My son is 6 years old and his mother and I have not been together for 41/2 to 5 years. We were never married and have never went to court. Right now everything is fine. I pick my son up every chance i get. Also, I pay for nearly everything. Does she have the ability to take me to court for back child support? Am I able to protect myself in any way?
2007-10-19 07:23:05 · 31 answers · asked by bob c 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I should of stated...I get my son 4 days one week and 5 the next. Also she is currently married and has been for 3 years . I'm just worried the more debt they take on(because of my income) she would probably get a healthy amount from me.
Thank You for all the responses
2007-10-19 08:01:20 · update #1
Do you pay for "nearly everything" only when he's with you--you know, only those times that "you get the chance" to see him?
Gee, what a dad!
Oh, please! Of course, she can, and I hope she does.
2007-10-19 07:26:50 · answer #1 · answered by DJ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, she can take you to court. Really the only way to protect yourself is to get a child support order. It can be for a $1 a month, but as long as you both agree to it, then it shouldn't be a problem. If you get along fairly well, which it seems like you do from your post, you didn't mention otherwise, you may mention in the order that back child support is waived. All states are different and a lawyers advice is always best, rather than strangers on yahoo answers.
2007-10-19 14:32:30 · answer #2 · answered by mystry72 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, the court system is sometimes brutal to the parent paying the support directly to another parent. Because of a lot of "he said/she said" crap the courts run through their docket on a daily basis, the courts have even set up it up to where the monies go to the court [or extension of the court] and the monies disbursed to the custodial parent directly from the court. That way they, along with the paying parent, are protected against crowding the court's dockets with child support issues.
Often times too, monies and purchases that are directly given to the custodial parent are considered "gifts". If I were you, I would have an attorney draw something up to protect you and your rights. I think it's great that the two of you have gotten along so well without using the system, but, if anything changes in your amicable relationship... poop could definitely hit the fan for you.
2007-10-19 14:40:59 · answer #3 · answered by dark eyes 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good man u are.Depending on what state you live in, yes, unfortunately she can try and get back child support. You need to keep every document and or receipt that shows you have been providing for your child. I suggest you contact your Attorney general in your state and File court ordered child support on yourself, that way evry penny you give is accounted for by the stste.She would be a greedy bloodsucking wench to do that to you, but indeed she can lie and say you've done nothing. I'm going through a child support problem right now, with my childs father and he hasn't done anything for my baby in over 10 months, so he got something coming to him when we go back to court. But unlike you, he deserves it. Talk to a lawyer as well just in case.
2007-10-19 14:34:17 · answer #4 · answered by candyred1999 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
(this is predicated on what state/county you're in)...based on the fact that you never went to court in the first place, have you been keeping receipts of clothing, food, toys, education for your son? if not, start doing so. Or if you give her some sort of money, is it in cash or money orders/check? Do not give her cash - make it something with a back up system. It is very good that right now the system is work, MY concern is that she finds a greedy new boyfriend that may talk her into sticking to you. Keep a 'log' (diary) of every payment, down to Dairy Queen. This is a pain, but do it to protect yourself and your son. Keep this same log of your visits. Keep a civil tongue about you - your son does not need to hear any mommy bashing (this is SO unhealthy!). Since she CHOSE not to take you to court and you CHOSE to help anyway (kudos to you both for choosing your son first), this will look good on you both. CS is predicated on what 'he makes to what she makes'. Love your son, and respect his mother.
2007-10-19 14:29:24 · answer #5 · answered by Empress Jan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely NOT she cant get any back child support except from the day you are served and go to court. My advise to you is GET A RECEIPT. from her for everything you do. This will show a judge you have been there and taking care of your son. that way he wont hit you with a large child support amount to make up for what he feels you should of did. There are also guidelines on how much you would pay . that is based not only on your salary but now also on her's. Good Luck
2007-10-19 14:30:15 · answer #6 · answered by chuck t 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
She has a right to take you to court and have child support ORDERED by the court, since you currently don't have an order.
If I were you I'd be getting receipts for EVERY penny you give her and EVERYTHING you buy for him. Starting now. That way if she takes you in, you can prove that you have not been a deadbeat until the court date. If you're not getting receipts she can claim you haven't paid anything and you won't be able to refute it.
2007-10-19 14:29:57 · answer #7 · answered by lady_phoenix39 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should write statements of what you give her for your child every month and have her sign them, therefore if she tries to take you back to court you have documentation that you give her a certain amount for the child.Personally I think that you should go for joint custody because you can spend more time with you son and no child support. I disagree with DJ (one of the writers) because that is very cruel and inhumane and if you were in such a situation I know you would not want anyone to make such a comment.
2007-10-19 14:47:03 · answer #8 · answered by Daniel B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it depends by state. But if she has been recieving any state assistance she doesn't even have to file papers against you, the state can come after you. I would go to court to get this cleared up before she decides to blind side you. Having things legal will make everything a lot easier. It will also make sure that she can never deny you the opportunity to see your son.
2007-10-19 14:29:30 · answer #9 · answered by Amy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Check your state laws. In my state - yes she could for 20% of your pay & it doesn't matter what you do now. If you are already giving more than that she probably wouldn't go that course. Child support is to support the child. You should always know what your rights are. Good luck to you.
2007-10-19 14:29:38 · answer #10 · answered by Nice one 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to get custody because if he lives with him and you have been paying for him with no records, she can screw you over big time, all she has to do is go to court and say you didn't pay for anything and yes they will take back support from you but if you have it all on record what you have already paid for then she can't touch you, be careful because a lot of good fathers get screwed by their kids mother over this. good luck!
2007-10-19 14:29:09 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋