This one is called Retreat, thoughts anyone?

Question

Retreat
Flee from the light of day
Hide your heart in darkness
Close your eyes to the hot
Spears of sunlight
And look to hope no more

Cage your spirit
Erect iron bars around your soul
Lock it in the dark confines
Of forgetfulness
And look to remembrance no more

Turn away from the world
Protect your fragile self
Let darkness and loneliness
Be your haven
And you shall hurt no more

Answer 1

I loved it! It's not often I say that about a poem on here, but I really loved this one. It had flow, it had rhythm, it feeling, everything. And, it was free-verse! I never read good free-verse poetry anymore, but this was brilliant!

Granted, at 1st I was like, 'why can't people write about something happy?' But I guess that was only because most darker, sad poems I read are all the same. But this was not. This was original.

A quick suggestion though. A simple way to copyright your work, is to print it out from the computer, then mail it to yourself. When get it in the mail, do not open it. That way, you'll have the date you wrote the piece. It's kind of complicate to explain how doing this actually copyrights your work, but I think you get the basic idea, right?

Luck

Answer 2

I like it. I'm reading it in an ironic way, as in of course these are the worst steps possible to try not to hurt anymore. In that way, I like it.
I like the "iron bars" in stanza 2. A very definite picture comes up. I would prefer more imagery like that. Hiding one's figurative heart, caging a spirit, protecting a self are very vague. I mean, I understand the words, but they are not evocative. So, to me, more imagery to balance it out.
If it's literal, nevermind, I'm just going to assume the best.
Thanks.

Answer 3

Awsome love it!!! you should put more of your poetry on here for us. xo

Answer 4

*I like it it comes from within the soul*
I can 'feel' you trying to protect yourself*

Answer 5

depressing, too gloomy for me, but nicely written!

Answer 6

beautiful.