My ex husband has been dating a woman and she has recently moved in with him after knowing her for about 5 weeks. My son lives with him and while I was there to pick up my son for an outing, he seemed very tense and was quite abrupt and short with me while i was there. If i call the house and his new girlfriend is there, I can tell straight away, he is quite rude to me. We have been divorced for over 4 years, I have been remarried for almost 4 years and have a child to my new husband. When i went to drop my son off to his house, his girlfriend wasn't there and he was friendly, relaxed and quite talkative toward me. I don't understand why? Why does he seem so defensive?? We have been getting along really well since this new woman came into his life. Does he think I will jeopardise his new relationship in some way? His girlfriend is a lovely lady and has kids of her own. It makes me feel very uncomfortable. I just don't get it!
2007-10-19 02:16:53 · 15 answers · asked by leolady0765 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your X obviously has insecurity issues or some obscure pre conceived notion that people should be ugly to one another after divorce. Who the hell knows. Ignore it, so long as you get along ok for your child sake, you don't have to be friends.
2007-10-19 02:25:49 · answer #1 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I wouldn't touch my ex with a ten foot pole, but good luck convincing his GF of that. Back when we were still talking, if he was at work or away from her, he was civil and reasonable. If she was nearby, he'd always start an argument and be disagreeable and abusive, call me names, etc.
But I kind of understand. Mutual friends have told me that they've said things to her like, "You have a long way to go before you'll know him as well as Boo did." and "You act like he's just supposed to forget ever knowing someone that he was married to for 22 years!" I've lost almost 75 lbs. She found it. He once had a successful, completely legal business, 8 houses, etc. All he did was go to work and come home 5 or 6 days a week, and I took care of everything else.
Now, there is no business, he hasn't filed taxes since before we separated, his houses have been sold or repo'd, has several maxed out credit cards, etc. I make less than 10% of what he earns and I've kept all but 1 house. Yes, I understand why she doesn't want him anywhere near me.
2007-10-19 09:58:39 · answer #2 · answered by bonnieboobabe 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I went through the same thing with my ex and I to this day dont know if it was him or her. I do know that It has been 4 years and they have been married for 2 and I still have not met her face to face. I did move out of state though so I dont expect to at all.
He used to be rude to me like that when they were first together but he is starting to realize he has no fear with me, I do not care anything about his personal life unless it would affect our 13yo daughter.
When they first got together though he was still trying to get me to work it out with him, get back together, and I think she knew that. He stopped trying as they got close and he heard no from me enough so maybe she was slightly jealous, I dont know, dont care, did nothing but divorce him and I would think that would be a big sign of NOT wanting him anymore.
I wouldnt sweat it as long as it is not affecting you child. People are hard to get.
2007-10-19 09:54:19 · answer #3 · answered by scsspace 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe his girlfriend is the jealous type and he needs to act like he hates you when she's around. Talk to him about it and tell him that it's not good for the kids to see that inconsistency and the girlfriend needs to get over it. When there are kids involved, exes have to be dealt with in a friendly manner. If she's not ready for that, she needs to find someone who doesn't have kids.
2007-10-19 12:17:05 · answer #4 · answered by abrennan01 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when his new woman is around he doesn't want her to think that he still in some way has feelings for you but you have to communicate with him on some terms b/c he is your sons father...... It won't last long before he is probably either going to cut her compleley out of his life and find somone else so don't worry about it just try to kill him with kindness when you have to speak to him
2007-10-19 09:22:36 · answer #5 · answered by oh_jo123 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
maybe he is uncomfortable because he feels there might be some sort of confrontation OR
perhaps the new girlfriend is controlling or jealous and doesn't want him talking to you...
it could be anything. i wouldn't worry about it - you have your own marriage.
take care.
2007-10-19 09:27:45 · answer #6 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is probably worried what his girlfriend will think if he's super nice to you... it's a conversation him and his girl have not had yet... she obviously is not worried that you 2 will get back together, but, he's worried about what his girl thinks if he's nice to you... so, really, he has nothing to worry about... just don't think about it, let the 2 of them work this out... and don't bring it up to him... it's of no convern... just forget about it and deal w/ the child only... =) good luck =)
2007-10-19 09:26:30 · answer #7 · answered by elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes its not the other people. sometimes its us. Perhaps you are acting a certain way due to your worries and this is causing your son to react. Just a thought?
2007-10-19 09:30:52 · answer #8 · answered by me 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she's lovely to your face - but she might be giving him a hard time behind closed doors.
Sometimes women are like that. He just might not want to rock the boat by being nice to you.
2007-10-19 09:22:21 · answer #9 · answered by Roland'sMommy 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
his girlfriend is obviously jealous of the history you and your ex had together and is insecure that you may get back together! she probably is constantly jibing your ex about you! you should feel a bit sorry for her really as she sounds extremely insecure and you are not!
2007-10-19 09:21:28 · answer #10 · answered by badgermonk 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋