what can be the affect on the child?

Question

my wife keeps nagging and abusing me in front of the girl child (9 yrs old). my wife has lose temprament and just too expecting and demanding. she has all the facilities but just make a fuss out of nothing. i have been avoiding her abuse and i m under psychatric care with dosage of sedatives and tranquillisers , as i feel i my self esteem and ego is eradicated in pulling on with such a fussy and abusive spouse but i love my child a lot and i don't want her to deprive of her childhood with a single parent and financial constraints.my child is also being pampered by my spouse as she is very interested in junk food stuff and roaming around. This is getting worrisome for me. i m just hapless and hopeless about the situation. i tried to convince my spouse about this but she is too aggressive and all my efforts are in vain.

Answer 1

She needs help. One No parent could yell at the other I dont care how old the kid is she should know better. And I hope she knows that kid is more stressed out then she is and the junk food needs to stop your kids going to get older and thank thats and they can eat. my mother did the same thing Last year I had my brother over and we had stake and mac and chesse and salad he would not eat he wanted cookies I told him no and this is because my mother and her b/f feed them junk and hes very quit and when I talk to my sisters they tell me my mother and her b/f fight all the time and the yell at the kids and call them stupit. What I would do if I was you is talk to your wife and tell her she needs to see a doctor.

Make her go one Dr.Phil

Answer 2

What type of abuse are we talking here?
Children mimic the actions of their role models. The child will grow up to believe that men need to be nagged andabused. Your wife has the problem, she was probably raised in an environment where she saw the same thing that she is doing to you, and feels that it`s normal. She needs to break the cycle of abuse through therapy or counseling.
You should go together, make it as though you need her to come to therapy to help you , then she will see that the error of her ways is destroying what is supposed to be a family unit.

You need to get yourself well and off your meds, to return to the real you. You can do it, start with your doctor, tell him that you want to go to counseling with your wife to start the healing. Keep the child out of the sessions.
Good luck to you brother.

Answer 3

This will have an effect on her. It could change her whole life. Having a single parent family is better than this. If you need psychiatric care and tranquillizers image what a scared nine year old feels like witnessing this. She will be much happier and so will you. Don't feel hopeless. There is hope for you but you need to take action to make it happen. Think of the sanity and happiness of your daughter if nothing else. Good luck.

Answer 4

Of course this is damaging your child. You and your wife don't have a healthy relationship and that will affect your child, not to mention the junk food's unhealthy affects. It sounds like you want what is best for your child, so why would you keep her in such a negative environment?

Answer 5

Wow it is not just us women who get ourselves in that kind of a situation! Good for you for sharing! Just concentrate on getting yourself better and strong and then you can be there for your child. I wouldn't go back to your wife - it won't help your situation. Don't understand the junk food and roaming bit - is your wife stuffing her with junk food and letting her do whatever she wants? Maybe when you are better you will be in a better place to go for custody. I am more concerned about you at this stage of the game.

Answer 6

I wish i had an answer for you but like jessicka said your going to have to stand up for yourself sooner or later . For some reason woman take advantage of nice guys and love bad guys . My ex was the same way . I did every thing i could but all the talk went in one ear and out the other . I finally got to the point i kicked her out and dared her to take my kid or anything ells . But mine would get physical with me i finally started calling the cops and she had no choice but to go . She now lives with some guy that kicks her butt all the time and she seems happy with that go figure.

Sorry you and you kid has to go through that . I sure feel you pain

Answer 7

Umm....if ya'll are fighting like that in front of the child, it is better that she isn't around it. When me and my husband fight we do it where we cannot be heard or seen. And if that is how it is going to be, it is best to end the marriage, for the child's sake. And if you are depressed, and she caused the low self-esteem, then you probably shouldn't married, for your sake. You need a woman who will treat you like you feel you should be treated.

Answer 8

Talk to your wife, let her know how you feel. Tell her that it is better if you seperate for the child's sake, if she doesn't want to listen to you. Maybe things will change for you, but you need to talk to her. The child doesn't need to hear this. I was in the same situation, and its hard to know what to do. Talk to your wife. Good luck!!

Answer 9

Are you kidding me, listen to yourself, everything negative that is going on in your life is your fault entirely. You say your wife is too expecting and too demanding? You claim she has all of her faculties yet continues to make a "fuss" over nothing. You admit that you avoid her because she is obvioulsy the one that wears the pants in this family. Yet you proclaim to be the hero suffering in silence, all in the name of this love you proclaim to have for your daughter. I was appauled to read that you believe it ok to stay in a very unhealthy relationship so your daughter does not have to suffer the financial hardship of a single parent home, yet in the same breath you continue to point the finger of fault at your wife for pampering her with junk food and roaming around? Then the sickest part is how you turn it all on yuour self and how you are suffering from all of the worry over a daughter whom I am pretty sure has no respect for you. IF you are so unhappy and you have lost all hope for your families situation. Then all I can say is SHAME on you for hiding from all that YOU are SCARED of because according to all you have written this is all about YOU and how YOU feel. Step out of your comfort zone get off the prescriptions and own your responsibility in this completley self consumed whoas me child like state of mind you have let your self plummet into. If you reallyu love your daughter and want the best for her, GO AND GET SOME HELP!You need to pull yourself together, if you really want the best for your daughter. Tell your wife that she is too demanding and that she nags too much and if she continues I would have to believe that she has no respect for you because of this whiny wimp of a father/husband you have allowed your self become.I find it impossible that you truly believe or could even begin to think that you are contributing in a healthy manner in either of what should be the 25 most important people in your life. I think it impossible to be on those type of prescription srugs and be able to discern in truth what is really going on around you. Maybe it is all you, maybe they are as hurt as you are but have enough control over their feelings to not let you know how they really feel about your behaviour and who youve become in their eyes in fear that you might crumble in to a million little pieces blaming them the entire time you fall apart because it certainley could in no way, shape, or form be the fact that you have completley given up on both your daughter and your wife. Cry me a river! You need to search and destoy until you find your manhood and gather your wits about you and refuse to ever let your daughter see her father in such a weak position as it sounds that you have been displaying. Need I remind you, she is the child? You are so consumed with your self that your entire perception of what is really going on in your home is nothing but a big contradiction. If you refuse to go and get the help that you need, do your daughter a favor and leave. You are the one that she is supposed to run to when she is scared or hurt, I am sure she feels like funning away from you so she doesnt have to watch the father she loves sestroy him self with sedatives and self consumed depression in-which he continuallly projects on every one and every thing but himself, and that is where the blame lies. Take your power back from whom ever you let take it and stand up for your self and be real with your self and be a father to your daughter, she deservesno less!

Answer 10

It's damaging to your child (and I think you know that) to see her father abused by her mother. Very damaging. Tell your wife she must go to counseling with you or leave to protect yourself. They say "sticks and stones may break my bones" but verbal abuse doesn't. Verbal and emotional abuse is at least as damaging to you as physical. Also... you have to take care of you, first, or you cannot take care of your child.

So do what you must to protect yourself, even if it means you must get away.