I need help, but i feel like i am coming to a dead end!?

Question

I swear to god my life has been really adventurous. I am 23yrs of age however and i feel not like a human being anymore. I am already a retired commercial pilot AND have had a Cancer diagnosis. I am doing ok right now but I have NO friends and I just want 1 person(girl) who can love me and.
whom i may love in return. I am just really angry/frustrated/sad yet priviallaged that I am a 23 and have been through so much. BUT I am sick of going to bars and clubs where people are living in lala land and base so much on image. I swear its always the nice guys that finish last. I love nature but don't want to be a hermit in the woods. I at least figur mabe a dog or something that i can love and will give love back is essental to me beacuse iswear I don't know how much longer I can live like this. I feel like i am ending up in a dead end. does anyone have thoughts on what i should do? should i just end it and go home to GOD?
P.S. I have pretty much lost all Family and friends due to my cancer

Answer 1

hey just remember that 'if God brings you to it, he will bring you through it'

'Be thankful for each new challenge because it will build your strength and character. Be thankful for the difficult times. During those times you grow. Be thankful for your limitations. They give you opportunities for improvement. Be thankful for your mistakes - They will teach you valuable lessons. Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire. If you did, what would there be to look forward to? Be thankful when you don't know something. For it gives you the opportunity to learn. Be thankful when you're tired and weary. It means you've made a difference.'

also, i have recently watched the interview with Paul Potts (the guy had been through a lot and won Britain's Got Talent)
and he said that this experience taught him two things:
1) never stop playing because you never know which card will come next
2) once you get what you want, don't get too proud
you have to be strong and
also, please stop the negative feelings about the problem...i think this is the first thing you have to do...just say that there should be a reason why you still don't have what you want, it's probably not time yet...and just do what you love...if you want love, just give it to others by helping...and maybe some day, this is going to be the way you meet your girl...just maybe don't go out there and volunteer in a shelter of abused women only because there are more females out there :) you probably have to have do in a genuine way...helping others...
and again, do what you really enjoy...it seems to help us in a way we don't even expect

don't worry, things will get better :)
Good Luck! :)

Answer 2

Although it may be easy for those of us not suffering something like the cancer to say it, never give up! You need to find other ways to find joy in your life or even just not be unhappy. You mention God, so perhaps try to find some church activity that will allow you to meet the right girl.
you might see if a local domestic violence shelter needs volunteers and you would meet a girl there who would love to meet any man who would treat them decently.
you might even be able to do some volunteer work at a hospital dealing with cancer in order to meet some girl suffering the same thing you are.
At 23 you certainly can go back to a college or community college and that is another place you may meet girls and I am sure there are some there not into the bar scene.
Talk to your doctor and make sure that some of what you feel is not just a side effect of the medicines you are on. If not, perhaps volunteering your time somewhere will keep you busy and perhaps not think about your illness for a while and you might still meet the special person you want in your life.
I wish you well, and happiness!

Answer 3

Hi Janos,

You sound like an intelligent and perceptive person. So I'll be just straight up here with no BS. No, do not just end it. You can work to make life enjoyable again. It may take going to a doctor, it may take going to counseling to get that going. Everyone is different. But you have already taken the first and hardest step by being smart enough and brave enough to ask. On a public forum no less - that takes courage even if it's anonymous.

You have to start with loving yourself though before you can learn to love someone else and other people again and in return have other people want to love you - it's one of the great ironies of life. And that's what makes it so hard to recover when life gives you an unexpected and unfair kick that knocks you down. That's why it sometimes is necessary to go to a counselor or doctor that can help you find out how to enjoy life again - step by step. It's work though and you have to be willing to do that work. But the reward is... well it's to enjoy life again, and what could be more worth it?

You have accomplished a lot! But what are you currently doing that you have passion about? Look and find some things that you enjoy doing - and go for broke with it. Get passionate about something that makes you happy - damn the consequences and don't let anything stand in your way.

You sound very bitter towards other people. And in many ways you are right about what you say about people living in lala land - people tend to take their life for granted.

Decide what you want to do. If you want to enjoy life again: make a plan on how you are going to do that. If you can't find that out on your own - find a good counselor to help you get started. Look at it like you would any goal and set out to accomplish it - damn the consequences and don't let anything stand in your way.

God bless.

Answer 4

Try and remember that G-d is always with you.We must never ask G-d why me.There is never any answers to these type of questions.You sound as if you have so far had a good life until the cancer striked.You have achieved more in your short lifetime than most people achieve in a whole lifetime.Unfortunately illness is something that we do not ask for but you have to carry on to the best of your capabilities and find inner strength from G-d.There must be lots of people in the medical field that you can talk to and they can help you get through this stage of your life.Never ever give up you must try and stay as strong as you can.Have you tried speaking to your GP? You will be surprised at how much knowledge they have not only about medical issues but also about life.Don't be afraid to speak to them because after all they are all human beings with lots of feelings and lots of knowledge and are very experienced.I wish I could help you more but I am not qualified in this field.If you wish to contact me just to talk about things you can contact me on my email via yahoo answers and questions.I am always here to help if I can.Best of luck and I really mean this sincerely.

Answer 5

This is not really an answer to your problem, I just think this might help you learn things about yourself:
From what you said, I think your Myers-Briggs personality type is ISTP (http://www.personalitypage.com/ISTP.html). Just like me =).
I'm not sure if this will help you:
http://www.personalitypage.com/ISTP_rel.html
http://www.personalitypage.com/ISTP_per.html
Is your cancer severely disabling you from doing the necessities of life? If not, then there's plenty you can do. As an ISTP, my advice is that you expand your world, develop your Extraverted Sensing / Extraverted Feeling functions (just research that in the Net), get to meet new people so that you'll have company.
Basic theory is that the ISTP gets stuck in his inner world unless he learns to play along with the social world.
Email me at [e-mail] for questions about ISTP personal development.

Answer 6

To be truthful i have no longer had large reports with counsellors and placed it more suitable effectual to ring or digital mail the Samaritans. Emailing them feels extremely constructive and secure and unscary. provide it a pass. I felt a similar as you many years in the past and talking to human beings helps and attempt to save hoping that something will take position, it did for me, contained in the most unpredicted of places. strong luck to you and that i extremely wish that you're feeling more suitable ideal quickly, that is so garbage feeling like that, i comprehend!