This is for college. This student invited a few of us to practice something for school. The problem is that it's at his house and I already said that I would go. Now that I see that the majority of the people have canceled, I want to cancel too. I'm afraid that his feeling will be hurt. He is new to the United States so he is really friendly. I helped him out with a lot of the things, but I feel bad about going. Uncomfortable and I have a bunch of things I need to do. I feel sick to my stomach. What excuse should I come up with? I'm canceling last minute. Why do I care about others. It sucks. Advice. Excuse?
2007-10-19 00:26:11 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
Excuses are cowardly... we must face the situation and let others too face their situation. The trouble with you is not that you can not work up a good excuse.... it is more to do with your indecision... you are in two minds.... just make up your mind with courage and the rest will fall in place. Our concern for others is often hypocrisy and that is why we get into two minds and put up excuses to cover up our real intentions. This whole thing about lying so as not to hurt others' feelings is hypocrisy..... we want to have the cake as well as to eat it... we should firmly make up our mind and face the consequences courageously one way or another. If you feel too uncomfortable because others have canceled, then you skip it and say precisely that as the reason. On the other hand, if you do not want to hurt his feelings, then you should go and face whatever discomfort you expect. You will be surprised as to how simple life becomes once we make up our mind one way or another because we then begin to move forward rather than standing still procrastinating.
Hope this advice from my experience helps.
2007-10-19 01:00:51 · answer #1 · answered by small 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is obvious that something ELSE is disturbing you and you are hesitating to go due to that. For example , if that person had been an American, would you go ? Yes. you would as you would think that your countrymen are predictable. But, perhaps, because he is not from your land you are feeling , may be insecure. Understandable.
I feel you should give value to your inner call. If you went with that insecure feeling you will not be yourself at his home. You would be fidgetty, nervous and you will give away your true feelings. That will/could make that friend sad. Later , with the other friends of yours behaving normally with him , you would feel guilty and so would he.
Why take such a chance?
I would rather tell him that the very purpose of getting together was for a particular school cause. Now that you had heard that the others had opted out , for the present, You felt that it will serve no purpose your coming alone there and the whole thing had to be done again. You suggest to him that he should reschedule the meet sometime when most are available.
At that point of time he might still say that you two could still meet. There you be firm and say that you will him with the others .Be firm.
2007-10-19 01:22:40 · answer #2 · answered by YD 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You said you had a bunch of things to do, so why would you need an excuse? The truth shall set you free.
On the other hand, if the real reason you have for cancelling is that, as you state "everybody else is", I don't see that that's such a big deal. It sounds like you're more concerned about image and popularity than anything else. As you're just entering college, you're getting to be at an age where what the group does becomes less important and it will become more and more important to you to find your own way in life and decide where you want to be.
Simply put, if you want to go, it shouldn't matter who else is going, you should just go. If you don't want a go, ditto. But you don't need to make up an excuse. Lies just lead to more lies and more discomfort.
2007-10-19 00:49:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First you need to honestly decide why you are changing your mind. Is it because the majority is canceling or because you have other things to do that take priority? If you are just following the majority than you should take another look in the mirror--do you really like the person looking back at you. If you have other priorities then so be it. When you can't think of a good lie, go with the truth.
2007-10-19 01:23:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you had a legitimate reason for cancelling, that would be one thing. However, you said that you want to cancel because "the majority of people have cancelled". Is that really a good reason? How would you feel if you were in his place and everyone bailed on you?
2007-10-19 00:31:48 · answer #5 · answered by kcchaplain 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
try finds , if there was any good reason that you can find , if not , then , that's will mean , you should not cancel it's for only because the majorities had done so. If , the majorities was rights , then , you should have a good reason for to cancel his invitation of whatever.loll.
2007-10-19 00:59:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont cancel I think you should go. It will make both of you feel much better. A lie will make you feel bad for a long time. I like your sentence " he is new to the USA so he is really friendly" and I think it reflects how you feel. Eventhough you are not new to the USA be friendly and go over there.
2007-10-19 00:39:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh i'm so like you, thats the thing about having a conscience, its no fun at all, you'll feel bad for the entire night if you dont go, why dont you suggest rescheduling. if its something you're practicing wont you need a good few of ye there, and they wont feel like everyone is just blowing them off if you have a new date
2007-10-19 00:35:53 · answer #8 · answered by mags_dbee 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best excuses are "emergency" ones like sick grandma, accidents, diarrhea usually shuts just about anyone up, car problems, pink eye, need to babysit sibling or something similar. Why are you sick over not wanting to go? Is it that bad?
2007-10-19 00:33:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest, tell him you are sick in the stomach, and you have a lot of things you need to attend to, tell him maybe another time, you'll be able to make it.. You don't have to make any other excuses that will mAke you feel guilty afterwards.
2007-10-19 03:47:12 · answer #10 · answered by oscar c 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋