In Love With 2 Men (Part 2)?

Question

I asked the following question several days ago and just realized I left out an important piece of information. My question was:

Why would a woman who was just recently married still have feelings of love for the guy she was close to before she got married? If she really wanted the marriage to work, wouldn't she give up thoughts and feelings for the ex and focus totally on her new husband? It's been a year since her and the ex broke up. Her husband doesn't know she still has these feelings for the ex. There's no chance her and the ex will hook up again, so why not give up on him and move on?

What I left out was starting about a month after she got engaged and continuing for the last 10 months (she got married in June), she has continued to call the ex and express her love. So, she is not only still feeling residual love for him, she is contact with the ex and telling him. What do people feel now?

Answer 1

How do I feel? I feel that selfishness should be a crime and that this woman should be locked up in jail and beaten with a bat for the harm she is doing to her husband. It is people like her that give women a bad name.

You see, "this woman" (hmm...I guess that's not you) had never let go of her feelings for her ex. Now, you didn't mention how the relationship was broken up but to my guess he must of dumped her. It must of been something that he did because she had never let go of these feelings.

So "this woman" thought that marrying another guy would help her get over him since this guy keeps rejecting her. Obviously he DOES NOT want to be with her because she is confessing her love to him and he doesn't care.

Honestly, I feel bad for the husband for having such a terrible wife. I give the marriage one year tops!!

Answer 2

Okay this broad(sorry but this really pissed me off) needs to check herself. SO she married another person knowing full well that she was not over the previous relationship. Then on top of all of that she is now disrespecting her husband even more by contacting her previous lover to confess her love??????WTF???? Does she love husband at all?? she seems very selfish. and very full of drama... but because I can relate on some level I digress... and I will tell you what I believe she should do.. First, she needs to take a moment and think.rationalize. what is going on..first if things were so wonderful with the ex why did they break up?? could the problem really be that she is feeling like her husband is not really the type of man she likes,but the type of man she does like doesn't want to marry, which is something she really wanted. SO she chooses the husband because he is good for her on some levels, and he is was willing to marry, so NOW she got that instant gratification of marriage that she was looking for and because she is not happy in it, she needs an excuse to end it ...she is fixating on the previous relationship... (because although that is scandoulous enough) it is easier for her to admit feelings for a previous lover than the fact that she didn't trust that the type of man she likes would come along and want to marry her.(just saying egotiscal people would rather be a whore than be insecure)....so I think that the husband was just a pawn in her game whether she wants to admit it or not. and I think that she has never loved him,(she loved what he could do for her -like marry her) nor is she worried about if the marriage will last. she just wanted a marriage under her belt. I hope that your relay this to her if its not you and I hope that you really encourge her to do so some soul searching and get in touch with who she really is. Also I hope that she has done enough good deeds in her life to ease the pain of the bad karma that she has just unleashed in her direction

Answer 3

I think it's really terrible that you'd do something like that. After all, he is married with kids. And you are anything but a friend to his wife. I'm quite sure if she knew, she wouldn't label you as a "friend". Either way, it'll have to come out in the end. Are you sure that you aren't just making this up for attention?? I mean, I get the idea that you are because you labeled your question "part 2" and at the end you added the part about a "twist". It's almost as if you're making it up because it sounded more like a movie or a book than a sincere question.

Answer 4

Explain to your friend that he is an EX for a reason,She should cut all ties with her EX she should of never got married if she had feelings for the Ex, she is not being true to her marriage and it will destroy her marriage sooner than later. Feel Sorry for the new husband who has no idea what he got himself into... Best of Luck!!!

Answer 5

She wants to "have the apple and eat it ". Who doesn't ? But in our culture ( chinese culture ) marriage is a commitment, and once you are married, you "belong" to your husband .To continue to see her Ex, and express feeling for him , is playing with fire, and there will only be 1 result - everyone is going to get hurt . She probably enjoy the feeling of being in love, and being loved by both man ..so NOT keen to cut off that feeling.. well, it is a time bomb waiting to explode ! be careful !

Answer 6

I really feel that this is wrong she should have an ounce of dignity and let her ex go he is gone they are not going to get back together it is over no more. Stop thinking or wondering and if you were going to be like why did you marry the other guy live him live for him and forget that is all I can say.

Answer 7

She needs to make a choice: either a) break off all contact with the ex and focus on the marriage or b) get a divorce and then get back together with her ex.

You must be prepared to accept whichever of these two choices she makes.

Answer 8

You can love a lot of people, however once married, you agreed to commit yourself to one.

Love alone isn't all of it, the feelings, the timing, and the situation must all work. Once the commitment has been made, this woman should work towards its fulfillment, including cutting off communication with former loves/sexual partners.

Answer 9

Has your friend ever heard the term "Loyalty"? It is a very painful thing to do but it must be done. She needs to be loyal to the one she is committed too. In the end she is going to lose them both. Sad. I've seen this story before.

Answer 10

I think if anyone has ANY unresolved feelings for another...they are doing wrong by marrying someone else...This woman is being so very unfair to her husband in so many ways....