This is a hard question to ask, due to the fact i am responsible for this whole mess?

Question

I am going to enter a drug rehab in ca. I am ashamed of myself but realize that I need help before my drug addiction becomes all-consuming. My mom who is in her eighty’s has Alzheimer’s and has had a lung problem for sometime. The drug rehab is six months and is out of the town that I live in. What keeps going around and around in my head is there is a great possibility she might die, while I am gone. I love her so deeply, and she still recognizes me on and off, and knows it is me when I stroke her hair. I wonder if I can live with myself, if something did happen to her, yet also know this might be the only time I will have to get help. I totally take responsibility for my addiction and could kick myself for being so selfish and making bad choices. I realize that i might be projecting too far into the future, but the reality of it, is not unrealistic or dumb. Does anyone have advice or know someone who has had the same situation or experienced this kind of heart ach

Answer 1

hiya I myself have been through a terrible time with drugs your mum is obviously a very important issue at this time. but you know as well as i do the drug cycle when entered is hard to break if this may be your last chance to save your own life then you have to do this the fact that you are writing shows you really want help to become drug free which shows a great chance of this happening. we can all easily slip into the cycle of drugs the old saying it will not happen to me unfortunately this is not true if i had a penny for the amount of times i have lied and hurt people including my family and children i would be sitting on a fortune you are caught up in guilt and low self estem your confidence will also be shattered rehabilitation will see you through all these issues with councellors and other professionals . you will become a stronger person i definitely did although i was scared of the unknown i knew a had to go and get the last chance to save myself and my children it was the hardest thing i had to do. i cant begin to imagine how you must be feeling about your mother but i know she would understand and would be much more at peace knowing you are okay. i suggest you stroke your mothers hair and explain you are going to help yourself to a better life before it is also to late for you, your mother may be around for a while yet. right now you do not have time take your only chance of a better life and become drug free this is the best thing you can give your mother as i know she will be proud even writing letters to be read out to her or telephoning when you can to tell her how you are doing she may not seem to understand but i bet she understands and would love nothing more than to know you are getting better and increasing your chances of a better life taking with you great memories of your mother,your mother has lived her life take your only chance of living yours i wish you all the luck in the world and would love to know how you progress you can do this i promise good luck to you and i know your mother will be smiling on the inside because she to will have every faith in you keep on smiling and please take this opportunity it may not happen again take the one and only chance you have good luck there is a whole new world out there waiting for you x

Answer 2

It is a very wise decision to go to rehab and I would encourage you to go.See if you can make some arrangements beforehand, like see if a social worker/nurse/carer or someone else known to you and your Mother, can regularly report to you of her condition. I am sure there is someone who could do that for you. A friend maybe? What if you were to go see her Dr or Gp and ask him/her to let you know immediately if there is any problem with your Mother. Just see him and tell him what you have told us here.
Lastly, don't beat yourself up about the past. We all make stupid mistakes throughout our lifetime but not everyone learns from those mistakes or even takes responsibility for them. You have. I have never taken drugs but I have made other bad choices. My Mum is 92 and I feel kind of like you in that I can't go anywhere for fear something might happen to her while I'm away, but we can't live like that. Get some support and then take this time for YOU.

Answer 3

Hun listen. You can't help anyone without first helping yourself. I understand you wanting to be with your mom at htis time but what help can you be if you don't help your self? I commend you for going to rehab. I know how hard it is to loose your mother. I lost mine 2 years ago, although I never got into the drug seen it is very hard. Think of it this way ( sorry to put it like this) What if you didn't go to rehab and were stoned out of your mind and takeing care of your mom and she passed away? How would you feel then and just think how your mom would feel if it was another illness that she passed from. Your mom would want you to take care of yourself first. I hope these words help you. and I hope you can can spend time with your mom. But you need to get the help first.

Answer 4

Get your help. If your mother could tell you, she would say the same thing. I am a mother, and I would rather my children take care of a problem like that, than worry about me in my old age. I want to know that when I am gone they will be able to take care of themselves, and have happy lives. I would bet my life that your mother would feel that way too! Just have someone else visit occasionally, and keep telling your mother that you will be back as soon as you can.

Answer 5

You have to move to the courtroom for custody. Maybe she left you considering you were not marrying her. Maybe any person else charmed her. Talk to her by way of any person that's. Talk to one in all her peers and ship messages no longer straight to her however not directly. Judge Judy herself mentioned "whilst will the mummy notice that fathers are identical moms and dads." She is among the smartest judges in the market. Another factor: inform her that a youngster does not should be on this mess. All kids reside bigger below one roof with two moms and dads and no step siblings or part siblings.

Answer 6

Well it's really up to you but depending on what you're addicted to and how badly you're addicted, you should also ask yourself what if you died because of the drugs and weren't there to visit and care for your mother. I'm not saying go or don't go but just make sure to look at both sides.

Answer 7

Well.. Such a problem here..
I think what you should do.. as mean as this sounds.. stay with your mother until she passes. She doesn't sound in a very good condition right now. So maybe you could focus on your drug addiction, and get help from doctors and such that are already in your area, so you don't have to leave your mother.
Difficult decision, i know.
But hang in there.
Good luck.

Answer 8

Is there a way you can visit her on a weekly basis? Then if things should turn for the worse (God forbid) you'll be able to change your plans. It sounds like you really care about your mom and that makes me feel like you have it in you to do what's best for both you and those you love.