I understand she missed me while she was away in Japan for two months. My daughter and I missed her too. For the last three nights she's been spooning me and keeps rubbing her face against the back of my neck, touching my face, kissing and nibbling my ears, saying "I missed you" over and over, etc.
It's very sweet, but it makes it very hard for me to fall asleep. She wakes me up about six to eight times a time with the constant touching and snuggling. I have to be up by 5 for work.
How can I tell her without hurting her feelings? Or should I just say nothing?
2007-10-19 05:24:41 · 67 answers · asked by Ras C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
PS: she's not just horny because even after we make love, she continues to snuggle the entire night.
2007-10-19 05:25:58 · update #1
Give her the same treatment...maybe she'll realize it.
2007-10-19 05:26:49 · answer #1 · answered by Love. 2 · 5⤊ 6⤋
Is it possible to 'snuggle' with her while you are awake? I know that most of the time it is dating couples who can't stay away from each other, but most women never lose the capacity to be petted, and you're right, she missed you for two months. She's not sleeping well either, if you think about it.
A few hugs and kisses intermittently throughout the evening, or being curled up together while watching TV, or doing a strenuous workout together, or even giving her a half hour massage could provide enough contact to enable her to fall asleep and sleep restfully through the night. I suggest you work on this and get as creative as you can. You be 'da man' and take care of your little snugglebunny!
2007-10-19 05:34:10 · answer #2 · answered by nora22000 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 thoughts occured to me:
1st: start by reciprocating and cuddling her. Face her, and bring her close to you and cuddle her into your side. Give her some affection. Do this for 10-20 minutes before bed. She may keep doing it just because you aren't responding (you said your back is towards her), so she keeps it up hoping to get the same response from you.
2nd: If things don't get better (or you are already doing this) Explain things in a very logical manner, during the afternoon, something along the lines of:
"Honey, I've got a lot of work tomorrow, and I need to get some solid sleep. I know you love to touch me in the middle of the night, but I think I'm just not used to sharing the bed, so it wakes me up. I missed you a lot too, so let's go to bed early tonight, so we can still cuddle for a while, but I have to get some sleep."
She may not know she's waking you up. Her feelings will probably still be hurt, but once she thinks through what you've just said, She should be ok.
2007-10-19 05:37:09 · answer #3 · answered by Eleez 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) Say three nice things about her and tell her how much you miss her too while you're gone and that you love her and her touch.
2) Tell her that while you love all these things about her, you need your 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep so you can be fully functional at work so that you can continue to support the loving home you now have and if she could let you do that without touching you so much all the time at night, that would be a loving thing for her to do.
3) Then, schedule a weekend together in a romantic, secluded setting, away from work, just the two of you, where you will promise her all the snuggling and lovemaking she desires over an uninterrupted period, where you can wander in and out of sleep as suits you both. Putting something on the calendar and giving her something to look forward to, will make her ecstatic.
2007-10-19 05:31:28 · answer #4 · answered by Vangorn2000 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ras, sounds like you have a wonderful wife. Perhaps you should attempt to cuddle with her rather then her you. This way you may be better able to sleep. Regardless you should be as honest with her as you can, keeping in mind not to hurt her feelings. Let her know how grateful you are that she is in your life and how important you are to each other. But that you have been having trouble getting your proper rest and sleeping so need to try cuddling her to see if you can sleep better. It's very understandable if you've been away for a long time that she needs to feel you and be with you. After you are back for a while things will eventually return to be more normal and at that time you may miss her keeping you awake. Just joshing, but remind yourself how lucky you are to have this woman in your live as there are many other men that would kill to be in your situation. Your wife will understand if you are honest, she may initially be a little hurt but will come to see that what you are saying makes sense and will respect you for being honest with her. Best of luck and many happy years of marriage are wished to your happy family.
2007-10-19 05:37:16 · answer #5 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be a behavior that displays her feelings of insecurity.If possible, just do an honest assessment of how you display your acknowledgement, appreciation, value and pleasure to have her as your partner. You don't have to give her gifts, or flowers, or candy, or other superficial offerings that are currently utilized by partners in a marriage, or significant relationship, to display your appreciation of her contribution that is a stabilizing component to your home and family. But, it would probably a good idea to just surprise her with a weekend adventure to a place she has expressed in. Leave the kids with family members, or a trusted child care agent. It doesn't have to be grandiose, or glamorous, but it would help if it provided a romantic atmosphere. A dinner at a resturant that provides her favorite food choices, a movie, a massage for both of you at a nice spa, your encouragement for her to find a fashion or two that won't break the bank, but will indicate your willingness for her to occasionally access areas that she finds will be both satisfactory and pleasurable for you. Hair style changes, manicure, pedicure, these are all possible choices you can offer her. I get bored sometimes with the constancy of the dynamics of my significant relationship. However, I chose ways that create the opportunity to give generality a break, and my guy does too. It has worked. We do this about 4-5 times a year. It's good for the health of our relationship. I don't take him for granted, and does not take me for granted. Las Vegas is a great choice. As well, there are weekend packages available from a travel agent, and Las Vegas has it all. Good luck.
2007-10-19 05:47:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay heres what to do;
Make here feel love do breakfest in bed for here you know something cute and romantic :D
Then tell her you love a lot and is so thrilled and can't describe in words how you feel to have her back, but you would love to not be snuggled with every night. Say you would like to be able to work for this family without a hard time. Say it was hard enough thinking of you when you were away, and if you continue to snuggle and etc. that your mind will always be on her and you might be fired.
It will make her feel very loved! TRUST ME!
2007-10-19 05:31:24 · answer #7 · answered by abcyborg12 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be thankful your wife loves you enough to want to snuggle you said it yourself you were away for 2 months Honey if my beloved had to go away for two months I would certiantly be making up for lost time. Lovingly hug her and say I love you but I need to sleep. Lets make time to snuggle more when we both are awake. Don't hurt her feelings and be abrupt be loving hold her in your arms until she falls asleep.
Some wives don't really care and at least yours does she sounds like a very special lady don't take her for granted e4g
2007-10-19 05:45:26 · answer #8 · answered by encourager4God 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am thinking she will be a little hurt, but if you say honey or baby you know I love you, and wouldn't hurt you for the world. You know I have to get up early, and when you snuggle with me when I am sleeping, it breaks my sleep, but I will make a little time for us to snuggle before I go to sleep if I am not to tried, but you really need you to give me space when it's my bedtime. Let her know on the weekends, you are available, and you look forward to that time, to be with her for you won't have to go to work. When you have finish telling her your worries, give her a BIG HUG to let her feel secure and loved. Wishing you a good nights sleep.. after your talk with the wifee.
2007-10-19 11:06:13 · answer #9 · answered by carmel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say give it time ... more than likely after the relief of being home again wears off then her sleeping habits will go back to normal. If it doesn't stop then tell her that you need your rest for work and that she's keeping you awake at night. End it with a sweet "I love you" or something like that. It's hard to remember hurt feelings when someone says something nice to you.
2007-10-19 05:30:14 · answer #10 · answered by Done Cryin' 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely say something because if you just let it build up, you might end up exploding at her and REALLY hurting her feelings. Just be honest with her. My husband and I have a similar problem - I like to cuddle a lot, but he gets really hot at night. He told me that he loves me and loves that I like to be close to him but that he can't sleep like that - because he was so caring in his honesty with me, it didn't hurt my feelings at all. We have a compromise that may help you too. Either he will hold me when we get ready to go to sleep (this way when he gets hot or has had enough, he can roll away from me) or if I just really want to hold him, we'll lay together and talk for a few minutes (so I get my cuddle time) and then we roll apart to go to sleep. It works well because we both get what we need.
2007-10-19 05:35:22 · answer #11 · answered by Amanda M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋