We've been friends since we were fourteen. She has two children both under the age of two, and her boyfriend "pushes her around" she's described the results as making her head blead and breaking her elbow. The only negative thing she says about him is that he is 'immature' because he will leave her and the kids. We've been long distance friends for many years and now we live two states appart. She has low self esteem, and i'm worried about her. How can i communicate this when the place where she's living (we both grew up in the same place) is rampant where wife-beating is an every-day thing, and where drunken fights end up causing murders every saturday night?
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2007-10-19 08:46:32 · 9 answers · asked by justkiddingu 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
As much as i want to, we live two states away. I'm nine months pregnant, and my husband is working hard to support just the two of us. I don't know how it would work with two babies, one newborn on the way, and a cyco boyfriend on the loose....
2007-10-19 08:52:45 · update #1
I don't have the money or means to bring her to live with us. Although i wish i could.
2007-10-19 08:53:10 · update #2
This is a serious situation.
If there is a shelter for women near your friend she needs to go there with her kids. Next she needs to file charges so there is documentation and the boyfriend can't claim your friend is "kidnapping" her own kids. There should be a social worker at a shelter that can help your friend and know much more than I know about getting out of this situation.
Are you able to get your friend and her kids and bring them back to your place? This would be a huge commitment on your part, but your friend and kids need to be removed from that situation. These situations never get better, they only get worse. Like you said, drunken arguments end up with people getting killed.
Check the link for shelters in your friend's area. Your friend and her kids need to get out.
I have no respect for a man that treats his wife/girl friend like that.
I wish I could help you and your friend more. Best of luck to both of you.
2007-10-19 09:13:23 · answer #1 · answered by Charon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are her parents still living where she does? Is there a woman's shelter nearby her? If there is, get a hold of them and let them know what is going on, they will guide you from there. She needs to take the initiative to leave. Is it better for her to stay there and let her kids see the abuse and her having to live it, and possibly get killed in one of his rages? If she calls you after a beating, and has any marks, you can call the police, tell them she's afraid and ask them to go to her. If nothing else the kids will be taken out of there and she will have no choice but to leave to get them back.
2007-10-19 08:58:53 · answer #2 · answered by kelly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The time for "SAYING" something is past. It is now time for you to act. Contact her priest/reverend, her parents, any family members that live near her. Call the police in her area and inform them of what is going on.
It is important to protect her children because she obviously is not doing so. So, you must call Childrens Services and report that they are living in an unsafe enviornment.
The home needs to be evaluated to see if it is safe for te children.
Don't feel guilty about this. She is not thinking clearly and if she was, she would appreciate it.
It is better for her to hate you then to have a dead woman and kids that you COULD have helped.
2007-10-19 08:52:47 · answer #3 · answered by Libby 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do you ever have an danger to talk with the spouse? As others have stated, she will in all probability make up a narrative because of the fact she's embarassed & ashamed that he's doing this to her. Ask her what befell, and if she says "I fell down the stairs via accident i'm so clumsy", possibly you need to respond via asserting "no person has the splendid to hit you. in case you ever choose something you're able to provide me a decision" and then in simple terms wait and notice if she opens as much as you. If she would not you do no longer stress the difficulty. the two way, she would know which you're attentive to her "secret" and the door is open for her to touch you if she needs help. As for the husband, i do no longer propose beating him as others have... possibly you are able to attempt to impression him next time he makes a sort of comments. while he says "she desires to renowned her place", you need to ask him "what do you propose via that?" and thoroughly play stupid - relatively act such as you do no longer know what he potential. he gets the decide on the flow which you do no longer share his misogynistic perspectives.
2016-10-04 04:23:52 · answer #4 · answered by stepp 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call her local police department and ask. They may say they can't do anything since you're not a direct witness, your report would be a third party report.
Until she leaves this idiot, there's not a lot you can do. Would it be an option for you to go get her and the kids?
2007-10-19 08:50:57 · answer #5 · answered by Phurface 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well dear if it was me I would go get her and the kids and bring them there to live with me and if he ever came near them again I would make sure I had a wicked dog that would chew him a new one and then I would have her get a restraining order and then change my phone number ,help her get a job and let her save some money so she can get on her feet again without him and get a divorce . i wish you and her luck . be carefull and start packing .
2007-10-19 08:50:59 · answer #6 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You can't do anything about a woman who allows a man to physically abuse her over and over, probably with the kids around. If I were you, I would cut off all communication with her. Jeesh! That's depressing. Tell her to have him arrested before he kills her, then block her out. It's time you moved on.
2007-10-19 08:53:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
maybe better to ring the cops where she lives and talk to someone there and ask her why shesstays with the moron.
apart from that you will just have to listen to her stories until he finally kills her .
2007-10-19 09:12:50 · answer #8 · answered by me m 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can she come and stay with you?
2007-10-19 08:51:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋