Someone hurts you? Whose mistake is it? Actually you allowed them to do? Don’t you think so?

Question

You should take an oath that it is my life and no one has any right to take happiness away from me.

You are the one who allow others to do what they are doing to you. I you stop them, you can be happy.
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Answer 1

i guess in a way i have let other people hurt me....i am too trusting and have opened my heart to other people way too much...by doing this it seems i have given them permission to do what they want with me...in this sense they have taken advantage of my trust and my friendship....

but i think it is unfair to put up defenses against all people especially if it was someone else who have hurt us....it is unfair not to give the best of yourself because of a bad experience you've had with someone else...that's why i continue to trust and yes...that's why i still get hurt...

Answer 2

I'm not sure I agree with you. I can see your point in terms of adult relationships, the regular give and take of daily living - those petty offenses that happen at work or around the house. But, this seems like an over-generalization. I have had some experiences where someone did something cruel/abusive coming from out in left field somewhere. So, in these experiences I think the one who hurt me is responsible. I had to learn not to be a victim even though I was victimized. Its not an easy thing to learn. Does that make sense?

Answer 3

I agree. This reminds me of what my mom usually tell me. When I tell my mom that someone is laughing at me. My mom would always tell me that, only when u look at them u can see that they are making fun of u. IF u don't look at them, u won't see them.

I read this somewhere- any bad comments or feelings that u get from othe people are like the gifts that they give us. We have the right to accept these gifts and keep it as our own or just refuse it. But remember, when u refuse that gift, whose would that gift be ?? the person who originally had it would be its owner. I always tell this to my younger cousins. When someone calls u a bad name, consider it life a gift. U can just not accept it. If u won't accept it, whose would that gift be? the person who called u that name would be the owner. I guess that makes my cousins feel better. If v just try to ignore their comments our life would be much easier. But the people who worry too much about what others think, always end up in a mess.

Answer 4

You are so right when someone hurts us, it is because we let them, in a way we gave our permission.I don't raise my voice to anyone and I will not tolerate anyone raising their voice to me. If they try I tell them to find someone else who would put up with that because I won't! (just because they can shout doesn't make them right.) If you lose your temper then your brain doesn't think as fast and I will out think you and win the dispute. I will not allow anyone to step on my toes. I will not allow anyone to abuse me in any way nor do I abuse them in any way. Verbal, mental, physical, it can be abuse and it can only happen if you allow it. I am a very happy soul because I don't allow these things into my life
I have a policy at my home "Turmoil may not pass through my front gates" and it works very well.

Answer 5

If a person allows another to hurt them,it is not their fault,they cannot control another persons actions,however,if they continue to let that person hurt them repetitively, they do play a part in the blame game..
Affairs of the heart are more vulnerable and uncontrollable than the Family aspect on this subject as well..=)

Answer 6

I do believe its a balancing act and it takes lots of practice to get it right. I say this because I've learned over recent years that my life is not all about me. I certainly allow myself to be emotionally vulnerable to my wife and children, to my brother and sisters, too.

People at work? Not so much. People at church? Somewhat, but not as much as my family.

My sense is, that over the long haul of life, I'll be able to look back and say I had a happy life.... its all good. :)

respects

Answer 7

hi gEnTLe m@n....

Bro, thousands of people have hurt me.

But dude i dont think that it's my fault. Even if i take the oath that its my life and none can take happiness from me, but still happiness is gone from my life.

But you know what???

I have changed my attitude towards life completely. Now i never ever give tensions, depressions and worries my first priority. My first priority is alwayz masti and fun.

I have led my half life very dead but now i want to enjoy my life.

As , if i'll stay happy, that will make my mother also happy.

And i feel that my bro will surely support me in my this adopted attitude towards life....tc....sweet dreamz....bye....

*****dO w@tEvEr uR hE@rT $@yZ...*****.

Answer 8

if any one hurts u; actually it depends up on the human tendency of such a person who is hurts anybody.Again we have to think on that how importance should we give for such person.
Some times these peoples are may be dominating nature.
My opinion is that u ignore such person till they are not doing any harmful activities

Answer 9

That's it. It is what you allow.....I remind myself of that some times when I think how dare they, and really it is how dare me! You don't have to take anything you don't want to unless you are a hostage or at gun point....options always options!

Answer 10

sometimes u knw thngs look big wen u thnk them to be...itz lik a mirror the way u look into it is the way u feel!!wen u take thngs in ur stride everything seems bright and cheery..and yeah no one can hurt us as long as we don take it!!!

but if we take thngs seriously then itz gonna make life hell..so i usually take a chill pill!!!!