find a man who won't have anyone waiting at home for him after his "quality time" with you. Listen to yourself. Listen to what you are setting yourself up for. Think about it. Then run, run, run!!!

Answer 7

Honey, you need to re-evaluate this relationship. You're close, but I doubt he is telling you the whole truth. The wife conveniently sleeps in the guest bedroom.....isn't it usually the husband that leaves the bedroom and goes elsewhere. Anyway, I think you are wasting your time on a relationship that may never really develop with this man. If he is asking you to wait or expecting you to, you need to let him know that while you have feelings for him, you're not going to sit around forever. Go out, have fun and let him know that you're not a kept woman. Who knows, he might finally get rid of her...but somehow I doubt it.

Answer 8

Let's see. A married man has convinced you to stay with him even though he has no intentions of divorcing his wife, and you're not SURE if you should dump his azz?
Come on, his daughter is 16 - she's not an idiot. If mommy and daddy were REALLY sleeping in separate bedrooms, she'd probably already asked when they're getting divorced.
He's using you. Find someone who is FREE to be with you.

Answer 9

Girl, I know excatly were your are coming from, I have been in
this situation for a little over 2 yrs-mine promises to divorce
but no divorce yet- and everyone tells me am stupid- truth I
know this man loves me and I love him, but will he ever divorce- I dont know- relationships are complicated- and am not stupid enough not to know that he still feel something for her- just not in love with her- but at are age 44-53 its hard to start all over- you either have to accept the situation for what it is- or go thru the hurt and move on.

Answer 10

When you go into it you have to know you're the mistress, and that's it. It's just a sex thing and some fun hang out time. You should never ask him to leave his wife, if anything you should tell him if he ever leaves he can't see you anymore and on a finer point.......what the hell are you doing in a relationship with a married man? You're a home wrecking Hoe!!!!!!

Answer 11

Then she'll go off to college and he won't leave then cause he'll be worried about the tuition, then this then that. All the while, you're hanging in there like a fool while he's got his family and a piece of azz (that;'s you) on the side. If you wish to be the "other woman" that's fine, but you need to be content with the leftovers from his real family.