Ok. I think my husband is plenty romantic. But a lot of my relatives don't, and they think it's because he's not in love with me yet or something...otherwise he'd show more outward affection. But see, I think he's VERY romantic. He bought me a salwar kameez for no reason. When we talk, we do tell each other how we feel. His hugs and kisses(when we were together), were very sweet. Even w/o him telling me everytime we speak, I know how he feels about me. One time we were eating out, and he split his plate with me. We talk about "romantic actions" all the time! ONe time, he made sure I took my cold medicine(I'm forgetful in those matters at times). He held my hand everytime we went somewhere. We even cuddled and watched a movie, and I fell asleep in his arms! These are all the public displays of affection(except the hugs and kisses).
I feel they're romantic. I know it's ok to give hugs and kisses in public now we're wed, but we don't want to! He ignores all the well wishers, but I can't.
2007-10-18 17:05:15 · 22 answers · asked by Uncertain Soul 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
IT's hard. But I think he's VERY romantic. I'm not a flowers and candy type of girl. I'm not the type who'd like her newly wed husband to be all over her all the time either. He isn't, but others say that as newly weds, we should want to be inseparable, and be that when we can. But neither of us feel this way. I only call him once a week...we both prefer it this way. We do miss each other like crazy though. But once a week isn't enough for others. Then, everyone thinks i should go back and be with him...except him. He knows I dont like India, and he's the only reason I'd be there, so he doesn't want me bored. The advice or criticism wont' stop! How do Indian women deal with this? I thought it stops once the girl's wed!
He tells me not to worry and all is well, I say this to others and they say he's just sparing my feelings. They put doubt in my head. I believe all he's saying and try to follow his wishes. Y must we be like other couples? Is there something wrong with the way we are?
2007-10-18 17:12:21 · update #1
All this is making me think that I have a flawed view of romance. But no one can explain it to me either. And the explanations don't sound appealing to me. I don't want my guy around me always. I don't want him longing for me. I'm glad he's considerate enough of my disdain to let me stay in the states while he waits to come over. What's wrong with that? What's wrong with what i consider romantic? Sure, it's the bare minimum...but I like it! But people won't shut up! I'm not a typical Indian girl, and he doesn't require it(atleast not yet), so y's everyone else all in a knot? Help!!!!!!! thanks.
2007-10-18 17:15:25 · update #2
If this is the way you like it who are they to tell you how your marriage should be. All though it does sound a little backwards. The two of you sound like you have been married for a very long time. You two are in semi love not deep down real love that's why it doesn't bother you not to talk to him but once a week. It's your life and if you are happy then that's all that matters here. Forget about what other people tell you,let it go in one ear and out the other. Trust me, if you ever find real deep down true love you will what to be with him all the time and you won't want to keep your hands off of each other.That is a wonderful feeling to be in love you are happy all the time and life is wonderful it's the best feeling in the world.
2007-10-18 17:32:18 · answer #1 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For God's sake stop listening to all those "wanna be well-wishers" , coz if they really meat u well then they would stop yapping all that nonsense about how they think it should and/or should not be, and would leave u alone and accept the way u handle the situation if that is what works for u and makes u happy ... as long as u and ure husband feel good/happy and like the way ure relationship is going, nothing and no one else matters !!!
If u feel that ure husband is romantic, then why the hell does it matter what others say ?! and why are u listening to them ?!
Just tell them to bug off, and that ure satisfied with the way he is, no matter what they might say !!!
After all who is to say what and how "Romance" should be ?!
Romancing someone can be done in various of ways ... and Romance can also mean various of things, depending on the persons involved ... there is absolutely nothing wrong in the way u perceive it ... u and ure husband perhaps perceive romance in the that way (the way u described it) and as long as u are happy with that, it's all good !!!
Plz don't get too influenced by the so called well wishers, u have a mind and feelings of ure own ... agreed, that good advise is well and welcome, but that just seems like pure criticism and meddling, and they shouldn't put there they re noses, beware of such things !!!
P.S. At this time that sort of contact with ure husband feels right and enough, perhaps in the future it might change and u both become more passionate about another ... even better ... but in case it does not happen and ure still ok with it then great too !!! ... Hope u take my words into consideration !!! ... Best of Luck and wish u happy wedded Life, God bless !!!
♦☆♦ Beware 0f The Gypsy Curse ♦☆♦
2007-10-19 02:05:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Romance in India is very very different from the western Romance. Either you have to put on a deaf ears to all ur wellwishers comments and ideas or do as they say.... which would not be what ur husband wants.
Everybody has their own way of displaying romance. There is nothing wrong in calling just once a week or so if u r comfortable with it. Many women in India live with calls from husbands once a month. Now how abt that? If you dont like India maybe u should ask him to move to where u live.
And pls tell all those wellwishers of ur's that u r in Love and u r still falling in love and there is no place for their criticisms. Do wat is comfortable for u and not wat's comfortable for others.
2007-10-18 17:45:02 · answer #3 · answered by DU 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
everybody has there own definition of romance, and if you think that he is romantic, that is all that matters. my husband isn't very romantic in some people's eyes, but he is to me. When he gives me kisses and says he loves me for no reason, that is romantic to me. sometimes romance can be just the way ya'll look into each others eyes. So forget what everyone is saying.
2007-10-18 17:10:35 · answer #4 · answered by Sunshine 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he might be of reserve nature publicaly but your description says that your husband loves you a lot. Don't care a damn about people they keep on talking pointing one thing another as they don't have any other work. Please don't ever strain your relation with a husband like yours.
Love him a lot & keep your mind body soul only for him as he also does the same. Wish you & your husband all the very best & love filled life ahead.
2007-10-18 19:32:23 · answer #5 · answered by shalrm 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not his job to be romantic toward your family - just to you. So Don't even worry about what they think. If he makes you feel loved and happy, that's all that matters.
2007-10-18 17:09:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it's great that you are so secure in your relationship, that you don't worry about things like "is he romantic enough?"
Maybe the people that tell you that he is not romantic, are insecure in their own relationships, and they constantly like to be reassured that their partner loves them.
2007-10-18 17:09:01 · answer #7 · answered by Angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her u love the shape of her collar bone, and kiss her there. tell her her hair smells good and run ur fingers thru it and take a long whiff. ask her if she wants a foot massage and tell her u like her toes. notice if she changes her hair color/style, her makeup, her jewelry..........and point it out to her. above all else, tell her often that she is beautiful. dont over use it tho, u dont want her to get insensitive or accustomed to hearing it.
2016-05-23 15:09:05 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell them they outta show some RESPECT for your family and your personal decisions, otherwise you wont be coming around for thanksgiving, its not strongarm, its common sense.
some people are just less comfortable with pda's
just remember, you dont need to prove anything to other people even if they are family.
Some guy said of his family once, "I Love Them...
2007-10-18 17:08:14 · answer #9 · answered by AlCapone 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, what matters here is what *you* think. as long as you're happy with it, who cares what other people think?
and obviously i don't know him, but it can take a while for love to develop in your situation. also, you can't make someone romantic, they either are or they aren't. in my opinion, anyway :)
2007-10-18 17:50:09 · answer #10 · answered by musiclover 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋