Could this be one of the reasons we are so divorce prone?

Question

I am not judging anyones opinions or answers. Just a thought and to see what others think. When YA askers have a problem in a relationship it seems vast numer of people tell them to immediately get a divorce. Isn't this contributing to the divorce rate and showing the mindset in our society. I am not talking about physically abusive relationships. What do you think?

Colin - Do you see the word 'everyone' in my question? Perhaps if you read it clearly, you would see I stated a vast majority of YA's state this. My question was actually, with the state of mind of those people readily saying to divorce, could this be one of the reasons we are divorce prone? Was looking for opinions, not judgments. I thank all of you who honestly gave an opinion; very interesting and many great responses.

Colleen- Do you see the word 'everyone' in my question? Perhaps if you read it clearly, you would see I stated a vast majority of YA's state this. My question was actually, with the state of mind of those people readily saying to divorce, could this be one of the reasons we are divorce prone? Was looking for opinions, not judgments. My question wasn't about if anyone listened to the answers, it was about the mindset of the people answering to divorce immediately.

I thank all of you who honestly gave an opinion; very interesting and many great responses.

Answer 1

I think people contribute to there own divorce...Why blame someone else for others divorce!! People are to quick to jump in the bed with others and call it love..Why not get to know that person before sex..And I always tell younger couples that's thinking of getting married, If your having problems before your married, then getting married won't make them better..

Answer 2

Yes, I agree, but to dwell on this without asking why this is the case, would be a mistake. Like trying to cure an infection by putting a band-aid on the problem, it's not going to happen. Yes, a lot of people do give that answer and I suspect those answers come from people who enter relationships as easily as they give up on them. These days, if people have a small attraction and the other person "seems" nice, there's a good possibility of what these people call a relationship developing. They hang out together for a couple of weeks and then you hear them say things like "I feel like I've known him all my life. I love and trust him." Yeah right.
Anyway, the fact is that most people just don't take the time to really get to know one another anymore before they become intimate.

Answer 3

Valerie makes a good point. People who come here are sometimes at their wits end and are asking advise about what to do. The small things in marriage take care of themselves.

Most people don't jump into divorce but see no alternative. A hundred years ago people stuck out bad relationships because there was no alternative. Divorce was a taboo. Now if you are unhappy you can move on. People should be engaged for longer periods of time to really get to know each other but who would enforce that. I like the German idea of marriage expiring after seven years. You would have to renew the marriage if you wanted to.

Answer 4

There are all kinds of situations that warrants couples to divorce, all cases are not the same. If a person has lost feelings or attraction for the person, and the 2 don't agree to work it out, the solution is to get out. It really depends on how much they are willing to work on their marriage, in order to make it work. And sometimes divorce is the only answer, after all else have fail.

Answer 5

I think there are as many reasons to divorce as there are couples divorcing The rise in divorce rates is only proof of the rise in the population. More people on the planet, more marriages, more divorces. I have never here on YA told ANYONE to get a divorce and have seen very little evidence of anyone else who has for that matter, You say "EVERYONE" and yet fail to include EVERYONE...Not EVERYONE here or anywhere else encourages anyone to get a divorce. Maybe you should quit generalizing and pay attention to what really goes on here?

Answer 6

I haven't told many people to rush out and get a divorce; however, sometimes you can tell when a person is fed up and FINISHED with the relationship they are in... especially when their spouse refuses counseling or positive communication.

A husband or wife can't sit around forever, being unhappy, and waiting for someone else to change.

Lots of times, i think these same people should have taken a good, hard look at the person they married, before saying "i do".

take care.

Answer 7

I don't think YA has too much effect on the divorce rate... something is happening in the relationship before they come to yahoo answers... but a lot of them answer people do tell them to get out.... because they would get out... if they was in the askers shoes.

Answer 8

It's only contributing to the divorce rate if the person asking the questions methodically listens to the answerers.

They're opinions, it doesn't meant the asker is actually going to listen.

Answer 9

Divorce is simply running away from facing ur problem, i never advised that i always say try to change for ur man or change for ur husband cos they r ur partner there is no walls or limits between them.
Go away for couple of days and try to calm and relax, think straight and dont think of the others bad things , just think of the great times and the good habits they got.
Divorce is the worst ever solution ( sometimes to be honest in little cases its needed )

Answer 10

I do see your point, and the fact that so many Yahoo users condone divorce just shows the overall opinion in society that divorce is the answer to all problems. However, anyone who makes life altering decisions solely based on what someone on Yahoo tells them, is pretty stupid in itself.