men please help....how can i get over this?

Question

now i know it is perfectly normal for men to fantisize about other women and sleeping with other women, etc...But my question is...how do I as a wife get over feeling inadequate knowing that my husband as a man is always checking out other females when he thinks im not looking? men...do you compare your wives to the thousands of other women you see each day or porn stars? how can i get over this insecurity? i already work out, take care of myself, have a lot of sex, and my husband says he adores me and thinks im out of his league...but still...i cant help but feel insecure knowing that everywhere he goes there will always be someone younger, cuter, sexier...that he will be checking out. any tips on how to deal with this self-destrucive insecurity and feelings of inadequacy?

Answer 1

I don;t think about other women. I know my wife is sexier than any other could be.

Answer 2

No way must you think of yourself like that !!
From what you describe things are OK with you & your man.
Men have always been stimilated by sight,he may look at other women, but if he does something then you have a problem.
Your obviously an intellegent, gorgus woman..Now you need to believe it !!
Cheers & Good luck
B.

Answer 3

You need to figure out *why* you feel insecure and inadequate. Hint: it has nothing to do with the likelihood that he might look at some other woman.

I suspect you had these insecurities and feelings of inadequacy before you were married.

Answer 4

It's not about measuring women up against each other. It doesn't matter how beautiful or attractive you are. He will always check out and think about other women. Unless he's running after them, you have nothing to be concerned about. Demanding that he stop will only make him learn to hide it better from you. That won't help anything.
He's with you. He loves you. He sees a hot young tight piece on the sidewalk. So what? Maybe he gets turned on. Take advantage of it.

Answer 5

I am in this situation right now with my husband. He definitely has a sweet tooth that he uh, often indulges in. It hurts, for sure, and worse is you're insecure (i am too). If you want someone to vent to, please feel free to email me or catch me on YIM.

Answer 6

I feel this way too sometimes, it's hard to see my boyfriend checking out other girls, or when he says someone else is pretty. but i think if you feel secrue enough in yourself then maybe it wont bother you so much. im not sure how to get over it becuae i deal with it too!! lol

Answer 7

First of all, you are insecure, very insecure and you need to stop unless he truly has giving you something to be insecure about. Ever heard the expression "Look but don't touch". He may very well be following that rule. I think is normal to look at people but not in a lustful way. I look to admire not to gawk. You may be confusing his looking as something else.

Answer 8

If he says he adores you, take him at his word.

Checking out other women is a bad habit that is hard to break, but that's all it is. He isn't "shopping".

You have to trust him and trust yourself.

Answer 9

Its your emotional self-esteem, not your physical parts that are the problem, and no amount of work on your physical exterior will matter.
You need to exercise and make your emotional self-esteem fit.
Try and find the root of your insecurities, if your husband have never given you any reason to not trust him then you need to look into your past experiences.
Self-esteem begans in childhood,can take plunges in adolecents,if you felt unaccepted by your peers, or it can be eroded in a bad relationship, did you experience constant negitive comments or experiences related to your self-worth, or your desirabliity?
Did you have a child-hood enviorment where your male role model was unfaithful, or openly viewed females as sexual objects? Did you have some type of sexual abuse as a child, so that maybe you learned that men only use sex as an expression of love?
Did you experience an adolesent phase where you might have had a physical situation where you felt unaccepted or shuned by your peers, maybe a bully that constantly ridiculed you, had acne, braces, or physically matured earlier or later than your peers so that maybe boys gravitated to you, and female peers ignored or called you names because of it, or if you matured later did boys prefer the girls that where more physically mature, and you felt inadaquate or ugly or plain, compared to your female peers?
Where you in a relationship where your partner was insecure and so was verbally and/or physically abusive, or frequently cheated on you?
These are just some areas you might want to look for the root of your extreem insecurities, and feelings of inadequacies, before it causes damage to your marraige. No one likes to cause a partner to feel jelousy, so they will compromise themselves to try and avoid the conflict of it, but sooner or later they will grow tired of compromizing themselves or dealing with explaining and/or arguments about innocent looks, or social encounters that you might confront them, as being more than just that.
Something to think about, just as it is normal for men to have fantacies, and looking at other women, this is also true of females as well.........some women won't admit even to themselves that this is true, we are just not as open about it to our male partners as men. But women to have fantacies and do look at other men, do we compare, yes to some degree, we might think something like, " I wish my man had arms like that." " I think that haircut would look good on my guy." or "my guy would look wierd in that shirt because of his hairy chest." ect. ect. ect. BUT.......................
ask yourself if you would ever act on your fantacies? or Would you ever have an affair with a man just because he had an antomy part that was different than your mates? The reasons are the same as why your husband would not.
or ask yourself, " I really do like hairy chests, but my husband has a smooth chest, so why did I marry him and not a guy with a hairy chest?" again the same reasons as your husband.
Extreem insecurities can be over come, work out your emotional reactions to your insecurities as hard has you do your physical self. It maybe uncomfortable at first, but just as you get over the soreness of physical exercise and are able to push a little harder, same with the emotional self.

Answer 10

look at men the way he looks at women....maybe he will see how he is being disrespectful.....
i did this with an ex who also couldnt keep his eyes off a passing pair tig o bitties or round rump....at first i act like didnt mind and would comment on it too "yes look at her" and he found it entertaining...then a guy passes and i did the same thing ....it only took that one male comment for him too say whooo wait...
its hard for some guys to break that habit and its so disrespectful to us women but they do not see it like that..but u gotta retrain him...lol
break him gurl!!!