He says there is nothing going in but i live in Wa...he lives in Georgia because of the military. She lives in NC only 3 hours away. Now he tells me they talk often. He says to worry..but I am soooo upset at him! How do i confront him about this, he does have a child with her???
2007-10-18 17:03:20 · 12 answers · asked by lupe 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What do you mean by "found his ex" ??
Did you not always know about her considering there was a child ?
This is going to be hard. Any way you could be in GA with him? You can't do much to stop them from talking since a child is involved but you can control on strengthening your relationship and trust with your husband.
Dont let the anxiety take over you. Focus on bulding a better trust and relationship with him.
2007-10-18 17:17:09 · answer #1 · answered by Romi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't fault him about being touch with his child warefare. only person can talk him about his child is his ex's. you should know how females would react or behave toward the child father. he have to be nice to her just to see his child or spend some time with the child over the weekend. If he really don't care for his ex then there is nothing you should be worry about. Would you want him not to see his child because of his ex's? Why dont you take a week off and fly down to Georgia. oh by the way, where in Wa you lived?
2007-10-18 17:19:34 · answer #2 · answered by Thomas 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry your going through this sort of thing and so far away from him. He has a child with her so they do have to talk but not all the time. You must have realized when you married him that he is a Father and when you have a child with someone, you are going to have to be a part of that persons life because of the child. I'm sorry that you didn't think about that before you married him. Just talk to him and tell him how it makes you feel when he says he talks to his ex. On one hand it's nice that they can get along for the child's sake but on the other hand I can see where it would make you feel uncomfortable. Just want you to know how thankful we all are for people like you in the military. Good luck and God bless.
2007-10-18 17:20:22 · answer #3 · answered by sunny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is the legal arrangement with the child? Does he have visitation rights. You said "found his ex" ... had she not had contact for awhile?
If there is a child involved and they are "parenting" together as part of a legal arrangement, then talking is understandable ... as long as it is concerning the child.
"Talking often" is not acceptable unless there are unusual circumstances involving the welfare of the child. But "chatting" with the ex is a bunch of crap. On the other hand ... he's been upfront with you about this. You just have to tell him the effect it is having on you and on your relationship.
You do have to confront him on this ... I would wait until you can do it face-to-face. The distance and him being in the military really complicates the matter, but you do have to set things straight with him. You can maybe contact the base chaplain for some support if you need it.
They can be pretty helpful in situations like this.
2007-10-18 17:22:48 · answer #4 · answered by Meg 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to talk to her because of the child. If they are staying on the phone just chit chatting then that is a different story. If they are discussing the child don't worry about it. She is an ex for a reason. Has she been hiding or did he not know about the kid?
2007-10-18 17:42:41 · answer #5 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you're jealous and a bit insecure. The man has a CHILD with her. Like it or not, he's going to have to talk to her in that regard alone. If it's something you can't deal with, then bow out gracefully now.
Unless there's reasons not to trust him, then trust him. He should be responsible and take part in his child's life. I was a single father raising two kids on my own and had a few relationships along the way. There were many times that I had to deal with my ex simply because she is their mother, There was never any more attraction after we had split permanently and I had moved on. I always tried to keep it civil with my ex because it made it easier on the kids and they were always free to form their own opinions about their mother. I refused to allow a significant other to influence the kids in regards to their mother. It caused a few strifes, but it was always in the best interest of the kids that my decisions were made.
If you allow these feelings to continue without really looking into yourself as to why you feel this way, you're headed for serious trouble.
2007-10-18 17:15:48 · answer #6 · answered by mike w 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're in a difficult spot because of the child. He has a right to see his child and so must see her.
However you could push for him to take he child for a weekend etc. and not socialize with her so much. He sounds like he's pretty cozy to the ex and speaking with her on the phone a lot (other than about the child) really isn't cool with your relationship.
2007-10-18 17:10:02 · answer #7 · answered by Scott K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if you need to worry or not, but he has a child with her so there will always be a reason they need to talk or see each other. I hope there is nothing going on and that things are good with you guys.
2007-10-18 17:10:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
why did ya'll have to find her?by them talking that is building a relationship,what kind that's something you will have to find out.in the mean time I would suggest you let your husband know how you feel about the relationship.they shouldn't have anything to talk about than the child.if he needs someone to talk to or confide in it should be you.women sometimes have a way of making a man trust them and confide in them when really there looking for weaknesses.
2007-10-18 17:50:20 · answer #9 · answered by keke T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
confer with him head to head, yet do it in a public place (coffee save). perhaps have your fiancé or somebody else you have confidence be there, yet sitting at a various table incase you sense you may desire to leave and are worried on your risk-free practices. no be counted in case you like it or no longer, this guy would be in touch on your existence in view which you share parenting popular jobs. you do no longer might desire to love him, you do no longer might desire to have him over for the trip journeys, yet he's their father. you may desire to paintings at the same time to advance the little ones you the two had at the same time. Now if he bodily hurts you or the little ones call the police and have your lawyer get a restraining order and require supervised visits.
2016-10-13 03:41:05 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋