No ! Im Not Having An Abortion !!! Mature Adults Only !?

Question

Its Me Ty ..
Im 17 & Im Currently A Senior In High School , My Grades Are very Good , On Top Of That Im Not A Full Time Student I Only Have 4 Classes .
I Have Dreams Of Becoming Either A Certified Doctor/Nurse, Or A Chef & Also Going To School To Get My Hair License . Im Pregnant (About 5-7 Weeks) , Im Also Still Involved With The Child's Father .

My Mother Wants Me To Get An Abortion For Alot Of Reasons ...
* Im Too Young
* It Will Ruin My Body
* Im Going To Stuggle

This Is All True But I Believe I Can Do It ..I Know Its Going To Be Hard ... The Only Thing Im Stuggling With Is With My Boyfriend He Wont Get His Own Apartment !

Adults Only !

What Should I Do ?

My Boyfriend Wants The Baby ! My Mother Is The One Who Objects ...

Answer 1

Let's start at the beginning:
It's your decision to have the baby or an abortion. Not yo mama's, not your boyfriend's.

You're not too young to have a baby. Kids have babies at 13.
"Ruin your body"? Um, were you (sorry, your mom) planning to not have a baby ever? of all the reasons, that's the dumbest. Yes, you may have stretch marks, but if you take care of yourself, your body will be fine. The expression MILF is there for a good reason.

"I'm going to stuggle" - with spelling, especially. (Sorry, just kidding. I can't type sometimes either. I blame the keyboard...)
This is the real question. How are you planning to live?

If your mom is the forgiving sort and doesn't have a job and life of her own, maybe (!) she'll babysit while you go to school. Daycare and its cost is a real problem. Food and living quarters are also an issue, unless daddy gets a job right out of high school. Think about these.

Hairdressser might be achievable but - you still need some school. As for chef - my experience with restaurants is that unless you're a part-time waitress in a place with good tips, the hours are long and not necessarily that rewarding. The busy times are noon to 8PM or later, so you won't spend a lot of quality waking time with junior.

Anything that requires real commitment - doctor, nurse - means years of heavy studying. Some people do manage to do it while raising kids. Being a single mother too will be a real burden. The guys I knew in medical school basically locked themselves in their dorm for 2 years to get in, and then for another 6 years to finish doctor school. If you're not making 90% already, forget it. (check for yourself!) I can't imagine doing it with kids, unless the hubby is real committed.

Speaking of hubby, which you didn't - that says something. Do you mean he is worried he won't have his own place if he has to pay support, or that he doesn't want to get a place and move in with you? Either way, this doesn't look good for you trying to go it alone.

You said nothing about marriage or permanent relationships, implying none. Even if you do settle down for connubial bliss, are you both mature enough to make it last past the first big fight? Is he mature enough to give up all those dreams of motorcycles, or backpacking through Europe, or college or whatever, and become a wage slave for the next 18 years?

My fear, and your mom's, is that you will not be able to handle family and school and finances and time. Your boyfriend won't be able to pay much. Without time to get a good education, you will find yourself stuck in minimum wage jobs. Any dreams will evaporate. To finish any schooling, you'll at least need some guy to help with 50% or more of the chores and child-care. Mama probably doesn't want to start all over again - her time's almost done.

Who knows? maybe you have the drive and determination to make a go of things regardless. Some do, most don't.

So the decision is - then what? Do you spend 9 months growing something precious, just to give it up? Some people can. The couple who adopt will be truly thankful. Many mothers spend the rest of their lives regretting it, maybe more so than an abortion. Depends on your beliefs. Or do you end it now, before the heartache and problems start?

It's your call because ultimately it's your problem and your life. It's a big thing to decide so young, but hey - that's life.

Answer 2

well, whilst you are still quite young for having a child, you need to look at everything. You need to think about how suitable you are to raise a child, and should you have the baby, would you be able to raise it properly? Will the dad support you? will you be able to raise a centred and happy child?

Im just giving you things to think about, a new life that will be your responsibility is a lot of work and you need to make sure you can do your best to give this baby a great start in life.

Im not going to tell you what to do as everybody is different. It seems like you have alot of dream and ambition, there are people out there as young (some even younger) than you that have done extremely well for themselves even once they've had a baby an have gone on to do many great things, it will be a struggle, and if you believe you can do that, then thats great. But you need to think about the bad as well as the good.

the bad (and im just being honest not rude) is:
you and the dad could split up
he might not be supportive
your not going to be able to live a typical young ladies life
your life will change forever
you can no longer be selfish
you will be responsible for that baby 24/7

Make sure you think everything through before you make a decision. Maybe even try to talk to other people that have children just so you can see what its like and it will help you make up your mind.

I hope that you think about this thoroughly an have YOUR best interests at heart. Nobody should ever judge you for the decision that you make, and whatever you do, whether you have the baby or not, don't loose your drive and ambition! keep doing well in school too!

best wishes.
xxx

Answer 3

The first thing is that you should find a Crisis Pregnancy Center of some sort in your area. They will have advice and resources for you for free....like, maternity clothes, baby items, great advice. They may even be able to help you to get an apartment. I think it is very brave of you and you should not have an abortion for any reason. God created this life and He has a plan for you and your child. You can still finish school, even college. In fact, you can get more assistance and help b/c you are a mother. It will not ruin your body unless you let it. I have had 3 children and my body was back to normal after each. If you exercise and eat right, anything is possible. Also, anyone, no matter what age, struggles at some point when the decide to have children, but it's still a wonderful job to be a parent!

Answer 4

well its not the babys fault he or she was conceived so dont end the inocent life cause ur mom says to abort there is always adoption.let me tell you something having abortion can ruin ur body my sister had abortion and when she wanted to have children later on in life she was unable to now cause something went wrong from the abortion.thre are so many programs out there to help people out who are having a baby.abortion is only gonna hurt you emotional for a long long time and u will feel guilty and sorry that u did it.i think adventulally he will come around about getting his own apartment.give him time.he will come around.u still have a long way to go for ur pregnancy.its a blessing maybe this pregnancy is meant to be.so please dont end it.i am single mother of a 3 year old.i was raped by a unknown stranger while waiting for the bus.i was beating and left to die.2 weeks later i found out i was pregnant.i kept the baby.i thought at first like u that i was gona struggle.but really i am not.i am getting so much help from so many organzations.and i have no family.just me and the baby.hes 3 now and i thank god everyday for him hes my little blessing.u have the childs father involved,abd u have family they may say now they dont want part in ur pregnacy but let me say once they see that baby they will not resist.if u dont want to go on with it then atleast consider adoption.and 17 ur not too young.ur almost an adult.and u still have time for ur dreams. of becoming a doc or nurse.but dont worry hunny this descion is urs to make not ur mothers.also listen to the little innocent life inside is telling u.ur gonna be a mom and its the greatest feeeling in the whole wide world.congradulations i hope u make the right desion on going through the pregnancy.good luck.

Answer 5

I am 20 years old living with my boyfriend, working full time and going to school full time. I am almost 8 weeks pregnant. I cried a whole week when I found out because we both want the baby so bad and the only problem is we are still too young, I want to finish college, I want to save and get married and prepare for the baby. I thought so hard if I should abort this baby but then I went online and saw the stage that my baby was at and I realize that it would destroy me emotionally to kill my own flesh and blood. It is going to be damn hard but if God didn't want me to have it, he wouldn't have given it to me. At this point I don't care who approves or not but I am going have my baby because I want to. Do the right thing and spare your baby's life, just expect the unexpected and know that determination will bring you far. And believe me girl, it might be hard but don't think you need a man to survive in this world. Make sure you have some kind of independence in life because anything can happen and you don't want to find yourself on the streets.

Answer 6

there are so many programs out there that can help you
first resort is a program that will help you.
free sonigrams, food, diapers, place to live
day care
dont worry about losing your body
you are young you will get your body back when u breast feed
dont let that be the reason to have an abortion. I know its hard when you do not have support
but there are so many programs that will give u a hand.
when i was 18 i had an abortion
i was in a abusive relationship and didnt think anyone could help me. so i had an abortion
People told me it wasnt even a baby yet at 7 weeks. not true the baby has a heart beat at 5 weeks
it was a bad experience
if you can handle it than its your choice
but do whats best for you
not your mom or you boy friend

Answer 7

At 17, you need to make up your own mind.

It sounds like your boyfriend isn't ready to start a family if he doesn't want to get his own apartment, so you can't count on him.

Your mom is trying to give you every reason in the book, most of which are true, for you to have an abortion. You are her baby. She doesn't want to see you struggle trying to cope with a baby, school, work...just starting a life. I see where she is coming from (I'm a mom). But, it is still YOUR decision. At 17, I don't think the pregnancy and birth is going to hurt your body any more than any other young woman. Now, very young teens bodies are not ready and could have serious complications.

If your religious, maybe you can pray for guidance to do what is right for you...or go to a counselor so you can get an unbiased idea of what you are in for. God bless you and may you make a decision that you can live with for the rest of your life.

Answer 8

This is a very hard situation you are in and no I don't believe in abortion myself. That said you being so young and having so much ahead of you. Give your baby up for adoption. There are so many loving couples out there who are unable to have children and you would be giving your child a good start to life. This is in no way saying you cant take of your child. But you are young and this would be a way of giving your baby what you can not. Not to mention the happiness you would be giving a couple who has wanted a child. Think long and hard about this option, your boyfriend is already having issues, that may just get worse when the baby is born. Think not only of your future but that of your baby. I'm adopted and am truly grateful my biological parents gave me up so I could have a better life.

Answer 9

First of all, I commend you for not wanting to get an abortion. Kudos to you for giving your baby life! You can get help to get through this!! It will be a struggle no matter what you decide, but there are people that can help you. Try visiting www.itsaboutlove.org. It's a website for a place called LDS Family Services. There is an 800 number you can call to talk to someone who can help you explore your options and offer counseling to you, the baby's father and your family. It doesn't cost anything for you. They do offer adoption services, but also information on single parenting and also marriage if that is an option for you and the father. They will not pressure you in any way, just help you to be better informed about your options.

You are young and you are going to struggle to accomplish the goals you have in mind. Adoption is always an option if you don't want to get an abortion but don't feel ready to be a parent yet. There are so many people out there waiting to adopt that would be such good parents. No pressure, just a suggestion of something to look into. Good luck! Stay strong and do what you feel is best for the baby and for you!!

Answer 10

It's a tough situation. The father apparently is not ready for life on his own. This makes it seem unlikely that he will provide much support for you and the baby. Raising a child is an overwhelming experience. It will take all of your time and energy. Even with an active partner it's hard, and without a solid income the cost of living on your own and raising a child can be overwhelming. You will find it very difficult to pursue your dreams as a young mother, especially if you are single. Sounds like your mom knows all this. Hard as it is, I would not have the baby. If you must, look into adoption. You're not ready to be a mom.