Your face is like an angel
Looking into my soul
Your smile is infectious,
Courageous and bold
You have eyes of innocence
Big and round and blue
Life is so much sweeter
Since I was blessed with you
You’re tough and energetic
Creative and bright
Patient, kind and caring
Filling my world with light
I love you dear sweetheart
Nothing compares to you
The warmth and love you give
Will always shine through
2007-10-18 13:47:29 · 7 answers · asked by cheeky_lil_pixiegirl 3 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
Any feedback would be helpful, likes dislikes etc. How it makes you feel is it readable etc?
2007-10-18 14:08:46 · update #1
Do you want a critique on this or a vote?
It gets my vote regardless
As far as a critique, then I am not qualified to give such.
2007-10-18 14:04:38 · answer #1 · answered by Master U 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only problem I saw was the uneveness in the rhythm.
Your face is like an angel (7 syllables)
Looking into my soul (6)
Your smile is infectious, (6)
Courageous and bold (5)
You have eyes of innocence (7)
Big and round and blue (5)
Life is so much sweeter (6)
Since I was blessed with you ((6)
You’re tough and energetic (7)
Creative and bright (5)
Patient, kind and caring (6)
Filling my world with light (6)
I love you dear sweetheart (6)
Nothing compares to you (6)
The warmth and love you give (6)
Will always shine through (6)
A possible fix is like this, not to rewrite your work, just an example of how to get the rhythm on track. I love your work too much to attempt a re-write.
Your face is like an angel (7)
Looking into my soul (6)
Your smile is so infectious, (7)
Courageous, strong and bold (6)
You have eyes of innocence (7)
So big and round and blue (6)
Life is so much sweeter now (7)
Since I was blessed with you (6)
You’re tough and energetic (7)
Creative and you're bright (6)
You're patient, kind and caring (7)
Filling my world with light (6)
I love you my dear sweetheart (7)
Nothing compares to you (6)
The warmth and love you give me (7)
Will always shine right through (6)
2007-10-19 15:35:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is absolutely Beautiful! it makes me feel like you are expressing your love for a child deep pure unconditional love. so sweet awww A+
2007-10-19 06:20:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not bad, comes from the heart , hopefully your love will appreciate the sensitivity in it.
2007-10-18 15:48:51 · answer #4 · answered by MARK S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i love it
it is so sweet and comes from the heart
2007-10-21 04:56:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
wow!!!! freakin surprising!!!!! its soo good and that i constantly think of an identical factor butive in no way shared the assumption!!!! its humorous how people think of an identical factor each and every now and then...ironic!!!! idk!!! yet appropriate!!!!! famous guy or woman!!!!
2016-10-07 04:49:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
nice
2007-10-21 02:49:09 · answer #7 · answered by Analyst 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋