Is this true for you? My mother was way too close and my father too far. This is why I became gay.?

Question

I've known a lot of gay men in my day, and this is true for more than half of them. How about you?

it's true for me, it is the reason I became gay. statistically, it should be true for a lot of the people who post here. just looking for honesty here

but was it true for you? you don't have to prove it to the world

-- probably works in reverse for girls -- broken relationship with mother, maybe overly protective father.... of course I don't know that much about wome...

Answer 1

I don't think so....with the exception of when I told them I was gay .....I was always closer with my father.....after I told them it was my mom who came around first and ensured me that they loved me and to give my dad time..... I'm still closer with my dad......

Answer 2

Personally? No. I had both parents and was very close to my father -- less so to my mother. However given known statistics gathered by the Census department -- for example, more than 60% of children born in 1990 and after spend a portion of their growing up in a home without their father - and given that substantive sociological research demonstrates that fathers are more distant from their children -- including sons -- than are mothers, even in nuclear families, to begin with -- the only way that more than 50% of gay bois could possibly have closer relationships with their fathers than with their mothers would be if closeness to the father caused homosexuality -- another words -- the percentage is in keeping proportionally with the number of bois in the general community as a whole that are too close to their mothers and too distant from their fathers.

Therefore -- while true -- your statistic is predictable if you assume that gays are just like everyone else in this regard -- and so, meaningless in any sociological or psychological context.

I hope that information helped. I'm not sure how to phrase it better.

Have a great day.

Kind thoughts,

Reyn
[e-mail]

Answer 3

Well I guess that has to do with the whole nature vs. nurture debate. Are you trying to say you chose to be gay? And if you ask me, a mother being very close and a father not being close enough should be the other way around, men should be uncomfortable with males and very comfortable with females, on paper they should be the straightest men in the world. That is why that whole close mother thing doesn't cut it for me. I believe you are born with your sexual orientation. Plus what about families with multiple children? If there mother is close will all the kids turn out gay? I've never heard of that happening. I'm sorry but I don't believe that how you are raised results in your sexuality. Thousdands of children grow up without fathers or without mothers and it doesn't affect their sexuality whatsoever.

Answer 4

my father was distant and my mom overprotective and i'm not gay. in highschool my best friend (a girl) had an overprotective father and a distant mother and she became gay.
i think you are right in a way but the truth is more complex really. it's what message you get or want to get from your dominant figure in the family. the inner dynamics of the soul are very delicate and each must carefully evaluate what role each influence played in the shaping of their preferences. but if you feel this way, it is probably true. on the other hand, most fathers are distant and mothers are closer, or at least they were in the older generation.

Answer 5

I dont think it matters, at the end of the day. What is more important is how you live each day. This is not some Pollyanna s**t. If I had stopped my life because of how people treated me in high school (when they knew I was gay) I would never have known that there is a whole wide world of people just like me. And you know what? It's ok to be gay.
And gay people have more supporters than they think they have.

Answer 6

i undoubtedly agree that male have an impact on makes for much less promiscuous women. they by and large think like if they are getting any sort of awareness from men, it makes up for now not having a in charge grownup male of their existence. they normally do not observe that's what is going on, both. I can seem again whilst I was once in top college, and plenty of the ones varieties of women had no father round, or had a strained dating with their dads. i had a small institution of rather near peers, and all of us had well father/daughter relationships and all graduated top college as virgins. i am not seeking to say that each one women with out dads are going to be like that, or that each one the ones varieties of women have daddy problems, however this can be a very natural factor.

Answer 7

My mother wasnt too close and my father isnt too distant. I think sometimes gay people mistake the lack of ability to relate to their father as a distance caused by their father. I never cared for football this is not because my father didnt nurture this it just wasnt for me. He treated my older brother exactly the same and he is straight. And today even though i dont have as many "male" grounds to relate to my father I think I am as close to him as masculinely possible.

What im trying to communicate at the same time as telling you about my experience is that your sexuality could have determined your relationship with you father and not the other way around.

Answer 8

I think its the fact that most fathers of gays/lesbians can't understand their child to start with, like they would understand their child more if they were straight.

I was never close to my father. I was very attached to my mum when I was a young kid.

I think the close mum, far dad situation is because the child is gay/les, not the reason why someone would turn out to be gay/les.

Answer 9

Chances are neither of your parents wanted you to be gay. I never wanted to be close to my father. I'm bi and did not turn out feminime, so no I dont think it was nothing that made me bi. It seems the absence of a father would draw me closer to women. I still did the masculine things like race, hunt, fish, etc...

Answer 10

My parents are still married to this day--we grew up in a "Leave it to Beaver" type house in the suburbs with a nice house, a dog and even a picket fence.

My dad was always around to teach me how to throw a football, and my mom was never overbearing.

I'm gay and my sister is a lesbian. Your theory fails the test.

Answer 11

it isn't to me... my father always worked only three days a week so most of the time I was with him, not my mom...

I can't explain why I'm gay... but this theory of yours may be true in must of the cases.