Men: Do you care whether or not your child is taken care in a daycare?

Question

Would you prefer your child (even if you don't have one currently) be taken care by your wife or by daycare?

Rio: I respectfully disagree.

A much-anticipated report from the largest and longest-running study of American child care has found that keeping a preschooler in a day-care center for a year or more increased the likelihood that the child would become disruptive in class--and that the effect persisted through 6th grade.

...the finding held up regardless of the child's sex or family income, and regardless of the quality of the day-care center. With (many) preschoolers attending day care, the increased disruptiveness very likely contributes to the load on teachers who must manage large classrooms, the authors argue.

The research, ... part of the federally financed Study of Early Child Care and Youth Development... (was) financed by the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development (NIH)...

Children in full-time nursery care are more likely to display antisocial tendencies and anxiety than those who stay at home or attend part-time, a government study has found.

(The research, from the University of Oxford and the Institute for Fiscal Studies) found that toddlers spending more than seven hours a day in daycare were more prone to be bossy, tease other children, stamp their feet, obstruct other playmates and get anxious when toys or refreshments were being handed round.

There has been a long line of reports suggesting that children who spend a long time in daycare are more likely to show behavioural problems.
...Children who were in care for 30 hours a week or more were more likely to exhibit the following behaviour:
Antisocial
- Tease other children and call them names
- Prevent other children carrying out routines
- Be bossy and need their own way
Worried or upset
- Frown, shrug shoulders, pout, stamp their feet when given an idea
- Be worried about not getting enough attention
- Be anxious about not getting enough access to toys or food and drink

Answer 1

Some years ago, before our first was born, my wife and I decided that WE wanted to raise our children. So when our first came along she quit working a teacher and became a (shudder) housewife. I know, I know, there a those that will think less of her for forsaking her career, and believe I subjugated her. B_S! She made her own decision. We did without a lot of trappings and great vacations and stuff. But we managed to raise 3 exceptional children. All read before kindergarten. All had good social skills. And as an indicator of health, none had a single ear infection.
Do I believe they fared better because they didn't spend those early years in daycare? OH HELL, YES! By comparison of their peers who did, much better.
Why? Because they were taken care of by one who knew them and loved them. I really feel that placing kids in institutional settings too early causes school burn out. I think insufficient maternal bonding and care contributes to asocial and anti-social behaviors. Am I a sociologist, psychologist, or teacher, no; but I really doubt the unbiased-ness of their studies.

Answer 2

You say that the children who spend a lot of time in daycare display antisocial behaviors but what about those who never went to day care but instead spent the first five years of their lives at home? Do you really think they have an easy time adjusting to kindergarten where they are away from home for much of the day? Many of these children have never really been away from their mothers and have limited exposure to other children. They don't have an easy time. Many kindergarten teachers will say that they can immediately spot which child spent time in daycare and which one didn't. Those who were in daycare are used to being away from their mothers and can deal with a regimented daily schedule. As a result, they are less likely to be disruptive in class. Some stay-at-home mothers will even put their children in daycare for a few hours a week because they realize that their children need to adjust to situations where they aren't around their mothers all day and how to follow rules set by other adults. They also need to learn how to get along with other children who aren't necessarily their friends.

Answer 3

First, the term "feminist" has been used so broadly for the last 40 years that it no longer has any actual meaning of it's own, many people's definition is in direct contradiction to many others, so being "anti-feminist" hasn't any clear meaning either. Both are purely subjective on the part of any given individual. That said, you're rhetoric reflects a very sexist attitude on your own part. You speak of domestic violence and rape as being "women's issues", yet males, especially male children, are just as subject to such things as are women, yet you seem to dismiss those in the same way as you would criticize in others. Rape is a hideous crime no matter the victim's gender, I doubt any moral person would dispute that, but what about the falsely accused? Many self-styled feminists argue that men should be condemned out of hand on any woman's unsupported word, but how is it wrong to condemn a woman who makes false accusations, or too seek justice and exoneration for the male victims of their lies? Why do you believe that the gender of a suffering and innocent victim should take precedence over righting the wrong that was done? It's attitudes like that which cause many people, both male and female, to style themselves as anti-feminist.

Answer 4

There are more options than daycare. I myself went to after school activities. The nearby performing arts center had great programs for kids. They had a shuttle that picked the kids up from school, so while my mom was at work I was learning ballet, ballroom, acting, and gymnastics. I thought it was great.

My bf's son stays at a daycare offered through his school. He seems to have a great time. He likes it because he gets extra playtime with his closest friends. On Sunday, when my bf works and daycare isn't open, he has a nanny who he's become very attached to who takes him to the zoo, or a museum. He had some difficulty with social situations when he was younger, and going to a good daycare seems to have really helped him learn how to interact and play with other kids.

I personally think it's good for kids to spend some time adapting to situations outside of the home, or developing new interests, or (when they're older) learning to take care of themselves for an hour or two before the parents get home.

Answer 5

My husband and I worked opposite shifts. It was rare that my children were in day care. When they were they were in a work place facility that I visited frequently or Montessori Preschool.
One would think with the great number of working women that days cares would be better regulated through the government. If more women were in power I am sure that imbalance would be corrected.
I think there are a large number of very reputable caregivers.
Please tell me why you seem to think it is ok to put elderly people into nursing homes when they could be living at home being cared for by you and your husband. I have looked after my elderly parent twenty four seven for years. To me it is an honour.
There were times when there was no choice but daycare and since my children had all grown to enjoy living indoor and eating I thought it was best to take the chance.
Children growing up in the forest have a chance of developing feral habits. I preferred them to be supervised that to be rummaging through peoples picnic baskets and sleeping in trees.

Answer 6

Depends. Very young children benefit greatly from being with their mom. I know not everyone can afford to stay home, but if you can somehow manage it for the first year it would make a big difference to your baby. After that, day care is fine.

Answer 7

If you find a reputable day care with people that are committed to top notch care there is not reason that both parents shouldn't be able to pursue their careers.
How would you feel if you husbands told you to find a job he was going to stay home? Would that be a good role model for you son?
You don't need to defend your postions feminists think women should have choices and you made yours. Now leave those women alone and stop baiting them.

Answer 8

Yes. My wife and I managed to raise our children without having to place them in daycare. We were fortunate. Not everyone can be so lucky.

While you're thinking about this issue, why not ask yourself, "Would you prefer your child ... to be taken care of by your husband or by daycare?"

Answer 9

trekkie, it is very easy to delegate the child care duties to your wife. Listen, if i had the choice between day care and my husband, i will prefer my husband to raise our kids. But that's where the problem lies because if you really want your children home raised then you would be willing to do it yourself not sign up someone else for it. Yes i said that. Fathers forget that they are parents too. somewhere between the sperm leaving their ......... and the child being born, they seem to gain a new mindset that says, it belongs to my wife till it can fend for itself.

Answer 10

Just so you know, not all children who have both parents working at in day care, many of them aren't. There are ways to work around that.