i have a boyfriend, i love him and we will ge married in few monthes
we don't live in the same country since i moved for a new work one year ago
i met here someone who was a good friend and helped me a lot but recently we had some sex me and him
i didn't want it to happen but it happened
i still love my boyfriend and want to marry him
what should i do? should i tell him about what happened or not?
2007-10-19 05:31:57 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
if you tell him it will only be for your benefit, not his. it will be hard but keep this to yourself. he doesn't need to know.
2007-10-19 05:55:43 · answer #1 · answered by buk84 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this sounds like what everyone says when something like that happens, but " Things HAppen" I personally think you should tell him what happened, now I am not saying that he will forgive and forget right there on the spot but it's better to be 100% honest in a relationship. If he truly cares it make take some time but he should forgive you. ON the other hand he may be really upset and say it's over? It's hard to tell? What-ever you do it's your chioce and your really the only one who can decided wether or not he finds out~ I wish you all the luck in the world~!
2007-10-19 12:39:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he has a right to know, the same way you'd want to know if he'd done it to you.
I know it's not pleasant to think you might lose him, but what if he finds out some other way later down the road, and feels betrayed that you weren't honest with him.
When I married my second husband, I told him all the dirt on me from my previous marriage, even though it had nothing to do with him, so he'd be making an informed, educated decision on whether he wanted to be with me or not. I also didn't want him to hear it from a third party instead of ME.
You need to do the right thing.
Ask yourself, If he was the one that had done this to me, would I want the respect and privilege of knowing?
If you do end up losing him, you need to realize that our actions deliver consequences, and don't do things you aren't willing to "pay for" later.
2007-10-19 12:38:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is not wise now u have done it. Lets get to the future if u love as u say then telling this may hurt him & eventually u may lose him or his interest atleast.
Think what happened as a bad dream & try to forget it if u can't then b ready mentally to lose him. Becose all guys & girls too r same in nature , their chemistry is same all over the world. So this will definately upset him & he may think that u can do it anytime again if needed so just call him to join u as soon as possible to avoid this sort of situation again.
2007-10-19 12:46:58 · answer #4 · answered by lovelyhubby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a hard decision because guys can't handle the truth.
If you tell him (experience) he will use your honesty as future leeway, kind of like points that he gained to cheat on you in the future and bring it up when you catch him. Yeah it is quite unfortunate but, sadly true=) I've made this mistake randomly thru out my relationshipS.... Being totally honest about what mistakes I did, trying to be honest and get a "eFF- U" in return. Thank god all guys are not like that....I want to say, tell him but then again, if you truley never "plan" nor "intend" of acting like a douche bag EVER, then forget about it (literally)
2007-10-19 12:44:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't love your boyfriend and have sex with another guy. Having sex with this guy means that you are not ready to commit yet. Have fun and enjoy your single life. Tell your boyfriend that you need more time because you had sex with another man while you were away from him. See if he still wants to marry you. I doubt it.
One day you will find a man that you'll be ready to commit to and no one will be able to seduce you. That's a great feeling to have on your wedding day, not the one you WILL have if you go ahead and marry this guy.
2007-10-19 12:53:16 · answer #6 · answered by stephanie5 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ethically - Marriage demands honesty.
You've got to risk telling him.
Practically - Secrets like this are time bombs.
They have a way of 'going off ` later when they
can do more damage.
Deal with it now.
2007-10-19 12:37:28 · answer #7 · answered by Irv S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
" THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE "
Be honest. !! Its bad enough that you cheated on him. ! !
Please do not listen to the others who want you to " cover up "
your indiscretions because that is the EASY AND DISHONEST WAY OUT. ! !
Remember about karma. What goes around comes around.
You can run but you can't hide. What about your conscience ?
You have none.....so it's ok ? Wrong. Tell him
tell him.....then move on.
Best Wishes !
Wood
2007-10-19 12:36:58 · answer #8 · answered by woodster 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't tell him!!! It will only hurt him and ruin his trust for you. Stop seeing the other person and promise yourself to be faithful. If you tell him (and I really hate secrets), nothing good will come of it except to clear your conscious which would be another selfish act on your part.
2007-10-19 12:36:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
He has a right to know....wouldn't you want to know if your boyfriend cheated on you with a "good friend" that helped him a lot?
2007-10-19 12:40:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell him. You would want him to be honest with you if he did the same, right?
2007-10-19 12:46:14 · answer #11 · answered by ladydiana_a 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋