this just came up b/c of a discussion with a g/f about her marriage. Her and her hubsand were fighting over porn and she was like well don't you get mad when your husband looks.
I was like honestly no. I don't mind him looking at porn, b/c to me that is different than him going to strip bar or looking at real women (i know these are real as well but its not like he is going to hook up with Belladonna or who ever) and plus it saves me from having sex when I really don't want to.
She seemed shocked. I did mention that their is a certain point that (some of you all might remember my questions last week) to me shouldn't be crossed though, getting pics from women that we know (real women) sexual chatting ect. But watching a porn or looking at some nude shots on line, doesn't bother me.
Does that make me weird?
I did tell her though that I thought if she really didn't like it then out of respect her husband shouldn't look. That caused a whole other conversation with my husband lol.
2007-10-18 23:44:47 · 34 answers · asked by his wife 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
*L* I made it soundl ike I never want sex, thats not true but porn comes in handy when you don't want sex b/c of morning sickness lol.
We watch it together soemtimes, but most the time I'm like eh, go for it babe. He would rather watch it alone b/c I sometimes have a bunch of smart a*s comments to make lol.
2007-10-19 00:01:50 · update #1
Its kinda funny that some people find it odd, that I don't want to have sex with my husband...So I'm restating, I'm pregnant and the thought of moving even to walk, makes me sick, really bad morning sickness, so the thought of having sex, yeah not happening. Whats so weird about that. Its not like I never want to have sex, I would rather not puke while doing so ;)
2007-10-19 00:28:55 · update #2
No, it sounds like you and your husband have a trusting relationship, and a rock solid one at that, and it sounds like your friend has a communication problem with her husband and trust issues with him also. You and your husband are fine, you are secure, you have a wonderful relationship, you trust eachother, and you love eachother.
Your friend, on the other hand has a lot to work on with her husband! They should go to counseling!
You sound like you are a really good friend, and you go with the flow in your marriage, and you talk to your husband about things, that is wonderful!!!! You two sitting down, and talking about the issues of the day, whatever they may be, is wonderful!!!! You go!!!!
I think you gave her opinion, and now she has to take your advice, and talk and communicate her "issues" with her husband.
You did your job, you are a wonderful friend, now it is up to her to do her job and communicate with her husband!
2007-10-18 23:53:19 · answer #1 · answered by carriegreen13 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
LOL, your g/f is just insecure or uptight or something. Me and my man watch porn together too. I am the same way, I kind of hope he watches a little sometimes when I don't feel like giving it up, and sometimes he will watch some porn then come to bed and PUT IT DOWN, lol. Porn helps a relationship I think. Now if your man is addicted to porn and would rather watch it than make love to her THAT IS A PROBLEM and I agree, porn from women you know is crossing a line and sexual chatting with another woman is grounds for a definate timeout from the goodies :)
2007-10-19 02:05:28 · answer #2 · answered by Jazzie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you're weird that makes me weird too. I've had almost the same conversation with friends. I just don't have a problem with porn at all. Many other women do. We've always had a very healthy sex life. I am not his mother, I am his wife. He looks at porn on occasion, sometimes we watch together. It's never been a detriment to our sex and if anything it enhances it. I think women who freak about it push the men to look and hide it even more. That's just not the kind of marriage I want. I prefer being open and honest with each other. Not controlling. He's an adult that I share a life with, not a child for me to control. :)
2007-10-19 02:56:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well my husband is away alot for work so No I don't care if he looks a porn i even buy it for him sometimes. I would rather have him look at the porn then getting frustraded and finding another woman. and he likes it with the lights on so I have no fear about does he think he is with one of those girls while with me. and when he is home sometimes we watch together. and while he is gone everytime he comes home he always has either a new toy or a new movie or book for me to read a gift for the bedroom. also one we can open in front of the kids and no its not a bedroom item let me asure you. like a ring or something. so no I use it and so does he and we have a very normal and happy sex life other then he takes for ever. like four or five hours for onetime.
2007-10-19 01:40:07 · answer #4 · answered by sunshine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't care but at the same time I do. I'm not threatened by it, if it is used correctly. Problems arise if it becomes an obsession or an addiction. Then I would care. If he is only looking at it occasionally, that is fine with me. I think some women have an issue with it no matter what, but for a lot of women, the reason they care is because it has become an issue in their relationship. For the ones that don't care if they look, most likely that is because their spouses do it within what the wives consider reasonable.
Since he does it as often as you find reasonable, you don't care, but I bet if he started doing it every day 10 times a day or more, or every chance he got, you would start to have a problem with it.
2007-10-19 00:42:24 · answer #5 · answered by ♦justme♦ 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No I don't think you are weird at all, but I would have thought so five years ago. In my marriage I would have never accepted it, but I had little to no reason to trust my exH in any way. After the divorce, the first man I dated watched it and I really expected all of those insecurities to resurface, but they didn't. I now beleive that you have to allow a person to feel free enough to be themselves if you expect any real honesty from them. And when people run up against judgements and arguments for being honest, they learn that it is better to hide things or lie. In my opinion, THAT can be dangerous for a relationship.
2007-10-19 00:52:39 · answer #6 · answered by bonnieboobabe 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, I wouldn't consider watching porn at home and chatting to women on line the same.
Watching blue movies, is something a couple can indulge in together, to set the right mood to get into something of their own, sometimes.
Chatting to women on line, while being married, is not correct and disrespectful.
I think that being on a dating web site when one is married, is definitely looking for trouble!
2007-10-19 00:00:26 · answer #7 · answered by Kc 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I, for one, do not think you are weird. I agree on pretty much everything you just said. I do not care if my fiance watches porn, but I think getting pics from women online or sexual chatting is inappropriate. But if the wife feels uncomfortable, then the husband should respect her wishes.
2007-10-18 23:48:42 · answer #8 · answered by Scooter_The_Squirrels_Wifey 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
personally, we have a no porn rule in our house, we have kids in the house is the biggest reason, and it makes the other partner feel inadequate, among other reasons, and, most of the people I know in person that do watch it... the porn led to cheating... because the porn becomes not enough as well... people want to act on what they see, they think what is done in the movies is normal... or do what they see in the movies... threesomes, etc... what kind of environment is that for children to be in??? =(... does it make you weird? maybe not, but, it does make a person immoral... I believe that people who watch porn think about it too often... and thinking about sex more often than one should is a bad thing... go clean house or something like I saw someone say on here the other day... as for your friend, her man should stop knowing it upsets her...if he don't stop he only cares about his private parts, not her... the relationship w/ the spouse is more important than how one's private parts feel watching porn! and that's what I think... people should stop if it upsets their spouse =(...
2007-10-19 00:12:53 · answer #9 · answered by elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I have never had a problem with just porn, but sexual chats and exchanging pics online is strictly a no-no. I am like you, sometimes when I am tired, it is nice to have a substitute for me right ther in the house where I know that he is not with someone else.
2007-10-18 23:49:51 · answer #10 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋