for breast feeding women?

Question

why do you continue to critisize women for not breast feeding their babies? you say you want what's best for your children. so are you going to teach them that they need to criticize and look down on anyone who does not believe what they believe in? some women cannot breast feed. are you going to look down on my sister-in-law who has 4, almost 5 children with whom she would have loved to breast feed, but couldn't because she is allergic to her own breast milk, and it has caused her breasts to crack open and bleed? or do you still believe that she should let her children put their mouths on her breasts. i believe that breast feeding is the best thing. i would have done it if i had not dried out. my daughter got the colostrum and a little bit of breast milk. i gave her everything i could, until i went dry. but i want what's best for my daughter, so i have to give her formula. all i'm saying is, yes, give your opinions......WHEN WE ASK FOR THEM!

like i said before, i think breast feeding is the best thing. i wanted to do it more than anything. i have seen many women breastfeed in public, and never once looked down on them. why do you have to look down on us? and yes, now is the time to give your opinion, not when we are asking legitimate formula feeding questions. thank you.

and don't act like you know me. i woke up every 2 hours for 2 months straight so i could feed my daughter every three hours, and try to pump breast milk every three hours. i wanted to breast feed more than anything. and use common sense. if you don't criticize, i'm not talking to you. if you do, you know who you are, and it's getting old. when we ask a question about bottle feeding, we want answers about bottle feeding. just like if you asked a question about breast feeding, i wouldn't tell you all about bottles and formula. it doesn't make sense.

and for people who don't understand about my sister-in-law....she cracked and bled while she was pregnant, not while she was breast feeding. she had a biopsy done, and the doctors found that she was allergic to her breast milk. does that explain it for you?

Answer 1

I agree that people post their opinions sometimes, rather than answer the actual question. However, this goes both ways. I have read breastfeeding questions about pumping or what not, and see that some of the answers are all about "breastfeeding in public is not wrong!" I have read formula questions where answers are all about "Why make a bottle when the breast is so available?"
And truthfully, almost all of us are guilty of it. Most have all given thumbs down when someone does something we don't beleive in, or don't agree with. And that comes with being a mom who is sure in what she is doing as a mother.
But in the process, we are hurting other mommy's, which is just not right. Who am I to say what works out between a mother and a child? We all know that cloth diapers is better for the environment, but that doesn't mean we all use them. Or how doctors recommend we start solid food at 6 months. How many of started at 4 months (I'm raising my hand)

The bottom line is, if someone answers your question in a mean-spirited way, then you have the right to defend yourself. But don't group mothers into that "group" because they had something in common.

I'm probably becoming very confusing, so I'll quit. What I'm trying to say is that most mommy's want you and your little one to be healthy and happy. And if you are both those things, then your a lucky person. So no worries, huh?

Answer 2

Some women feel very strongly that a baby is being short-changed by a mother who is just unwilling to provide them the immunities that only breast milk can provide and it frustrates them. Plus, many women DO make excuses that really aren't the truth (I'm not saying YOU did, I'm saying many do) and this is annoying because not ALL women who choose not to breastfeed have REALLY been unable to - just unwilling to.

I think it's obviously the best thing for ones baby, but I don't care as long as a mother tries and at least provides her baby with colostrum in the first days. I choose to breastfeed mine for much longer then that. I've breastfed each for a minimum of a year and am so happy that I was both able and willing to. It wasn't always easy and although I sometimes felt like giving up in the beginning I didn't. I have no regrets.

Answer 3

In a free country people have the right to give an opinion whenever they want, just like you have the right to walk away or delete the answer. Not all breastfeeders are the same just as not all bottle feeders are the same. My nipples cracked and bled, I got mastitis, I have had a baby with thrush and a baby on a nursing strike. I have had a preemie in the N.I.C.U. and 4 at home and managed to pump and bring fresh milk to the hospital 20 miles away twice a day. I am committed to nursing because it is right for me and my family. I don't care what you or anyone else thinks. I am confident in the decisions my husband and I have made. I refuse to allow anyone to dictate how I feel about myself. If you did the right thing for your family then be confident in that and stop allowing others to dictate your emotions surrounding your relationship with feeding your child

Answer 4

Just take a big deep breath and relax. I breast feed my 5 month and don't criticize mothers who don't breastfeed either by choice or circumstance. Try not to categorize everyone. The same mothers who criticize about breast feeding are the ones who criticize about all child rearing stuff cause they think they know best. The fact that they breast feed is a coincidence. There are lots of jerks on here. You just have to sensor it out. Its tough but sensor and give them a big old thumbs down. You'll always see people getting their back up when it comes to formula feeding and breastfeeding choices, sleeping choices and starting solids. And no I don't think your sister in law should suffer like that. I'm sorry that happened to her.

Answer 5

I think it's because a lot of women lie about the reasons that they didn't breastfeed and sometimes breastfeeding mothers are bothered by that. Many women do give up very easily and then make excuses. It's not right to give up and then tell everyone you couldn't breastfeed because many women really try hard and go through a lot to give their baby their milk and it's rude to say that you tried as hard when you really didn't. It's like making the excuse that you didn't go to college because you didn't have the money when really it's because you didn't have the drive to go. Similar scenario. I'm not saying all women lie, or that you or your sister in law did, I'm just explaining why I think some breastfeeding women get touchy. Since you asked.

Answer 6

I don't think breastfeeding mothers look down on mothers that couldn't breastfeed, but rather look down on the ones that don't try. The ones that find it "yucky" or nasty or something like that. No one looks down at the women that tried, but just couldn't. Or in your case dried up. However when you make a whole post defending yourself, you make yourself seem guilty of something.

And as for opinions, it's silly to think that people aren't going to give them in any sort of forum where people are asking questions. And I am sure you are going to get a huge amount of opinions from posting your rant here.

Answer 7

It goes both ways. I am a breastfeeding mother and sometimes when I post questions about breastfeeding my young toddler I get rude comments from people saying that I should have weaned my son at 6 months.... blah, blah, blah. I just brush it off to ignorance and know I'm doing what's best for my little guy. Also we sometimes have to endure rude comments and looks in public from the less cultured and educated among us. I just try to be patient and tolerant and appreciate that not everyone is as evolved. :o)

Answer 8

Yikes, you sound bitter. I'm sorry if you weren't able to provide your baby with your breast milk. I feel very fortunate that I was, and still am, able to give my children breast milk rather then formula. I do not judge you. I do, however, feel very fortunate that I've been able to experience the wonderful closeness that breastfeeding my little ones provides us. Breastfeeding has made my life much easier (and less expensive!) then if I had to formula feed.

I don't understand why so many women are having problems these days. Makes you wonder how the species survived in years past.

Answer 9

Who attacks who? Your post is kind of a rant, don't you think? I don't think breastfeeding mothers attack women who CAN'T breastfeed. I think they get offended by and tired of listening to those who lie and make excuses about why they "couldn't" breastfeed. The truth is that less then 1% of women, worldwide, are unable to breastfeed... but if you listen to many mothers nowadays it's more like 70+%. Someone just isn't telling the truth! That's offensive.

P.S. I've NEVER heard of someone being allergic to their own breastmilk. My nipples cracked and bled too but that was because of improper latch on. It's hard to believe a lot of the excuses women make up.

If someone doesn't WANT to breastfeed then that's fine. But it's annoying when women give up, or cause problems that cause their milk to dry up (like not nursing enough, pumping, supplementing with formula and bottles) and then make excuses... while many women really do commit to the process and don't give up when things get tough. They should be given credit... not just dismissed by women who feel guilty.

Answer 10

I think that it's because some breastfeeding mothers get tired of hearing every mother who didn't breastfeed saying she "couldnt" when that really isn't the case. Sometimes women experience problems because of lack of knowledge and they give up. It's one thing if someone makes the decision to intentionally cease breastfeeding, obviously every woman has that right, but it's another thing to go around lying and misleading people. I hear it ALL THE TIME. "I couldn't breastfeed because I just couldn't produce enough milk". "My baby just wouldn't latch on." "I tried but I got mastitis and then I dried up." etc. etc. etc. etc. But the truth is they're either giving their babies formula, not breastfeeding enough or correctly, gave the baby a pacifier and bottle too soon (caused nipple confusion), and they give up. So why not be honest? It offends people less.