How long did you date prior to marriage?
How long have you been married?
Are you happily married?
Please share a story. Please be descriptive. I got the time to listen.
Please do not answer, "nope we were always so in love", because as you can see that would not be an answer to my question. The question clearly indicates that having been in love was not what brought you two to the altar. Maybe security or the fear of being alone brought you two together, but it was not being in love per se. I am doing research on love.
thank you. thank you. thank you.
2007-10-18 19:25:23 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I married my ex husband for security and he married me as a companion and trophy wife. We "dated" a couple of months. We were as happy as the situation permitted. It was not for love, at all but I grew to respect him and from this respect grew a sort of love. He was much older. We lived in another country where he practiced. We were both originally from the States. We divorced about 2 years later, as we just didn't have enough in common. He was happy with the situation; I was not. I needed friendship and more companionship. I was ignored. That's the story.
2007-10-18 21:11:56 · answer #1 · answered by maggieeld 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do have to decide whether you want to be a wife or a concubine. Give him a 6 month deadline, keep it to yourself, and then once and only once, find a quiet saturday afternoon and sit him down at the kitchen table and pour him a big stiff drink (for effect) and say to him "look I want to get married, so if you think you will never marry me, then I'm going to have to leave you." He'll say ill consider it or we'll see how things go, or something like that, but if he says no, then you have to leave. If he says something other than no, or becomes defensive or something, then simply quietly say to him I'm giving you a certain ammont of time to decide to ask me to marry you and the engagement will be about 1 year long, give or take a few months, and if you don't ask me by that time, which I'm not going to tell you, but its well over a month, I'm going to have to leave you. After that don't mention it again at all and if he hasn't popped the question in a year, start making other arrangements. then write the untimatem down, frame it, and hang the sucker over your headboard. If he blows you off, then you have to leave. Now it may not be the end if you leave. It will only be the end if he lets you leave and doesn't try to get you back. When you leave tell him that you are not coming back or sleeping with him until you are an engaged woman.
2016-03-13 01:46:20 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife and I dated for about a year. Well dated like 3 months then moved in together. We were both very young I was 17 she was 15 when we married. I married her to avoid a criminal case her lunatic grandmother was trying to get on me. I did not love her at all when we married. 3 months after we married we split up for about a month. I took her back because I was losing a child custody case and did not want to get hit with child support. It turned out splitting up was the best thing for us. We never fought really bad again and I really started to love her. Now I am 26 and she is 24 and life is going ok. I do love her now and I know she loves me. We have been married like 6 or 7 years now. We still have problems but we get through them. I guess you can learn to love someone!!!
2007-10-18 20:13:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've been married twice. The first marriage we didn't really love each other. We were college friends who got drunk one night & one thing led to another. After 2 months she became pregnant, so we got married. Felt it was the right thing to do. She lost the baby in the 5th month. We stayed married but pretty much did our own thing. It was more like roommates with occasional sex. Pretty soon, we couldn't stand each other and did everything we could do to hurt the other one. We filed divorce 12 months after she lost the baby. Now this should have been easy, but we did everything we could do to distroy each other. We didn't divorce because she lost the baby, we would have divorced anyway. The divorce was final in 1984. I have to admit that I felt love for her but was never in love with her.
Well, 3 years later I met the perfect lady. We took our time to get to know each other, fell in love, married in 1988 and have been very happily married every since.
2007-10-18 20:07:46 · answer #4 · answered by RB 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I married my husband after dating for 2 years and we have now been married for 6 months and he was in love with me but me not with him and I married him because he was someone I had been with for some time and I knew him years before we started dating. I am not happy in this marriage and I regret now marrying for love. I mean in my opinion you need to marry someone you are madly deeply in love with because then one may feel guilty and the other will have no idea what is goin on.
2007-10-18 19:40:34 · answer #5 · answered by Danielle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dated my husband 8 months before we got married.
We have been married for two wonderful years and have the cutest son!
I love my husband more today than the day I married him. I cannot imagine my life without him. He is the person I want to wake up to every morning and grow old with!
When we first met, my husband knew I was the one for him but it took me longer to feel the same with him. It wasn't until I left for school (months later) that I realized how much I loved him because I ached for him.
Hope this helps. Good luck with your research paper. :)
2007-10-18 20:05:00 · answer #6 · answered by bo bunnis 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been married for 7.5 years now, i had a purely arranged marriage when i was only 21, just met him in front of my family before marriage and used to talk on the phone. I had 2 kids with him when i was 25, and then i met someone. I realised i never fell in love before as i fell very strongly in love with him and he is married too with kids. He said he loves me too but we have to be out of touch because both of us are married with kids. I realised that its very important to fall deeply in love with someone before u get married so that u dont fall in love after u get married.
Please do let me know the result of ur research, as i strongly believe in "love".
2007-10-18 22:06:32 · answer #7 · answered by aquamarine2005 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got engaged a week after dating and we married 2 months later.
We have been married for 3 years working on 4.
Yes we are happily married. My husband is very special funny person. Everyone said you can't forget this guy. Very sweet too.
He proposed to me when we were making out on the couch(he was joking). I thought I'd play back. Cause there are a lot of crazy people out there and well some girl might actually say yes and mean it. So I got all excited!
"Really you want to marry me!!!" I jumped up and screamed. Then hugged him. "You really want to marry me???!!!" I gave him a hug and shook him a little.
His eyes got big and I looked him right in the eye and he said "yes I do. " I knew he was thinking "ummm" but he didn't go back. I told him I was so excited I have to leave. I thought I'd see how long he would keep it up. I was making bets with myself. I called him on the way home and told him we should buy a house.
Then a week later he met my family. The whole family, extended family and all. He told me don't tell them we are engaged. Okay. Two minutes later I introduced him to everybody and called him my fiance'.
We waited 2 months. As I got to know him I learned he was a really great guy. I prayed a lot. I had no clue where this was going but it was kind of getting serious. We bought wedding rings within 4 weeks of the proposal. He prayed to God too and asked for a sign. I guess I called him the moment he wanted a sign.
I wasn't sure if I should invite people to the wedding and my mom and dad and sisters and my two best friends wanted to come. So they came. We got married in the courthouse with a judge that used God in the ceremony. ( I wasn't sure if they would, he was an older guy.)
We waited to have sex until after we were married. Drove 29 hours met his parents and introduced his new wife. They had no clue he got married. He wasn't talking to them and they not him, but they all made up and were happily surprised.
Oh, yea. My biggest reason for marrying him this way is that both set of my grandparents married quickly.
A. My Grandpa barely knew Grandma. They knew each other cause they hung out in the same social group. Met in middle of May. In Novemeber my grandfather walked up to Grandma and said "Do you want to get married?"
Grandma "I certainly would"
Grandpa "Okay tommorrow go get a blood test. I'll met you at 2:00"
Grandma called her parents said "i'm getting married tommorrow.
Family jumped in truck next day and went to the city
They couldn't find a preacher cause he was on vacation. Found one later, lady didn't sign marriage cert... but they found were she live late at night and finally married around 9:00pm. Both set of parents were in there. Grandma married in her best suit. Married 59 years.
B. Grandpa went to basic training then getting ready for war in Texas. Grandma went to visit. He proposed. She called parents. I'm getting married. Didn't return home. Married away from family. Married 46 years. Grandpa died at 69 of cancer
Both say no long engagements back then.
2007-10-20 15:03:25 · answer #8 · answered by Peggy Pirate 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋