i have known my friend since the 7th grade, now we are 23 so she has always been the church, formal type girl and it works for her, but i always thought she cared too much about appearances and what people thought, a lot of her life was just based on that and she did a lot of stuff in secret only i would know, not bad stuff just normal life stuff, going on a trip with her boyfriend, having an older boyfriend she was ashemed of it i guess and she was already 23 at this time living on her own, so now after like 2 years with this guy they break up cause she is not in love with him that she todl him that from the biginning and he was ok with it but she sent him mixed messages like i miss u i wnat to see u all that, so now he is very mad at her cause she used him and right after she started dating another guy who is scum but she is keeping it a secret too and she is drinking a lot and partying and the guy has a DUI so she drives him around, she slept with him on the first
2007-10-19 03:12:02 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
so further more she keeps being with guys just to have company and not be lonely and still she knows she is not in love with them i mean this new guy he is such a player im afraid that due to her inexperience with men like that she will get hurt, she thinks she has control of things but i know guys like that and he has control of things she is too naive to see it, but so anyways the thing is she is very how can i say it i guess closed she doesnt like to show weaknessesor that she is wrong or something even to me that i have known her for so long is hard to talk to her cause she kind of keeps a wall there that doesnt let me be very honest with her i think i might offend her and then she'll get mad, so hwat should i do in the meantime her ex is a friend of ours and he talks to me and my boyfriend i work for him so he keeps thinking there is hope for them that she must have had feelings for him cause he doesnt completely know she has even selpt with this other guy so what do u think?
2007-10-19 04:06:14 · update #1
oh and to answer kokochin well she has a boyfriend kind of like her first love at 20 they lasted 2 years she thought they would get marry and all and that he was the best man ever and he cheated on her and broker her heart and i knwo she never saw thta coming she was completely in love with him
2007-10-19 04:08:58 · update #2
PLEASE SOMEONE GIVE ME SOME GOOD ADVISE
2007-10-22 02:08:17 · update #3
It sounds like she is going through some delayed rebellion. You say she has always had a secret life separate from the church, formal type girl that she showed to the world. It seems that at the age of 23 she is rebelling against that life in a big way. The bad thing is that instead of deciding to live her life her way, it is like she has decided the only way is to do a complete reversal. Why is she choosing such inappropriate men? Did something happen to her 2 or 3 yrs ago to cause this downward spiral? Is there some reason that she chooses these men & essentially uses them for sex knowing that they are not men with whom she could ever have a future? What is going on in her head about all of this? Do you know any of this? These are the kinds of things you need to talk to her about. Therapy would be good if you can get her to go.
2007-10-19 04:05:48 · answer #1 · answered by kokochin01 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend obviously is suffering some emotional problems, if she's taken up with someone who drinks a lot, and if she's doing it too.
You can't dictate what your friend does, but you can let her know you are concerned about her, and that if she needs to talk, you will listen.
Sounds like therapy wouldn't hurt her, but she won't change unless she wants to, hon.
take care of you in the meantime.
2007-10-19 10:16:51 · answer #2 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow this girl sounds like she is in a downward spiral... I think you might want to sit her down and talk to her ... If that dose not work then try an intervention on her with her family,friends and her x boy friend.. As far as the new boy toy he might be part of her problem
2007-10-19 10:36:06 · answer #3 · answered by diva102288 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you can sit her down and tell her some home truths and tell her how you feel about what she is doing to her life and where it is taking her to.then after that just hope she listens to you.she is an adult and you should understand that she is an adult and u can not make her life decisions for her.
2007-10-19 10:29:46 · answer #4 · answered by shiva 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋