I found out from a friend that he volunteered for a deployment beginning in the Spring. I asked him if we could go on a vacation this summer, hoping he would tell me something. He said "I don't see why not".
Now I found out that he is supposed to go to a school for his deployment in November and he hasn't mentioned this. Why hasn't he said anything to me?
2007-10-19 01:31:38 · 13 answers · asked by torn 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Welcome to the military life. My fiance is in the air force and I have been through this more times than I can count. In fact, he told me literally 2 weeks ago that he was going to be deployed over christmas (again---has been deployed every christmas for the last 4 yrs) and then a week later, found out that he wasn't. Your boyfriend may just be waiting to find out for sure that he is going so he doesn't get you upset for no reason. Right now----he just VOLUNTEERED-that does not mean it is a for sure thing. Just remember-if he volunteered, he may have been looking out for your two's relationship..maybe if he deployed this spring, it would increase his chances of only being gone for 2 or 4 months instead of 2 years. or maybe it would allow him a greater chance of being home during christmas next year as well.
I recommend you just come straight out and ask him instead of beating around the bush. Just tell him that so-and-so mentioned something about him being deployed.....is that true? The only way to find out what is going on is to ask him. If it is true, just be honest with him and ask why he didn't tell you sooner...that you would have much rather heard this from him and not some other source.
2007-10-19 04:37:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How did you find out that he is supposed to go to school?
Maybe he was thinking about volunteering and then decided not to but never told the friend.
Why don't you just question him? Tell him "Friend said that you've volunteered for a deployment and that you have to go to school in November, is this true?" and go from there. Your friend may be misinformed and you're worrying over nothing.
If he is hiding it from you, it's probably to keep you from worrying and being upset.
2007-10-19 02:31:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It might not be a matter of him hiding anything. Deployment dates change right up until the day they leave (for ex...my husband was told his 1st deployment would be in April 04, then it was aug 04, then Nov 04....he finally left in Jan 05) He might just be waiting to find out for sure. As far as the school.....well I can think of a few times my husband had to be gone for a week or more and didn't say anything until right before he left. Was he trying to hide it? No...he thought he'd told me! Sometimes guys just forget to tell you things (I have alot of friends who have the same thing with their husbands or boyfriends) Just stop waiting for him to tell you and ask him if he has school or if he volunteered for a deployment. It's really just that simple ;-)
2007-10-19 01:40:38 · answer #3 · answered by . 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you grow up, sit him down, look him straight in the eye and ask. He may not want you to jump off the deep end and end it just because he is deploying. He may have fears that you wont be here, so why tell her months in advance.
And I have one question for you, knowing that he is going to be deployed, why are sneaking around trying to find out information, instead of asking the source?
2007-10-19 02:10:39 · answer #4 · answered by Beatngu 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesnt know anything concrete yet. What is there to tell at this point? Certainly it is a good idea to know the facts for yourself before sharing details with someone else. Stop beating around the bush about what you think you might know, just ask him. Anyway, maybe he doesnt want to share with you because you go around prying in HIS business and you are sneaky.
2007-10-19 02:12:42 · answer #5 · answered by Miss Molly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you sneaking behind his back?Just ask him.I think going to school is very important.So don't down him for wanting to.Maybe he hasn't told you because you would throw a fit and act like a child instead of a responsible person and back him up on the plan he has.
2007-10-19 01:55:23 · answer #6 · answered by lollypop 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Are you sure this guy is your boyfriend? He either dreads to tell you, or he doesnt feel he needs to. Ask him. Then ask him why he didnt tell you, but I'm sure you thought of that one.
2007-10-19 01:42:29 · answer #7 · answered by Emily 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can tell that this relationship isn't going to last much longer. Neither one of you can communicate honestly. So what does it matter what he does? You're not going to be with him for long anyway.
2007-10-19 13:26:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Instead of sneaking around behind his back why don't you simply ask him? I imagine he doesn't know how to tell you, or he's trying to tell you something.
2007-10-19 01:37:07 · answer #9 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
For starters you need to just ask him about it. And next he might be about to break up with...
2007-10-19 02:07:55 · answer #10 · answered by Spring 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋