Suicidal people - aren't they just selfish?

Question

because they can't get it their own way and don't want to try harder...

thank you for all your answers, you are just proving me right, apparently people who are attempting to take their own life have not saught help or accepted help as an alternative to end their life.

i know 4 people (yes not a lot, but enough) who had relatives commited a suicide and also had a friend who has done it too when we were at high school, it is not always a case of a mental or terminal illness, i am talking about healthy people, people who had problems and did not seek help, instead they did not even give a choice to those around them to help, but took their lives without trying harder.

Answer 1

The act is selfish if one thinks about it clearly, but that is seldom the case. A person who commits suicide more than likely WASN'T thinking clearly.

Answer 2

I can't believe you asked this... have you no empathy or feelings? Have you never felt depressed? Have you never felt despair? Have you never felt as if your bleak mood would never end? That you were making other peoples lives a misery BY living and existing?

People who commit suicide do it as a last resort. They feel detached from life.... the misery and despair feels like it will never stop. They usually have a deep depression and think all the people around them would be better off if they were no longer alive. They feel like a burden.

Some people commit suicide because they happen to suffer from psychosis and are having a psychotic episode at the time they end their own life.... people can feel persecuted and "hear" voices etc driving them to kill themselves.

I don't think you have any right to claim its selfish when you don't really know anyone's personal reasons for doing it. Trying harder is a ridiculous and insensitive thing to say. You should try harder to have empathy, compassion, understanding and more respect.

If your leg was amputated and you had a problem walking... how would you like it if someone told you to try harder to walk and run? A mental illness is as real, valid and difficult as any physical illness, limitations or disability.

I haven't ever known people commit suicide simply because they couldn't get their own way. IF that were the case, that's sad. It would indicate that the person has some sort of personality disorder.... which again is a mental illness and not something people can snap out of.

Try harder yourself... try harder to understand... try harder to find empathy.

Answer 3

You questions presupposes a very narrow point of view (in you).

If you'd done a little research by looking in 'Search for Questions' at the header of here, you'd find that this question (and associated ones) had been asked in excess of 1,000 times.

This would likely having an average of 10 answers per question... providing you with a lot of views to read through.

If you, selfishly, can only see those who take their own lives in the way that you do, then you are perfectly correct, and as a result, I'm sure the moral high ground you now occupy will keep you happy for a long time.

Before I go, try to think of ~ Just how much fear must there be in someone, or how much pain must they experience, for the blackness of death to be seen as their best or only option?

[ If you had ever been on the other end of the phone with someone who is contemplating suicide because of the rawness of pain from toothache ...you might possibly think differently ....possibly. ]

Part 2:
Sorry, but you can't go moving your goalposts with ~ 'What I really meant was....'

You cannot know whether or not someone made anonymous calls to a priest or some agency or, walked into the CAB for example off of the street in a neighbouring town in an attempt to find help.

You seemingly are trying change the boundaries of 'What I really meant was...' to suite your attempt at an argument, which is not actually 'an argument' in the first place. In realy it's nought but a hypothesis.

Sash.

Answer 4

People who commit suicide are in so much pain, they just want it to stop. They see no alternative but to kill themselves. They do not actively seek death, if you understand my point - it's the pain that they want to die.

They are severely depressed and disturbed. They cannot think logically or clearly; therefore, seeking help - which is a rational decision - is impossible.

They are not selfish. Often many feel what they are doing is for the best for their loved ones. They are guilt-ridden and feel that their loved ones will be better off without them.

I hope I've given you some insight on how a suicidal person feels and thinks.

Answer 5

No not selfish, they are ill & need help & support.

Edit. I battled depression for years, I didn't ask for help because I was in such a bad way I didn't see how anyone could help me. Healthy people don't commit suicide, sick people do. I've lost someone I love to suicide & it was only then that i was spurred into seeking help. It's harder than you can ever imagine, I couldn't possibly put it into words so i won't even try. Please don't judge people that attempt it or succeed at it. Just pray you don't ever find yourself in the horriple pit that is depression.

Answer 6

Some are selfish, but a lot have mental illness' and cannot see a way out of their problems. Not everyone is strong, not everyone can cope with life and all it throughs at them. I had a friend whos son was depressed he was only 27, he hung himself, 8 months later she jumped off a bridge cause she could not cope without him, they are now buried together. Depression is a serious illness.

Answer 7

Well, first of all, I want to acknowledge that it sounds incredibly painful to have lost 4 people to suicide. I can't imagine how that must feel, and I can understand how you would consider suicide a selfish act. It may be good, if you haven't, to consider support groups or grief counseling. I know in the area where I am, there are support groups for people who are surviviors of suicide--individiuals who have lost a loved one to suicide. Suicide can be such a painful thing to experience, and it seems as if there is a special kind of grief that goes along with a suicide--not only the sadness of losing someone, though the sadness of losing someone in such a painful, scary way, plus wondering if something different could have been done, in addition to the social stigma attached to suicide.

In my experience, people who are suicidal often feel lost, isolated, and in so much pain, they think they only way to get rid of their pain is to kill themselves. Building on that, many people who are suicidal don't think of the sequence as, "I feel bad and in lot's of pain, I'm going to end my life." Very often, the thought process is, "I'm in lots of pain, I'm going to feel better once i take these pills, shoot myself, etc., and all my pain will dissapear."

Often, people who are suicidal feel as if they can't or don't know how to reach out for help because they've been isolated for so long, or are scared to reach out because very often aren't taken seriously, are not given the space to share what they've been feeling, etc. There is a strong stigma against suicide, and many people believe of a lot of the suicide myths and don't give the person the space to share their thoughts and receive help.

These are my thoughts from the experience I have, and please don't let them take away from your experience and feelings. In my opinion, suicide is not necessarily a selfish act, as much as an incredibly desperate, last ditch effort for self-care. And, I can only imagine how hard and terrible it can be for a survivor to deal with the consequences of it.

Answer 8

I am guessing you are young and you haven't had enough of problems in life, yet.

Most people, not all, who consider suicide are in a state of mind where they perceive their problem to be larger than they actually are. Their perceived problem consumes all of their thinking ability and beyond, to a stage where natural instinct for survival is disregarded.

Suicide people being selfish comes from people who are left stating, "he hurt me so much by killing himself." How selfish of an idea is this to completely disregard the torment someone has gone though to a point to kill himself and only consider him/her self who is still alive? (using the same logic)

By the way, view of suicide varies between cultures greatly. In US, it's seen by a sign of weakness and selfishness. In Japan, it is seen as an ultimate act to take personal responsibility and seen as a sign of mental strength.

You are thinking, someone just woke up and said "I can't get it my way - I'm going to kill myself!" It's not that simple. You skipped the long and important middle part.

Answer 9

That is a very ignorant way to view it. You have obviously never felt so low that you would be willing to take your own life and I hope for your sake that you dont. I dont believe they are selfish at all, just at a point where they feel so bad they can think of no other way out. They need help and support, NOT to be told they are selfish and cant get their own way - unbelievable!

Answer 10

I think to make that judgement is selfish..People who actually commit suicide are desperate and do not have the thought power to seek help..Personally,i have little patience with anyone who SAYS they want to die..My reaction is "Take a tour round a cancer care unit,see what all those poor sods go through in order to survive,then tell me you wanna die"..Those are the attention seekers,the really desperate ones you don't hear about til it's too late....