I have become a victim of infidelity after 17 years of a great marriage. I feel like I am slowly dying from the inside out. I despise adultery!! It is a SELFISH act that does permanent damage!
2007-10-19 05:31:40 · 27 answers · asked by North Carolina 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are so right about the selfishness of adultery. There's no better word to describe it. But...
No, you won't die of a broken heart. Especially if you have somone to talk to who understands exactly how you feel.
Prayer, prayer and more prayer. It gets us through that pain.
2007-10-19 09:03:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anything is "possible", but let me assure you, that you WON'T die from this. You will live. You will live and you will love again.
Is permanent damage done? Of course it is. You might even be able to trust again, but from a distance now. The thing is, we are a lot stronger than we think. You need to decide if this is worth throwing a 17 year marriage away. If she's willing to get counseling, then both of you should go. If you cannot live with it, that is also your right, and you have to do what is best for YOU.
But either way, you will be okay. What doesn't kill us makes us not only a lot stronger, but a lot SMARTER too.
Hang in there. You're not the first, and you won't be the last, and if this kind of betrayal killed people, I (and a lot of others) would not be here today.
2007-10-19 05:48:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry JC!!! I but I think that is only for the movies..and even if it were true I don't think that someone who has invested 17 years in a marriage is the kind of person that could die from something like that. . I think they are the kind of person that wants to fight.. a warrior.. so now lets decide what your fighting for. Do you still love her? Are there kids involved here? Did you catch her or did she confess? Was it a random one time thing?Or was it an affair? If you still love her and this was a random lapse in judgement where she confessed and is truly sorry, please seek marriage counseling and find your way back to your marriage. Cheating which I also despise can also bring you closer together. It can make you look at your relationship and find out what cracks there are to allow this filth to seep in. Once you find that out you can work on fixing them so it NEVER happens again and move forward. I know this seems far fetched but its true I speak the from experience. Now if you have a sack of **** whore of a wife who has been doing it for years with no regards for your feelings, who has no remorse except for the fact that she got caught.. divorce her butt yesterday!! pull yourself together and get on with life. She was just a preview to what may be waiting for you! Trust GOD and know that he will not give you more than you can handle. AND don't give up! Your a fighter!! Don't give her the pleasure of staining your marriage and YOUR SPIRIT with her filth...
2007-10-19 05:48:25 · answer #3 · answered by Mrs.G-unit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand how you are feeling. You may want to look into getting some professional help cause the depression could get much worse and depression can effect your physical health as well as your mental health. My husband cheated on me 4 yrs ago (I took him back and we're working on it), and my heart is broken and it doesn't feel as if its healing. I know where you are coming from, I really do. I think that if you get up and get the help that you need it will really help you. I know its hard to admit what happened and its hard to accept. Try looking at it like this; you're not a victim, your a survivor. You have to believe that you are going to get better and want to get better in order to actually get better. There is a mind/body/spirit connection and you need to get them all working towards the same goal. Getting through this. You may never get over it, but you will get through it. I wish you the best of luck. This is just my opinion and you can take it or leave it. I hope all works well for you. Good luck!
2007-10-19 07:41:50 · answer #4 · answered by Drea Z 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is scientific evidence that people who have gone through a traumatic experience, have a greatly increaded chance for a heart attack for a year or two after the event.
When my mom died in 2003, the hospice worker gathered us together and warned us to be aware of the symptoms of heart attack and not to ignore them. Six months later, my brother had a heart attack at the age of 45. I was subsequently diagnosed with a Left Bundle branch block, which may have occured due to stretching of the left ventricle, a condition called Broken Heart syndrome.
You need to get couceling, and a medical check up as soon as you can. You can't heal if your not alive.
2007-10-19 05:54:26 · answer #5 · answered by Charlie S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i also think that adultry is selfish...and yes it does permanantly damage a relationship...my advice to you is to leave, why hurt yourself?i mean you know that your partner is cheating...there is always a light at the end of the tunnel...i think being alone is better than being unhappy.
u shouldn't despair and never give up in love...take this as a learning expirience and as a step foward...this is to say move on,hold no grudges and be thankfull for the 17 years of expirience...we are victims of infidelity,whether married or not...
we all have choices...actually we have two choices,you either chose to be happy or die from a broken heart...
good luck on making the right choice........
2007-10-19 07:45:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear this, it sucks when you think all things are just fine in a marriage, and then one day, crap hits the fan,......You need to get a grip here and stat thinking about what do you want to do with this marriage and your life. I'm divorcing after 31 years, and this sucks big time, but I will not put up with the cheating, lies, and all the rest of this crap he has put me through. I joined a support group call Divorce Care ( www.divorcecare.org ) they also deal with separation, they are located all over the U.S. You might what to check this out for help you need support now more than ever.
2007-10-19 05:59:03 · answer #7 · answered by kim t 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was one of those victims. I was not married for 17 years but was married for 6. My first husband left me for a 42 year old woman when I was a young 26. I think the best thing that I did was keep myself busy and started focusing on being the best mom I could be. I started going out and having fun living the single life. I eventually found someone else and married him and now it seems as though the ex was never part of my life. You should stay busy find something that you enjoy and you should go out and start having fun. Try not to dwell on her leaving your for someone else. Do not contact her and let her live her life she chose. You are to good to be letting her have space in your head. Go out have fun.
2007-10-19 05:38:42 · answer #8 · answered by Judi W 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I understand ,as I am going thru the same thing,
it is very possible to die from a broken heart. Older couples whom one has passed the other remaining lives on average for 3 years has health issues that worsen etc
I wish you the best
2007-10-19 05:40:12 · answer #9 · answered by silvertouch2 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i believe one could die from a broken heart, the stress your experiencing right now. get in a grief counseling group, connect with others, surround yourself around close friends who understand what your feeling. yes adultery is selfish and once it happens there is no undoing it. the object to it is to find healing, and one can't do it by their selves, they need others to help them. one could die because stress kills, so get some hep, don't try to deal with it alone. and bring the lord into it, he is the only one who can heal a broken heart.
2007-10-19 05:49:38 · answer #10 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋