My girlfriend of 2 years and I would like to get married next year. She is from Canada and I am from the US. The only problem is.. I want to have enough money saved up before I marry her because I don't want to make any mistake, especially when it comes to our future finances. Anyways, I'm thinking that I should have at least a new car + $30,000 saved up.. I am still a couple of years from graduating from college, so I want to make sure that we're stable enough. She doesn't want me to wait another year to save that money up.. so, what should I do?? am I selfish to want soo much money and how much did you have (savings) when you first got married? Please help to ease my stress because it's pretty bad!!!
2007-10-18 19:58:57 · 17 answers · asked by gododjgjodjod 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Am I just wrong to think this or is it true.. Don't most people these days have thousands of dollars saved up?? i fell like I need to be like one of those people.
2007-10-18 20:09:37 · update #1
Sounds like you have a closer relationship with money than you do with your girlfriend
2007-10-18 20:02:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's good that you are thinking that far down the line. Most people don't even think two weeks ahead in their life.
Now, with that said, $30,000 seems like an awful lot of money to have plus a new car for a non-college graduate. Not that it is a bad thing at all. That is a good amount to have saved. A good rule of thumb, as any financial advisor will give you, is to have 6 months of your income saved in an account where it can be readily available in a short period of time. I would not recommend a NEW NEW car, unless in meaning new, you are refering to a newer used car. That, I can understand. Also a good rule of thumb is to buy a car cash, and at least 2 years old.
I am also understanding that this money you are saving is not for the actual marriage. If you are going to pay for your marriage day etc... then that is a different story.
Just make sure that all of these goals are not just for you to delay the marriage. Only you can decide this.
I also would like to mentiont that you may get better tax breaks as a couple and if you get married sooner, it could help your financial plan to develop better/faster.
Don't stress. It is not worth it. You will figure it out. Keep the communication lines open with your GF.
IF you are a person of Faith, pray about it and do that together with your GF.
*EDIT*
No, most people do not have thousand of dollars saved up. That is why so many people are in hot water with credit, bills, and the huge foreclosures that are going on in the housing markets accross the US.
That doesn't make it rigth though. Success principals are success principals. You need to have 6-12 months saved in the bank at least and I would even go so far as to have at least 1-2 months money invested in GOLD.
2007-10-19 03:16:19 · answer #2 · answered by Eddie C 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
How on earth are you going to save that much money while you're in college? If you really love this person then go ahead and get married. Most young couples don't have a lot starting out, but they can build a future together. I wonder if you're using the money issue as an excuse because you're not sure if you're ready for marriage emotionally, or if it's the right time in your life for you. Well you will have to find your own answers about that.
2007-10-19 03:08:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you talked to her about sharing those goals? The two of you will have to be working and you should plan to use birth control until you can afford for her not to work. If you're a couple of years away from graduation, why not plan to marry right after graduation? You need some time to plan a wedding. It will give you time to both talk about saving money and starting putting some aside. Weddings have a way of attracting cash wedding gifts too, not that it will solve your problems but it will help things.
She probably just wants a date set in stone. You both can take the time to plan and save.
I married - the first and only time - later in life but before that, I had very little savings. Together, it's easier to save money when both of you work and consolidate expenses.
2007-10-19 03:07:21 · answer #4 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Money is the number 1 reason why people divorce. It is also the number one reason that couples argue.
As far as having a car and 30k in savings- I would say you are either dreaming or you will have a career that I can only dream about (please contact me if the latter is the case).
Having a savings is great, but I will tell you the best thing to have is zero debt, if you can do that well the money will slide right into your pocket.
If you love her, and she loves you- you should wait, have her start saving and paining off credit cards and such, get that debt to zero and keep it there. If she can do that for you, you have a keeper.
Good luck.
2007-10-19 03:06:01 · answer #5 · answered by Harmon 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
don't worry about the money. set up a budget now to deal with the money you do have and you can expand upon that as your income increases. You do want to have money in the bank before any children but each day you wait to be married is a day less you are happily married and life is too short for that. Make sure that she is the right one and marry the girl!!
2007-10-19 03:12:30 · answer #6 · answered by Al B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Got married with 3k in the bank
Still dont have 30k saved
dont let that be the reason. If you love her and she loves you, the love will grow as you work TOGETHER towards that goal.
It is sweet that you want to provide for her
but with you both being so young, go for it
two can save twice as fast as one person can.
I am not saying that you have to marry her tommorrow but dont wait for the new car and the 30k
just wait until you are sure she is the one that you want to spend the rest of your life with
IF you are sure of that
ask for her hand in marriage as soon as you can
if you find her this special, someone else WILL too and you will always regret letting her get away!
2007-10-19 04:03:02 · answer #7 · answered by kissmymiddlefinger 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you are a very wise man!!! Trust if you just do what she wants then she will be the FIRST to complain and b*tch at you that there is no money. If you think it's the right thing to do and its what YOU want to feel comfortable then you shouldn't just settle for the sake of it.... ever!! There should be more young people like you in this world that actually make plans for themselves instead of just doing things to suit others. Well done to you!
I worked my butt off to be debt free and have money in the bank when we married... and also before we started a family. It really paid off.... we are the only people that i have ever known NOT to ever fight about money because we didn't jump in and expect it to just sort itself out along the way. Giving yourself a kickstart is a very very very smart move. I hope it goes well for you.
2007-10-19 03:13:57 · answer #8 · answered by Shazela 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
While youre getting your finances together in hopes of having a perfect marriage, your girlfriend may be moving in the other direction. So in other words dont let money become your life partner.
2007-10-19 03:04:59 · answer #9 · answered by Shon 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're smart, do what you already know is right. If she doesn't support your decision to take care of your life first, then she's being extremely selfish. Honestly, there's not a whole lot of benefit (for men) in marriage.
You HAVE to get your foundation built before you get married. Otherwise, you're doomed to a marriage filled with financial stress and resentment.
2007-10-19 03:03:55 · answer #10 · answered by SoMunny 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why do you have to get a brand new car? You are still in college. There are lots of good used cars outthere and then you could save the extra.
2007-10-19 03:02:31 · answer #11 · answered by Lady Mandeville 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋