Baby Names?

Question

Is it wrong for me to be upset? The first name I was considering, I told my BFF about, then all of a sudden she goes online, searches for baby names referring to them as one she would use for her future daughter, turns out it was the same name. She's not even trying to conceive I don't understand why she's doing this. Then I told another friend about a name, and she tells me it was the name she was going to use for her second daughter but passed on it, now she tells me that her friend who is about to have her baby will use the exact first and middle name. When I told my husband about it he got very upset, he says what kind of friends are these to steal your ideas, etc. I am upset as well but it's something I can easily get over, there are plenty of other names for my baby, this time I just won't tell anyone.

To answer Steph, the first name is quite popular so it's something I can easily get over, but the second name isn't, first and middle name I spent some time thinking about it, I felt it is quite a unique name since I do not know anyone with that name or has ever seen it anywhere. Now my husband is telling me not to speak to this friend.

Answer 1

Well it makes sense you'd be upset, and at least now you realize it's best to keep mum until the baby is actually here and named. Lesson learned. ;)

But you have to realize that many people don't go to the trouble of finding the "perfect" name for their child. They simply hear something once -- or quite often, if they prefer very common choices -- and think, "Hmm, that sounds nice. I think I'll use it." LOL So especially if this is a common, popular name, your friends probably don't think much of "stealing" it. They just think it's a nice name they happened to hear from you (and possibly elsewhere, again depending on common usage). So they probably don't look at it as stealing your ideas so much as you giving them ideas, if you know what I mean.

It doesn't make it right, but that's how many who aren't already familiar with names and their trends tend to choose something for their own child. You simply did all the work for them. ;)

Edited to add: I just noticed you added some details about the first name being common, but putting serious thought into the second, assumably-less-popular, option. Thought this link might help. You can look up that name or any future considerations to be sure it's not a top 100 name or part of a bigger trend (meaning it will be less likely you'll hear someone else using it). Good luck! ;) http://www.socialsecurity.gov/OACT/babynames/

Answer 2

Just don't tell anyone you know in RL what names you have chosen!

It worked for us, if anyone asked, we said yes we've decided but we're not going to tell anyone. Then when our baby was born that was the first anyone knew of the names.

It saves all kinds of unpleasantness, because very few people will tell you it's a horrible name when it's already the name of a new baby. And also you don't feel silly if you change your mind at the last moment :)

Answer 3

Really, if its a popular name, you should get over it. I know best friends whose daughters names are Sierra and Ciarah. Seriously. And the girls are only a year apart.

If its not popular (aka, not in the top 50 of the name lists) then try to find out why she would want to do that, is she afraid that you're moving on with your life and wants to keep the connection? Or maybe she wants you to approve of her and chose the wrong way of picking something you liked.

Oh, and a high school classmate's son was born 10 hours before my son, at the same hospital, and we accidentally named our kids very similar names, Olan and Eli. It could be just a coincidence.

Answer 4

If your baby is born first name your baby that name (since you did come up with it on your own). If someone else has a baby before you and names it that then you can either name it that too or find something else.
It seems in the future you need to keep your name ideas a secret since your friends are stealing your ideal lol. Lots of people keep their baby names secret until after they're born,

Answer 5

The first to have a baby gets the name. The second, third, fourth can name their children different names, or there can be more than one child with the same name. It's not that big of a deal.

TX Mom

Answer 6

I would use the name, but maybe change the middle name or the spelling since youre friend decided to take youre idea, but it is youre child so you shouldnt worry who takes the name just change it around a little bit like put the first name as the middle name or change the spelling a little bit like it its emily change it to emilee =] hope that helps srry to hear about youre idea stealing friend

Answer 7

We didn't tell anyone our baby's name until he and she were born because of this very reason. My sister-in-law's girlfriend used my son's name (same spelling and everything) after and her other friend named her son VAN after my nephew. I was ticked and so was my sister in law. You spend all this time picking the PERFECT name and then someone steals it. Don't tell anyone the name until the baby is born and the birth certificate is signed.
PS. We didn't even tell our mothers the names in fear they would blab! Good Luck!

Answer 8

I think, if you have friends who would do that to you, perhaps it's time you learn to select better ones. Once your little one is born you will scarcely have time to "hang out" with them anyway.

Or, if you'd like to stay buddies, you should surprise them with a name when your baby is born. Just stop telling them your ideas and there won't be anything to steal.

Good luck, also! May your baby be beautiful and have a full and happy life.

Answer 9

If you like it, go with it. Chances are, you won't be friends with these people forever.

One of my friends named her son Cole and when it came time to pick boy names, that happened to be the ONLY boy name my husband and I agreed on so we went with it.

Answer 10

I agree with Debbie. The first to have the baby gets the name. If you love it that much just name your kid that too and who cares what she thinks. You can always not be friends with her.