How many women really want?

Question

I recently met a real live, Croc wearing, minivan driving, cookie-baking, PTA committee chairing, stay at home dad.

He was nice enough, but frankly he was such a soft man that I just couldn't help but wonder what kind of woman would really want that kind of situation.

I understand about freedom of choice, but is this what feminists would like to see more of?

What about non-feminists? How many would want this kind of situation?

When I say soft, I mean he was somewhat feminine, not flamingly gay, but soft in a womanly way.

Chuck P

His wife was the breadwinner, I learned in conversation. She traveled extensively while kept the home fires burning.

I'm not criticizing, just wondering.

EDIT:

To be clear, IMO, there are few things more beautiful than a father loving his kids.

What I found curious was not WHAT he was doing, but HOW he goes about it.

Can you be a loving attentive dad without becoming a feminine acting 1950s apron-wearing house-wife? Isn't there some middle ground? I think so.

I just wanted to say (but of course did not) to they guy, "Hey, fathers and kids are a beautiful thing, but, can you just "man-up" a little bit? Your boy doesn't need to be a macho bully, but if he acts like you he will get beat up everyday."

EDIT:

To be clear, IMO, there are few things more beautiful than a father loving his kids.

What I found curious was not WHAT he was doing, but HOW he goes about it.

Can you be a loving attentive dad without becoming a feminine acting 1950s apron-wearing house-wife? Isn't there some middle ground? I think so.

I just wanted to say (but of course did not) to they guy, "Hey, fathers and kids are a beautiful thing, but, can you just "man-up" a little bit? Your boy doesn't need to be a macho bully, but if he acts like you he will get beat up everyday."

Hmmm. . . not sure how that got posted twice?

Answer 1

Out of curiosity, are you asking the same women who believe the man should pay on the first date by default?

I may not mind the soft part. I have been accused of liking pretty boys, but you know, there is a difference between a well-kept man who doesn't mind wearing pink and a brotha on the DL. LOL.

With that said, I do not date men who are not achievers. I do not date men who make less money than me. And I do not date men who are younger than me. I'm not trying to fall into the role of being the provider and I'm certainly not trying to play the teacher. Some call me shallow, but I call it my right to want someone who can meet my needs and keep me on my toes. I'm a strong woman with an aggressive personality and always on the move, a baking cookie husband just ain't gonna cut it. Also, it makes me feel good to cook and bake, my ego would be bruised if I had to depend on him for Thanksgiving dinner.

I have actually answered some questions in the Marriage and Divorce section for men who don't understand why the woman is running everything and belittling them. Not saying that's how all of them turn out, but there might just be something about the unbalanced power structure and unbalanced gender roles.

PS: I can't wait to get the hate mail for this :)

EDIT: I see some women find it great. I'm glad. Less competition for my kind of guy.


EDIT: LMAO @ Hala and marsmallow, girl you're too much!

Answer 2

Hard to answer because the question was tainted by the Crocs. If I could get past that I'd have to say it's about the balance of the two individual partners. The guy sounds too soft related to you the asker and possibly me as well. But he is obviously balanced with his partner if this is working for them.

I think what is ideal is partners that are realistic and flexible and that are willing to adapt to new roles if the situation makes sense. If a father can take on this type of role or a more balanced role with the mother what a great investment he makes in the relationship with his kids.

Answer 3

Although I like more masculine men, I think it’s interesting that the guy is so “soft” as you put it. Wouldn’t be what I’d want at all.

I have a friend who was a manager at an oil company who was forced into early retirement at 40 something. At that point, he decided to stop working, since he and his wife had saved quite a bit of money by this point, and she went back to work as a CPA. He is the perfect househusband in that he cleans the house, cooks dinner, takes their girls to school, and attends parent-teacher conferences.

But he also makes beer, and fixes things around the house, etc. Great Dude.

Answer 4

My hubby and I have a hard time with this picture, he is a "soft" chauvinist. which is he is very kind sweet listens to me and treats me as a team player we make decisions together so how is he a chauvinist?? well if you ask him all women should be home with their kids taking care of things. We should not open our own doors or order food for ourselves. I tell him what I want he tell the waitress you should see the looks we get!! lol
however my cousin is very intelligent and makes almost 50,000 a year, she met and recently married a man with no education that makes around 19,000 a year (on a good year)
we love him though he is a wonderful man with a great personality they plan in the future for him to be the stay at home and her to work. I have never seen the sense in this until I have had it with in our family and some how they make it seem normal. We sincerely hope that all goes as well as they are planning. So although this is not what I have chosen for myself it makes perfect sense for them, and at least the kids won't be in daycare.

Answer 5

Dude...I would so love to be Mr.Mom. My wife is the main bread-winner and currently has the better potential to make more money than I do unless we move...again. I have enough to do around this house to keep me busy for weeks, and we don't even have kids yet. Our place is always a shambles because we work, come home, eat, and crash. We spend our days off just getting the house back in order. I would so love to be able to just stay home and do the stuff that needs to be done around here so on her days off we wouldn't have to spend it doing laundry and cleaning the house.

I could also ski a hell of a lot more if I didn't have to work.

Answer 6

Le's say for the sake if argument; in my home, for some unseen reason it falls upon me to be the breadwinner, who knows what futures bring, none of know. Taking it from there I would be extremely turned off by pink panties that (no you didn't mention those I'm imagining them) that may be hidden underneath; now mind you none of my other values will have not flown out the window either. It's interesting to say the least. Wisdom tells me that you have to do what needs being done.

Answer 7

My man is really sweet and nice. He allows me to get my way about 99% of the time. I have seen that 1% of anger but the sensitivity over powers everything. I bet his wife was and maybe still is a tomboy which is why it all works out.

Answer 8

Dude, I tell ya now. If my wife were to make enough money for me to stay home with the kids, I'd do it if she was cool with that arrangement. I hate crocs, I'd be in a SUV, I like cookies, I'd attend a PTA meeting if necessary, and my voice is deep. There would be know denying my masculinity.

Answer 9

As long as he isn't financially dependent on his wife, I don't see the problem. Staying at home is fine as long as you're capable of taking care of yourself if the need arises. I know a guy who would be willing, if not eager, to stay at home, and he's one of my favourite people.

Answer 10

I'm not a feminist and I DO want a man who is a good Father however what you just described....EWWWW! Noway! I want a MAN not a marshmallow.