What can I do about this deadbeat dad?

Question

Need some advice my 3 year old daughter father is basically a deadbeat he sems to find it so easy to go for months without calling or interacting with her. He also works and does not help me finacially. I dont call him or ask for anything. I just sit back and see the ******* he is. He basically puts everybody and everything before his own child. He now uses me as an excuse because he does not like me and we have argued. Im trying to put aside my OWN dislike for him for the sake of my daughter. I gave him chances even after he messed up now she knows who he is and asks about him all the time. Each day goes by he still doesnt contact her. If I take him for child support I bet he will want to see her THEN just because he has to pay money! I wonder if its even worth it just to get a few dollars a month he doesnt love her the way a father should I admit it hurts,even stresses me out. He is basically using me as the excuse of why he cant deal with his daughter. What more can i possibly do?

Answer 1

as sad as this may sound you can not force him to be a dad. However, do not fool yourself he needs to pay up. It is hard out here now a days and you need all the support you can get, which inculdes pay checks..... And for your daughter she deserves better then a dead beat dad. But that is her dad, so please do not say bad things around her about her dad. Let her make her own choice about him when she able to. And I truly understand my daughter is four and all she got from her daddy was some diapers....but I truly understand how you feel.

Answer 2

Ya know? He was that way before you married him... he was, let's face it, inadequately parented.... he likely had no involved dad in his life, so he patterns his behavior after the only behavior he knows..... his own family.

He really has no idea that that child is 50% his.... nor does he even care.. (he was just the sperm donor). And quite frankly, hope you have a good job to support the two of you, because there really is nothing you can do. He is what he is. Just pity the next lady who thinks she can change this guy. Men like this are rarely involved in their children much past the age of 2 or 3. That is why so many of our young kids have no father in the house.... they themselves had no father in the house (Read Bill Cosby's latest book, "Come On, People".)

Probably your best psychological defense is just to regard the guy as dead, and go on with your life.

Psssst. And if you marry again, check out the guy's background before you have any of HIS kids. He may have had inadequate parenting as well.....

Answer 3

My ex husband was also a deadbeat dad. However, I always out that aside and let him see his our son because it is important for the development of a child to know both of their parents. Even if the courts give him more visitation time, so he pays less support, if he isn't seeing her now, what makes you think if he is granted visitation that he woud even take it. Then you go back to the courts, tell them that he is not seeing her when he is suppose to and to modify the child support. The courts will attach his wages and it will follow him everywhere he goes.

Answer 4

First of all, If he REALLY cared about his daughter, he would've been around everyday and being a dad to his daughter. Toughen up and get that child support. If he doesn't come around, then it will eventually be easier than him coming around every six months or so. Then you and your daughter can get on with your life. You need to be the rock for your daughter....protect her and her feelings. You can't allow this any longer. The same with you too. Don't teach your daughter that this kind of father is acceptable.
Good luck!

Answer 5

You need to go to the state and get his wages garnished. No matter if he is a good dad or not he is still responsible for that child and he needs to step up to the plate. Chances are that he is always going to be a dead beat dad and your child will soon figure this out but in the meantime there is no reason you should not be getting child support from him. Make sure you go to the state and get this taken care of for your child

Answer 6

Some people will just sit back and allow the world around them to go on as if they don't exist and then complain about it.

You want something done? Get it done!

You want him to help pay for your child, go to court and get child support established.

You can't FORCE him to visit your child but you can make it easy for him if he does want to.

It's his problem whatever issues he has with your child that prevents him from visiting. The best you can do is make visits available. THEN, you can sit back and he will do what he will do. But, at least you will know that you did your part.

Answer 7

You can stop worrying about this, because stressing yourself out and giving yourself high blood pressure over what he does or does not do, isn't healthy.

If he doesn't pay support or help with things for the child, he's useless anyway.

Your daughter might be asking about him, but she's only three years old... she doesn't need him either.

take care of you and your daughter... i'm sure you are a good mom.

Answer 8

If there is not a court order of support then he doesn't HAVE to help yu finanically. He doesn't HAVE call her or interact with her if there is no order of visitation. What more you can do is to do what NEEDS to be done or quit whining because you make the CHOICE not to. Stop blaming HIM for the choices that YOU make.

Answer 9

i imagine issues are replacing - yet i'm no longer smooth with the alterations. it style of feels to me that toddlers extremely are bieng torn in 2. I remember at the same time as my dad walked out at the same time as i become ten - how poor we were - we did no longer have sufficient to devour. My mom worked and we were left on our personal because she couldn't manage to pay for chlldcare. And an same element got here about at the same time as my husband walked out - and trust me, no individual except my husband had any selection in any remember. He in basic terms refused to "play living house" anymore, resigned from his interest and went to stay consisting of his lady friend. i become stuck with 2 toddlers and lived some distance far flung from an employment opportunities. And my husband did not opt for the toddlers. that is the point - you're saying women individuals dictate the words. maximum unmarried mum and dad i comprehend are unmarried mum and dad with the aid of moves of the guy. women individuals are handicapped by technique of their childcare preparations and conflict to address jobs, providing parental help, etc etc. i comprehend i might want to really stay with my ex husband than provide up my toddlers - it would not even come into the equation. i will by no skill provide up my toddlers. by no skill. perchance that is time to remove the "no fault" divorce - the fellow who breaks up the marriage does no longer get custody of the toddlers. the base line is that that is the toddlers who ought to dictate the words - they opt for to be offered for and their time-honored of living should be a similar as before the marriage chop up up. There are spiteful women individuals, and trust me, there are spiteful adult adult males.

Answer 10

first thing first, i wouldn't worry about him seeing her. GET YOUR MONEY. Where are you located? Have you heard about OCSE? i am in family court alot making sure my assshole pays child support. they use that as an excuse. my thing is when she needs and he is playing games she is the one that hurts. email me direct. and i can get you some info. sick of these men already!