Is it ok for my husband to have a close female friend at work?

Question

My husband and his best male friend are both married but have recently become close with a third single female friend. They go out together, eat lunch together blah blah blah. My husband has been emailing and texting her more and more. My question is......is it normal for a single female to bond with two married men without having other intentions? I have never heard of this and I know would never have done it back when I was single. I trust my husband, but should I trust her?

Answer 1

Yes, it can happen & it does happen! You need to go with them to see for yourself! But if you go with jealousy on the brain - you will be the loser in this & therefore the problems will arrise! Be secure within yourself first... And befriend this gal as well! Apparently, she is OK with who she is. She may not think she is crossing a line because in her mind she has NO designs on either of these two guys... however, they respect her & like being around a strong secure woman. You be one too & you all can be having a fantastic friendship!

Answer 2

You have to be honest with your husband about how you feel. Jumping all over him and getting angry at this point might not be the best way to go. Tell him how you feel, tell him that your not comfortable with the situation, tell him that you don't feel it is appropriate for a married man to be spending that much time with an unmarried woman.

As for if it is normal or not, It is possible for men and women to be friends and JUST friends whether they are married or not. Especially in a work situation, I have been there myself worked in a male dominated field ended up with single male friends NEVER once thought about being more than friends with these people, we were just friends and i enjoyed talking to them.

But this woman may have thought the best way to get into a group and have friends at work was to pick a couple of married guys, that way there is no tension or uncomfortableness or un asked for attention

You never know what the situation is until you talk about and really your husband should have been the first person you asked

Good Luck

Answer 3

NO NO NO NO NO and again I say NO. There is no reason that a married man should have a single female friend that is not friends with his wife also. And deep down in side of you, you know that it's not right either and that's why you are questioning your self. And on top of that he shouldn't be texting or emailing her unless it is work related and work related only. HE'S MARRIED. point blank. period. Trust you husband as you should, but her intentions are not good at all, and like i said you can and should trust your husband, if he hasn't done anything to prove you otherwise, but just because you trust him doesn't mean that you can't asked questions. He committed his self to you, which means you have the right to know everything that's going on.

Answer 4

It sounds like the woman likes the attention she is getting from the married guys. If one of these men are more than attracted to her their male friendship may be a good way to cover it? You hear about way to many affairs that start up in the work place these days and I would be cautious of that. I would be a little concerned about the guy who is emailing and texting her outside of work because communicating with the woman at work is not enough! They could be headed for more than just a work relationship here when it has come to that.If these two male friends hang out together outside of work away from home I would keep my eye out and do some investegating here and follow them to see if they meet up with this woman also. If you catch the guys with her and they don't mention it to you and the other mans wife someone may be hiding something! You cannot trust anything when another woman is connecting with two married men and its not about trusting your husband here ....it is just being smart. You and the other guys wife need to get together and look into this and see what is up...I am sorry but I feel it inapproriate that they are connecting by email and texting outside of the job.....It may be building up to something that you have a chance to stop...I would be very careful here.

Answer 5

If you trust your husband, it doesn't really matter what her intentions are, right? Even if she wants romance, and he remains faithful, it would end there.

I was good friends with a married man at my old job. It was totally innocent. We started around the same time at the company & were the same age. I had no funny motives for being friends with him-I just liked him as a person, not romantically...

The only thing in all this is that he is texting her alot after work, etc. and emailing her. It's one thing to hang out at work or buddy up with someone at work, but it should be left there.

Answer 6

I did this when I worked. I hung out with some married men, and I was not interested in them at all. They seemed safe, ya know? I knew they werent going to try anything, so they were neutral territory. Mostly we made fun of the boss and talked about work junk.
So that was me. But there are other types of women out there. If your husband is hot, I might worry. There are always those predatory women. I think the texting is odd. Away from work, they shouldnt communicate much. You should ask your husband straight up what is going on. If you think he has overstepped his bounds, tell him to stop. If he loves you, he will back off.

Answer 7

Well that's the thing, you trust your husband enough to be around this woman. One if the woman is trying to move in on your territory or possibly take on two guys at one time (Threesome) then it's not really her you need to worry about it's always your husband. I personally wouldn't like the situation but this is how you do it. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. You might want to meet with this woman and get to know her pretty well. As you do she will either be friend or foe and you will get this feeling about her. Once you find out what she is and what her possible intentions are then you devise a plan to get her out of your circle of friends.

Answer 8

It's fine. Some women would do it with ulterior motives and some wouldn't. But the point is until you find a text message saying 'I loved the great s*x last night' you need to trust your husband.

I'm married and have several awesome single male friends and there is absolutely nothing going on. Maybe they're interested but the point is that I'm not, so it doesn't matter.

Answer 9

I have always bonded with men more so than women, my male : female friend ratio was probably 4 : 1

Sometimes women just get along better with men, because they don't have the cattyness and hormonal issues that women have.. espically at work.

As long as you trust him, that's all you need.
I'm married, and I still have more male friends than female, some single. My husband has always known this, and accepts it.
Also, I never leave him out of anything. I ask him to go everytime we plan on going out, he doesn't always accept, but I always ask.

Answer 10

You know, it's plain wrong for your husband and his married male friend to hang out w/ this "woman". They go out together? They eat lunch together? hmmm... and he emails her and texts her? he is obviously too invested in this female friend... if that is what she is... my guess is she gives them both bj's... you know... ugh... last I knew, it was a relationship rule to stay away from the opposite sex... fine to be nice at work and all... but, after work, his time is to be spent w/ you, not emailing her, not texting her, plain and simple... if I were you, I would ask him to stop this nonsense... no, you should not trust her... and you should give him an ultimatum, as well... stop all this contact w/ her... any work related things can remain at work... no after chats after work, at all... none! good luck... I would not put up w/ it... give a man an inch and he takes a mile... =(... and he's taking 5 miles! =(...