Am I being too sensitive? I'm getting fed up.?

Question

I just wanted to see what others opinions are as far as my situation. My husband seems lately like he's being sort of a jerk. I mean really. And I'm 8 1/2 months pregnant with our second child. Today, before he left for work, the subject of my baby shower comes up and out of the blue he says he's not going. This makes me very upset. He makes no sense!! I asked him why not... he just says, it's a baby shower. However, the thing of it is that he actually went to my daughters baby shower 4 years ago and all my brothers and step-dad were there then too and they're gonna be there again this time and I'm sure some of the wives may have their husbands/boyfriends. What I don't get is if he went before, why can't he go this time? He certainly won't be the only man there. This hurts my feelings really bad and I cried after he left. He asked me in a angry tone, Do I HAVE to go... stressing the word HAVE. I'm like no, I won't force you. Why is he being like this?? Anyone have any suggestions?

I also wanted to add that I'm not really into showers or things of that sort either, so it's kinda like torture for me too, having to sit in front of everyone and open gifts, but I feel like if he were by my side, it would make it easier for me. Every baby shower I've been to lately, the husband and other males were there. Something called a 'Jack N Jill' shower which is becoming the norm now for men to be at showers, where in the past, it was really only a -girls only- type thing. I guess it's just upsetting me that he can't swallow his pride and just do this for me, be there to support me. But you're right, I'm not going to force him and I don't want him to be unhappy, but I don't think he's considering my feelings here either. I mean geez, all he has to do is sit there and eat cheese crackers and cake and help load the stuff in the car afterwards, but then again I realize that it prob. has alot to do with my hormones and I'll probably look back at this after I give birth and laugh.

Answer 1

oh my gosh girl I am going through the same thing you are right now. not exactly with a baby shower though, just in general. I am surprised more couples don't split up when they're pregnant.

I would want him to go too. I don't think that's out of line. But if you're like me, you equate him not going to not being 'involved' in your pregnancy and you also want to feel that 'togetherness' that you felt with the first shower. I completely understand.

I hope things get better for you. Just remember - he could definetely do worse things than not go to the baby shower.

luv :)

Answer 2

I had one shower in my life and HATED it! I was annoyed just about the whole time (didn't care too much for half the people who showed up, the ordeal lasted way longer than it should have, they insisted on posing for every single gift I opened, I couldn't stand all the "advice" I was getting!). (bridal shower) Needless to say, I didn't go to the baby shower (I kept telling them not to throw me one!) and most everyone took back their gifts because I didn't show up. BUT, they dropped by AFTER the baby was born with a gift and a short personal visit that meant so much more than a stupid party!

I don't go to anybody elses showers either.

The great thing about being pregnant is you can always blame an illness to get out of going yourself. I'm guessing you don't want to upset anyone and you kind of need (or want) some (or all) the gifts so you'll probably go anyways. I wouldn't force your hubby if I were you. It's just going to be an argument that really is all over something so trivial.

Is it really that big of a deal to you? If it is, explain to your husband how important it is he be there to hold your hand. You could always let him leave early!

Answer 3

First of all, congrats on the upcoming baby! I can fully understand how disappointed you are that your hubby does not want to go to the baby shower, yet I cannot understand why. Do you think he is feeling a little jealous from all the attention portrayed on you and the baby? Or he just might think it is boring. Most times at a baby shower the men go into another room and watch some sports on tv anyway. Sad that he does not share in this event with you. But if you must, just go without him and have a great time.

Answer 4

Tell him there's going to be beer and burgers, a cook out sort of thing. I never went to baby showers. I'm not sure if that's more common now days or not. It's always been a girl thing. Maybe the he went the first time because you acted the same way and he didn't have the balls to stand up to you. If he doesn't want to go, why force him, he's not gonna be happy, and you know how us men act when we're not happy and force to do something, I say cut your losses go without him. Good Luck

Answer 5

I think he could possibly being a big jerk...only in the fact that he could go and be a man about it.
However, it is a baby shower. Not the manliness of places. And I know how being 8 months pregnant feels....and I remember taking everything the wrong way and being upset over it.
Just calm down. Enjoy your shower...enjoy the baby's things. Let him go do what he needs to do for that day--he'll feel better about it and will make for a better night!

Answer 6

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Answer 7

Yes you are being over-sensitive. Be sure to laugh in the future.

I hate showers too, they stink. I don't blame him for not wanting to go. I have heard of Jack 'n' Jills, but they aren't done where I live.

As long as he pitches in a lot with the future 2 kids, give him a pass on the shower.

Answer 8

I think you are being too sensitive. Maybe he is just overloaded with "baby this and baby that" that he doesn't feel like participating in the shower. He went to the last one and he saw that it is mostly woman stuff, and not really fun for men. They dont enjoy that kind of thing like we do. Ease up on him and let him do his thing. He will continue to be a good father to this child, just let him relax for a while.

Answer 9

You are being overly sensitive.

He already went to the first one and now knows that it's a woman thing. He's a man, not a chick and he has no bussiness on a hen meeting.

Do not be hormonal, your are making a bid issue out of nothing and taking things personal. Relax. I wouldn't want my husband in the baby shower even if he wanted to come.

Good luck

Answer 10

I think you are pregnant and over reacting. Don't force him to go. My husband didn't go to my baby shower. Also, it is your second child..... so the shower is even less of a big deal than the first one.
I am sure your husband is a great husband in otherways, so let it go on this a focus on other things he does well.