My 15 year old daughter just came to live with me. She lived with her father from age 10 to 15. I live in a different state than her father.
She keeps throwing tantrums while studying. Last night, she was studying for a Chemistry test and then all of sudden she started pushing me and threw all of her books around. She then started crying and would not study for about 1 hour.
I tried to leave her alone and she said "Thanks for making me fail." I then ended up staying up until 11 p.m. to quiz her for her test. My father also made a test for her and she finally did it at 11:30 p.m.
She keeps sayings that she hates living with me and has given up on school and wants to get a D.
Then, she says that "We don't get along."
I don't know how to handle her. If I leave her alone to study, she ends up getting D's. If I try to help her, she fights me and gets upset.
What should I do?
2007-10-19 02:01:21 · 12 answers · asked by Stareyes 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
get her some counciling. she is much much to old to be acting this way.
2007-10-19 02:11:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Can you talk to your ex and find out how she reacted to school work when she lived with him? See if he has any advice to give you?
I would try to make her comfortable, give her a clutter free calm place to study. No homework in front of the TV! Don't make her do her homework as soon as she walks in the door. Let her come home and relax and have a snack, then in about an hour she can tackle the homework. Check with her teachers and see if she needs some extra help. You could set up study dates with her friends...she most likely wont throw a fit if she has a friend over.
Also she gets rewards for good grades...and consequences for bad ones. My child would loose her cell phone and computer privileges if she brings home bad grades. If she gets good ones then she can pick something she would like (I can Veto if it is too expensive or I don't agree with it) like going to a real salon to get her hair done and not "Corner Clips" with her little brother. I'll maybe buy her that trendy shirt I would normally not spend the money on.
Just give her some time to adjust to this new way of life.
Good luck!
2007-10-19 11:59:20 · answer #2 · answered by Lorie N 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First off you need to get to the bottom of the problem. Sounds like you both need to do councling together. She might have ADD and gets frustrated that she cant concentrate and mad at everyone around her because they dont understand what shes going thro but to embaressed to say anything. Try talking about it off the books catch a time when shes not stuyding and you are both getting along and ask her why she has outburst. Shes 15 and should no better so she should have an reason!!
2007-10-19 09:22:58 · answer #3 · answered by abailey_69 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
She is probably just trying to get used to living with you. When you live with someone for a long period of time, and then your shipped to someone else, there is going to be a adjusting period. And by her acting out, this is her way of dealing with the stress of her move. Just try to stick with it, and do as much as you can to help her. One thing my mom did when my youngest brother would act out and wouldnt want to study, she wouldnt make him sit at the table until he did it. Some days were harder then others, but once he realized that he was missing out on 'going out to play' he started doing his homework when he got home from school versus after dinner...Good luck..Good thing I have about 10 more years until I have to deal with the 'teen' years (I have a 3 and 1 yr old)
2007-10-19 09:13:12 · answer #4 · answered by MayMay 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
tell her that education is important even if she doesn't like it right now it may help her in the future then tell her if she hates living with you so much then she is more than welcome to go back and live with her dad, if dad is deceased or not willing then just tell her she can make her own living arrangements. I know how hard this must be for you my son went through something similar he lived with his grandparents for 3.5yrs after i broke my back and when he came home he was like well "nana lets me do this" and "i never had to do that at nana's" but it did get better.
2007-10-19 09:12:06 · answer #5 · answered by Wishmaster 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that nobody is making her fail but herself. She is choosing to fail by acting like that. If you try to help her and she gets mad at tries to fight you, tell her she's on her own and leave the room. Let her get a D or two, but let her know that if she DOES get lower than a C, she is going to be punished.
2007-10-19 09:33:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would definitely not help her study. If she acts this way, tell her you will not help her because she is not respecting you. If she fails then she fails. She can blame you all she wants, but it's not your fault. Do not allow her to be disrespectful, or she will just believe she is entitled to be.
2007-10-19 09:52:58 · answer #7 · answered by Daybreak 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
it once occured to me when i spent all my time with my aunt at secondary school when i came back to dad after 6yrs, but soonest got use to him therefore, give her a short time to get use to you.
2007-10-19 09:31:03 · answer #8 · answered by rhema 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why do you ask this question four times every week? You need to get off the computer and talk to your kids. That simple.
2007-10-19 09:23:23 · answer #9 · answered by ☆ღWifey Wifeyღ☆ 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Take things away from the little brat.
2007-10-19 09:10:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋